I'm ready to end winter break

I kind of want to go back to Berkeley. My body feels really gross from not exercising in a long time. It's like ... somewhat sore. I have no idea why. Maybe because I haven't stretched out my muscles in a long time. I also have random impulses to fling my body around because it has a lot of pent-up energy in it. I lie around the house a lot and my eyes have gotten worse from Minesweeper.

I also want to go to Rasputin and look for cds. I like Jaymay and The Burnside Project but they're very hard to find on Limewire. :( I really want to find more bands during break, since Limewire seems to work better at home than at Berkeley. But looking for music leads to my playing more minesweeper while I'm waiting for Limewire to perform searches. And then three hours later I'm like "WHOA WHAT happened to my time?!"

Brett Dennen is surprisingly good too. I hope I didn't delete his cd, which I downloaded some time ago.

I would rather put up a video of other songs I like (Jaymay - Sea Green, Sea Blue and The Burnside Project - And So It Goes) but there are none on youtube. Poopie. Although I don't think anyone clicks these.

New Years is tomorrow! I kind of don't want to bother planning anything because I'm kind of lazy and I don't feel like going out to downtown Disney or anything. But then I think about how in a few years, I might not even be able to go out if I wanted to, and this is the time to do anything and everything I think of. I guess it's more memorable when you drive somewhere and celebrate rather than sit at someone's house, which is what we do all the time. Hmm I think I just convinced myself to go to downtown Disney.

Poor habits I've picked up over break

1. Eating some sort of chinese rice krispy treat every day for breakfast. It's like large rice krispies covered in some sort of syrup or honey. They also taste kind of stale but I've gotten so used to eating one every morning that I feel like I won't be full until I eat one

2. Not exercising at all (I tried running at the track today. I died out at 3 1/2 miles and thought I might actually barf) compared to my usual 30 minute elliptical and 1 hour swimming

3. Sitting at the computer playing minesweeper. Even though I no longer need to make a high score. Who knows when this will end?

4. Drinking a cup of hot chocolate while eating Trader Joe's Chocolate Chip dunkers. Which are delicious but basically just added fat

5. Staring at facebook all day because there are no more new episodes which means my television sites are no longer providing me hilarious recaps to read. I hate being a facebook whore. It's such a waste of my life

I hate food. And being fat. I also went through my xanga entries from past summer and WOW I sure talked about being fat a lot. I wonder why my friends continue to read my entries. Aren't they all the same? HAHA

NEW YEAR = NO MORE FOOD. But it is only December 30th. OMG only one more day until the new year. Oh well. Years don't mean very much in life. It's the number on your paycheck that matters.

What have I done today?

Nothing

Curse of poor eyesight

I decided I would go running today at night. Actually, not really "decided" but "felt like if I didn't exercise, I would go to sleep loathing myself and clutching my fat stomach." So I got ready and walked out and was just passing Greenfield Ave when I heard someone in a car shout something at me. I figured it was some weirdo highschooler so I ignored him and kept walking. And then the car stopped and the person rolled down the window and at this point, I was starting to get freaked out and wondering if anyone would happen to be an eyewitness if I were kidnapped.

Through the music of my iPod, I heard the guy go "hey, Melissa! Melissa!" and I was like "why would a pervert know my name?" but then also wondered if it was some trick. But he made a U-turn and pulled over next to me (facing the wrong way of traffic, too) when I realized it was my cousin. He gave me a ride to the track, but it was dark, so I just went home.

Where I ate an ice cream sandwich and drank hot chocolate and ate cookies. I've noticed that when I fail to exercise, my immediate response is to eat something

Songs I really like right now
1. Jordin Sparks - Tattoo
2. Patrick Park - Something Pretty
3. Patrick Park - Life is a Song
4. The Moldy Peaches - Anyone Else But You (darn you Juno)
5. Cat Power - Sea of Love
6. Mark Ronson - Stop Me
7. Boys Like Girls - Hero/Heroine
8. Jaymay - Sea Green, See Blue
9. Ingrid Michaelson - The Way I Am

My teeth hurt. My dentist seems to think my teeth aren't clean until she makes them bleed.

Hehe

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

Things I'd like to do...

If TV and school weren't my first priority, that is. I've probably made this list like 50 times in my life and they are generally the same thing but I'll just add to it every now and then

1. Surf
Why: It looks fun and I'd like to have a reason to go to the beach other than to take pictures and shop
Things holding me back: Inability to drive to the beach, not owning a surfboard or a wetsuit, not wanting to spend money on an instructor, tendency towards imbalance, not thin enough to prance around the beach
Likelihood: Extremely unlikely unless I rent a beach house with someone one day or go to Hawaii. And with my hate of vacations, this is not happening any time soon. Plus, at a certain age you can't really learn how to surf anymore, or you'll crack a hip

2. Cook healthy, delicious things
Why: So I can eat. And knowing how to cook things is pretty hot. I want to learn how to make delicious salads and then desserts and then bakery stuff like cakes and then Chinese foods like what my mom cooks and then other foods like lasagna.
Things holding me back: I need a kitchen, a pot, cooking oil, ingredients, the ability to turn on a stove
Likelihood: I probably won't start cooking until I get an apartment. But I also don't want to buy any kitchen materials until I'm rich and I can furnish my kitchen from Crate and Barrel because I don't want to have a bunch of Walmart crap lying around.

3. Knit
Why: Because then I can make my own clothes. Knitted gloves, knitted scarves, knitted sweaters, knitted jeans...
Things holding me back: Yarn, needles, and a teacher
Likelihood: I'll probably buy the materials one day, try to make a scarf, realize it's fugly as hell, and give up

4. Make my own soap
Why: Someone's blog mentioned this anad I think it sounds awesome. I would give soap as gifts
Things holding me back: Materials
Likelihood: Unlikely, until I get my own place. I can't imagine I would be excited to pay tons of money for ingredients to make soap that would have to sit around my house, if I could just spend a dollar for a perfectly usable bar of soap.

5. Drive on the freeway blasting music
Why: It's the best way to listen to music
Things holding me back: Fear of driving on the freeway, inability to judge distances
Likelihood: I think I could go my whole life without driving! If I don't have a car, I'll probably never get car insurance again and by the time I graduate, maybe I can just take the BART to work. But I'm sure I'll drive freeway some day

6.

Christmas Shopping for myself

Yesterday night I was checking thetvaddict.com which is where I found out that Target is having $19 sales on box set dvds! I went and these awesomely priced sets include Friends, The Office, The OC, and more. Darn my memory really does suck. There are also $9 Sex and the City dvds, which is extremely cheap but they'd have to be about $5 per dvd for me to buy them because I don't love the show. Anyway, I ended up buying How I Met Your Mother Season 2 which is the one DVD I've really wanted, and The Office Season 3. Oddly, season 2 of The Office was $30. I don't get why.

So go to Target and buy some dvds! I'm in a shopping mood. But my bank account is lower than $300 which makes me really sad. I remember last year when I was like "I'm never going to have less than $1000 in my account!" Although after UGBA I'm under the impression that any money that isn't earning interest is a loss.

The best time to listen to music is while driving. I want to drive freeway but I'm too scared to. The two skills you need, judging distances and making quick decisions, are the two things that I am most poor at. Also, I really suck at changing lanes.

Things I wanted to do this winter break (that I have not yet):
- Run everyday
- Learn how to knit
- Club stuff
- Figure out classes for the next two years
- Buy awesome Christmas gifts for everyone
- Drive freeway

But that's ok because so far I've had a great break. :) Thanks friends!

Mom (coming out wearing somewhat hideous black and green checkered pants that look a lot like the Souplantation trays): Do I look like a clown?
Me: No. You look ok
Dad (wearing a cardigan thing): How do I look?
Me: You look like you're a grandpa
Dad: Good
Me: Good? Why?
Dad: Because then people won't mistake me for your boyfriend

Things I've Realized

- I don't know my grandparents' names. In fact, I don't know anyone's name on my mom's side because they're all Chinese. I realized this after reading someone's blog, where they answer questions with photos, like "where were you born" and "what is your favorite drink." One was "what is your grandmother's name" and she responded with a picture of Kate Hudson, which I thought was pretty cool and I was thinking about what I would put, when I realized I didn't know.

- I'm super fat

- Jordin Sparks finally has singles out and I like them

- Slap Bet is the greatest episode ever and I wonder how many times I've seen the episode in its entirety. I think I may have watched it about 15 times, at least.

- I think I might want a kid. HAHA I want to trick him/her and say Santa is real for as long as possible. Maybe it's because of the holidays, or the super cute blog that I've been reading, but kids are cute! For a few years at least.

- I don't know what I want to do with my body when I die, but I know it won't be this.

Christmas 07

Today was awesome. I like spontaneous plans. I also like reconnecting with friends. And when people tell me private things because it makes me feel like I am worth telling something to. Tell me more! I promise if I had good gossip about myself, I'd tell you all. :) I'm going to restart that habit of writing down what I did in my little day planner. I feel like the past two years have been erased because I didn't keep a very good log of it. Lost memories!

Minuses:
My stomach is much bigger and I have my family dinner tomorrow
I'm breaking out because I left my cleanser at school

Pluses:
Hmm... there is a lot and I'm tired and I can't really say any without making a giant xanga-like entry. Winter break has been pretty good so far. But while I'm super happy hanging out with my friends, it will only be sadder when we start being too busy to hang out every day during break. Tears for the future.

While at Connie's apartment I filled out one of their "Things I want in my significant other." See if you can read my writing. It's pretty hard because some of the letters look faded and my handwriting isn't that great to begin with

Merry Christmas everyone!

Take that bitches!

This is actually my third win of winter break but this is the only one where I actually bothered to take a screencap of it. Now I'm off to SD to run one of the most ridiculous errands ever. Merry Christmas all! I wish I had a child to say "Look what Santa got for you!" and see them tear open a present with delight.

What a little bitch

Today I watched HIMYM at Eric's house with Jackie and Will. YES! I got someone else to watch HIMYM and LIKE IT too. I already have plans for after we complete all three seasons. Friday Night Lights!

We tried to make plans for Christmas. Sadly, all we could think of were: sit around and drink. Plans to go to Disneyland crumbled once we all thought about what we would rather do with $66. What DO people do on holidays?

AGH heartattack

The first thing I do every day now is check bearfacts for my grades. I check this throughout the day, and it generally isn't changed so I don't expect it to have any new grades besides my econ grade. I checked today and saw that another grade had been posted and I had a minor stress attack before seeing the grade. It was for comparative literature, the other class that I already kind of knew that I would get an A in. It just goes downhill from here...

I just drank water from a cup that had a bug in it. -__-

Minesweeper

I was playing minesweeper when I had a ridiculous idea pop into my mind. Minesweeper is a lot like finding someone to marry. You start with a giant map of unknowns and you don't know which one will be the person you end up with. So you start clicking away, uncovering them to see if they're a match. Sometimes they explode in your face, faster than you can say "I'll give you a try." Other times, you end up doing quite well in the game, and you become more and more invested because so far, you haven't lost yet. At some point, you begin to think "I think this is the one!" You think this will be the winning game, because you've come so far and it seems like you won't be losing this one. Sure, there were some times where you didn't know what to do, which box to click or what direction to take. But so far, you've been able to guess your way through and get out fine. Then all of a sudden, you make a mistake and it all ends. You sit there for a bit and rage at the computer because you've spent so much time and effort, and you've come out with nothing. Sometimes you feel like you don't ever want to play it again. But there are those rare moments where you end up winning. The clock has stopped its stressful ticking, and the yellow face now dons a pair of sunglasses with a satisfied smile, and you can now claim something as yours.

I wish...

1) To beat Minesweeper Expert level on this computer. But each time I click new game, I wonder if I'm increasing my chances of getting carpal tunnel syndrome.

2) There were something new on tv besides Deal or No Deal and Clash of the Choirs

3) I didn't fall asleep every time I try to read. It's making my break a lot less exciting

4) I could go running without freezing, or wake up early enough to go running without turning dark

5) My mom would stop making delicious foods that I can't resist eating

6) I could get super thin before Wednesday, which is our extended family dinner. Must look THIN. THIN!!! In particular, as I was online browsing, I'd like my body and wardrobe to look somewhat like this

Even though I try not to look at a picture of a model and say "hey I'd like to be that thin" because it's impossible and probably unhealthy, I WOULD like to be that thin. Also, I want that sweatshirt. I bought a 1/4 zip black sweater from Costco today and I LOVE it. In Thanksgiving, I could have worn that and felt really good about myself. But now I wear it and while it makes my boobs look huge, it also shows my stomach fat rolls. I need a fast, magical surgical option.

8) I could drive really well. Then I would drive to people's houses and I wouldn't be so horribly bored right now

Lunch with the family

Me: Did you buy me a Christmas present yet?
Mom: *smiles*
Brother: She got your insurance for your car
Me: What are you going to give me? Money? Hey, I didn't even get my birthday present yet
Mom: You just want money now because you're running out
Brother: You got a birthday present?! Did I even get anything?
Mom: We took you out to dinner on your birthday
Me: I didn't even get anything! Not even a dinner!
Mom: I gave you $100!
Brother: You got $100 dollars and I got a $30 meal split between 3 people?
Mom: You get my full love
Me: HAHA. I got cash.

Mom (setting out a taco salad): This is something new I've made! Show them how to eat it
Dad: What's to show? Put in mouth. Bite. Swallow.

Dad: We have Mexican sauce for this! It's very spicy!
Me: We have this at our dining commons
Dad: You can tell it's Mexican. Just look at the bottle. *points to bottle* See, that's Jose

Me: You have something green in your teeth
Mom: Oh. Good thing I'm eating this at home. This is not a meal I would make for my boyfriend
Me: You don't have a boyfriend
Brother (to Dad): How does that make you feel?
Mom: He doesn't understand what we're talking about
*Dad quietly eats taco salad*

New blog I've found. It's so awesome. I love reading about cute little kids who say funny things.

I'm going to Target now to buy gifts. The weekend before Christmas. In middle school and high school, all my gifts would have been ready and wrapped a week before the last day of school. I never understood why there would be crowds shopping so close to Christmas. I understand now.

Ok, kids are cute

I'm freaking bored right now but I'm also too lazy to get up and shower so I was browsing through strangers' blogs and someone had blogged about going to Disneyworld with her kid and there were some pictures and OMG SO CUTE.

Right now I am
Looking at:
Girl seeing Cinderella Castle for the first time. The whole set is actually really cute to look at. And I laughed at the notes on Snow White. If I were a parent, I'd hope to get some pictures like these and frame them. Or maybe by that time, I'll just upload them onto a hologram. (I don't think I've ever used that word so I had to look it up on dictionary.com and I wrote holograph at first before changing it. The definition made absolutely no sense to me. More proof that I'm not really that smart)

Listening to:
Iron and Wine - The Trapeze Swinger

I was watching In Good Company with Johnston yesterday and this was the last song and it was pretty. I didn't even feel like it was nine minutes. I didn't bring my computer back for break, so the only music I have is on my iPod. My little iPod shuffle that contains about 80 songs. I'm hoping I don't grow to hate the songs by January 21st.

Wanting to:
Boo. Danny is leaving for Japan tomorrow so I don't think we will be watching How I Met Your Mother for a long time. We're on second season and Eric and Danny were already laughing super hard at the two weaker episodes of the season. I cannot wait to see their reaction to Slap Bet.

Fun memory notes:
- I'm sad because I don't think I can drink ANYTHING with a drop of alcohol in it without turning red. Johnston made some drinks with Bailey's Irish cream and I still turned red. Tears. I thought fat people could drink MORE alcohol
- Decision to order a tempura ice cream while Danny and Eric ate sushi = best idea ever
- Telling my dad I needed a ride to Danny's while exiting Tasty Garden. "Where is it?" "Over there" *points to street which is literally a block away* "THERE?! You could just walk there!" "Fine I'll walk there then" "No no! I'll give you a ride."
- Getting picked up from Johnston's house by Danny, Eric, Regina and Connie Y. which was the loudest car ride I've had in a long time. Lots of screaming. Lots of yelling. Mostly Danny going "LIAR! LIAR!" to Connie and me going "FUCKER! FUCK YOU!" to Danny.
- Danny driving down Michilinda, apparently so we could look at Christmas lights but most of us didn't know where we were headed. So that lead to "Danny ... where are we going?" "To look at Christmas lights!" "WHAT?! I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO IN N OUT. WTF"
- Danny stopping on a hill to look at the LA city lights. Him and Eric were sitting in the front quietly while the girls were talking in the back when Danny was like "WTF. Why are the guys looking at Christmas lights and the girls just talking?!"
- In N Out. Enough said.

I'm not in this picture. Because I don't wish to be stalked. HA. Actually I'm sure I've given enough information to be found by a complete stranger.

My ass is two colors

OMFG. One thing I like about home more than school is that the bathroom is ... well, not a dark stall where I have to wear flip flops and be very careful not to let clothes touch any unidentified liquids. I like having a mirror in the bathroom because then I can look at how fat I am right when I come out of the shower. I already know I got much fatter but I'm hoping I'll be able to muster up the energy to go running EVERY DAY this break. Anyway, yesterday I was looking in the mirror and thinking "boo my stomach is bigger" when I turned around and went WHAT THE FUCK why do I have a swimsuit tan?!

Apparently swimming for an hour in a pool in the daytime, even though it's a cold day and the sun is not really directly on me, will still make you dark. Now I have this really hideous tan line on my body and I can't imagine that I will be going to the beach in a bikini anytime soon. Tears.

I realized I have a shitload to do before Christmas. I feel like Christmas is several weeks away, because it didn't really feel like Christmas in Berkeley. But, depending on when TMV dinner is, I might have to get my secret santa's present by tomorrow. AGH! I had an awesome idea but it fell through and now all my new ideas seem second-rate. Sigh. THINKKK! Also, I only got a gift for my mom, but now I'm starting to think maybe I should buy one for my dad. He's so hard to buy for. Boo.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

I just got home from a 7 hour road trip from Berkeley to Arcadia. I'm ready to just crawl into bed and sleep. It's ridiculously cold in my house. Maybe I should have brought the really warm socks that Alvin bought me last year. I would blog about the last few days but I think I'm too tired to really make it exciting. Highlights:
- Getting everyone to love How I Met Your Mother. It's so gratifying to hear Eric's loud, full laughter when he really likes a joke. It's even more insane to see Danny laugh his silent laugh, and actually pause the episode just to stop and laugh at the line. He was always extremely willing to watch an episode whenever we wanted, which makes me think WOW he must really really like it because he would even stop his episode of Firefly to just watch HIMYM when we wanted
- Eating Cafe Intermezzo Marinated Tofu sandwich as my last meal. Yay to me for not getting something from Cafe Durant and going over to Cafe Intermezzo instead. It was delicious and made a great last Berkeley meal of the year. I now love their tofu sandwiches again. I just have to get less mustard
- Deciding to go swimming at 11:00 in the morning and worrying that they would wake up before I got home to take them to breakfast. I got home at 12:45. They woke up at 2:30
- Totally messing up my sleep schedule by sleeping at 5:45am last night, waking up at 6:45, taking Alvin to the airport, and then resuming sleep from 8:30. When I woke up I thought it was late, late afternoon, possibly 3:00. It turned out to be 10:30
- The boys getting insane food cravings while watching HIMYM last night, during which they tore through all five bags of chips, 4 laughing cow cheeses, and a bunch of cereal and granola
- On the way to Alvin's, we went downstairs, discovered it was raining, decided to not get an umbrella, which was only 3 flights of stairs away, walked through campus and ended up getting extremely wet.
- Playing Bang and now I actually recognize the symbols. Danny is a very strategic player

OMG It's insanely cold. I'm starting to shiver. Purpose of this entry: I came home and started going through the sites that I check up on. I wanted to see what movies are out in Arcadia (I want to watch Juno and Atonement) when I saw a trailer for Forgetting Sarah Marshall. OMG I did not know Jason Segel was in this movie. <3 him. Although the guy who plays Kristen Bell's second boyfriend looks too much like Justin Bobby from The Hills

Who sleeps this late?!

OMG It's 2:20 pm and my friends have YET to wake up. I can't believe this. How can people stay in bed this late?! In the time that they've slept, I've gone to the gym, showered, figured out every button on my camera (yay!), had a fun convo with Connie L, and checked facebook and blogs many, many times. I have not sat in a dark room for this long ... ever. Tears. I'm in prison. :(

I'm not annoyed though because if they weren't here, I'd just be sitting alone at home. At least this way, I can occasionally look down and see Danny stirring in his sleep. I think this is what it feels like to watch little babies sleep. I want to take a picture but Danny will be angry at me.

When they arrived, Eric said one of the questions they asked each other on the way up was "what is one physical trait and one personality trait your significant other must have?" I can add one

- Wakes up early

Sitting in my dark room

I just finished my finals. By the end, I was not in the mood to study computer science at all. Boo to that class. It is raining and windy up in Berkeley, which is no fun and now my pants are drenched. Everyone is sleeping in my room and I don't think they'll be getting up until lunchtime. OH I SHOULD GYM. I don't like the idea of taking my umbrella to the gym though, it's a huge hassle. I'll debate after I finish writing this entry.

I used to get very AHH!!AHHH!!! if we went out and things were not perfectly planned. Now, I've grown to just let things fall as they may because plans seem to change anyway. Yesterday was one of those days. I hadn't even decided where we would eat for breakfast when I woke up. Danny woke up surprisingly early. We went to La Note, which is this super cute super cozy delicious French restaurant. I got some sort of omelette that had orange marmalade in it. Danny, Eric and Jackie even got hot drinks, I think because there was such a grown-up coffee feel to the place. I think everyone enjoyed their meal, even though it wasn't as cheap as usual Berkeley meals go. Efforts to find a fabulous picture of La Note on flickr.com have failed.

Then we set off on our walk down Shattuck. Danny suggested a movie, and I was like ok! When he saw that Enchanted was playing, he got excited so we decided to watch it. Henry was like "what is this about?" and I was like "WAIT. You don't know what this movie is? NO ONE TELL HIM" and everyone started going "NO ONE TELL HENRY! NO ONE TELL HENRY!" but then we walked in and he saw a movie poster and he was like AGHHH NOOO. I guess Amy Adams singing is not appealing.

We went in and the movie theater was in a small little room and we were the first ones in. They were very excited about that. We all sat in our own rows. The movie turned out to be pretty good. Danny plans on downloading that album later. Danny also enjoyed singing the songs as we walked around Berkeley.

Imagine that, only with Danny

Amy Adams is freaking cute! I think her character could have been unbearably annoying but it was pretty well done. The singing was actually fairly nice, although I think the problem with Disney movies now is that they try to churn out music that would sound good on the radio, so it gets radioplay and becomes a popular hit for a few weeks. But I think a lot of the magic in classic Disney movies had to do with the soundtrack, and those songs just aren't supposed to be played on the radio.

After that, everyone was happy because the movie was actually good. We walked around with a "What are we doing now? I don't know we're going to walk around" mentality. We went into Games of Berkeley which is this toy store with what seems like every board game imaginable. Danny happily bought Bang. Walked on with the intention of eating at Cheeseboard ... only to find that it's closed on Mondays. Boo.

So we backtracked out of Gourmet Ghetto, with me going "well at least you saw the pretty part of Berkeley!" and headed to Brazil Cafe. The stand was closed, but we went to the actual restaurant where we got sandwiches, although to Eric and Henry they were like little finger foods. Then we stopped by Alvin's place, where we played some Smash. Danny left, saying "I'm happy now. I got to play smash." We all agreed that Danny is complexly simple.

Went through campus to head to Cafe Intermezzo but they decided that they wanted Asian Ghetto again so we went there. Try to guess who got what. 1) Udon 2) Donut Holes 3) Giant hoagies sandwiches

Then we went home and it became a sort of random night where people did what they wanted. In the end, Jackie and I went to bed around 3am and the boys had gone downstairs to the main lounge to play Bang. I woke up at 7am to head off to my final when I discovered that the floor was completely empty. I went downstairs to see them PLAYING BANG. Goodness. I doubt they slept at all. THEY ARE NOW THOUGH. It's 9:40! It's a good thing I ate a yogurt parfait before my final or I'd be sitting here getting hungrier by the second.

I came into the room and Jackie was like "Eric wanted you to wake him up when you came back." So I shook Eric and he turned away from me, still sleeping. I shook him again and he opened an eye and I was like "Did you want me to wake you up?" and he was like "oh yeah" *closes eyes* Then Henry's alarm went off and I turned it off and I shook him said "did you set your alarm for 9:00?" and he nodded and I thought he was about to get up when he ... closed his eyes and turned away. Eric's phone later rang, and I threw it at his pillow and he made a move like "GAH why is it suddenly ringing so loudly" before he turned it on silent and went to sleep. Basically, I think I'm going to be sitting in my room quietly for the next five hours.

This was a really xanga-like entry. Lame huh? Well, I don't think we're going to snowboard in Lake Tahoe because there is now a snowstorm and we can't drive up through a snowstorm. The boys reacted with a "YAY MORE BERKELEY FOOD" and I reacted with "oh good I didn't want to spend money on a snowboard rental / oh good now I can gym before I leave Berkeley / oh crap I don't know where else to take them for food." I guess we shall see.

I LOVE my friends! And gifts

HEHEHE Danny, Eric, Henry and Jackie made their way up to Berkeley yesterday. We're planning to go to Lake Tahoe after my final on Tuesday, and the idea of our taking a SUV to snowy mountains seems like a plan just waiting to be cancelled. But in the end they made it up!

I'm currently waiting for them to get up. Jackie just got up. I think Henry will be next, once Jackie comes back. Then Eric and then ... much later after many seasons pass, Danny will awaken. HEHE I'm sitting in the dark typing on Danny's computer. He brought it for the sole purpose of abusing our DC++ I think. I found out yesterday that Danny is RIDICULOUSLY stubborn. He couldn't get DC++ to work and I kept going "just let me look at it" for about 30 minutes before he finally gave up. I got it to work.

So they came up yesterday and I gave them specific directions to turn RIGHT on durant and then another right so they could drive west on Channing. Instead, I see a giant Durango with Eric at the wheel, going down the wrong way. They had to pay $2.00 for parking. Asian in me goes "NOOOOOO" I went up to parking and said hi before Danny turned to me and said his bladder was about to explode. So we ran down to my dorms and he peed. HAHA We unpacked and they marveled at the large open space of my dorm room and then we drove down to Alvin's. Where he was SOOO excited to see them. You could hear it in his voice. And how he ran downstairs and hugged everyone so happily. We were in the car and before I could call Alvin to come out, Danny started yelling "ALLVINNNN! ALLLLVINNNNN" and when Alvin picked up he was like "I'm coming! I HEAR DANNY!!!" *hangs up*

We ate at Gypsy's which was awesome because everyone was super hungry so normally extremely filling, makes you want to explode Gypsys was more like appropriate amount of eating. We were going to go to Papamingos but they were too full. So we went back to my dorm and they gave me a totally random gift of A CAMERA!!!


AHHH Isn't it AWESOME? When I opened the box I was like "wait where's the camera" because I'm so used to lugging around the giant one that can't even be found on the market anymore. I spent a long time afterwards marveling over everything in the box. MANUALS! Mmm they smell so nice. A pretty white USB connector that is much nicer looking than the gray one that comes with Sony cameras. Little tiny memory sticks! A cool little wrist strap. An AWESOME lithium battery. OMG I no longer have to use those giant rechargable AA batteries. LITHIUMMM BATTERIESSS!!! The charger is freaking cute too. It looks like a garage door opener. I think you can tell how happy I am.

They even got me a 2.0GB memory stick from Black Friday HEHEHE. Too bad it does not fit in my camera. At one point Eric had to pull it out with my eyebrow tweezers. BUT AHH AWESOME. HEHE when we tried to open the memory stick wrapping, I didn't have scissors but I was like "well I use Chrystal's sewing scissors" and everyone was like "no that probably won't work" because they're tiny and barely cut through paper, much less hard plastic. But Alvin was like "no! Sewing scissors are really strong! I bent them." HAHA sigh. Henry ended up using my serrated knife to cut through the plastic. It looks like a monster tore it up.

We spent the night talking and sleeping at 2. Henry and Eric were amazed by the awesomeness that is the second shower stall of my hall. It has water presure like no other - I can't put my face directly under the stream of water or I feel like my eyes are going to get slapped out. It's also insanely hot, and by the time you're done, it feels like all the dead skin cells have been blasted away. Danny was the last to shower. He didn't bring soap or a towel. I wonder if he was planning to shower at all in this week. HAHA

And now they are awake. So I must fleee. THANK YOU to my friends who pitched in for the camera. :)

Only one more final left

It's 12:16 on a Saturday and I have nothing to do. Although, because I have nothing to do, I want to get started on the shotglass design and order for my club, and the idea of doing that is really starting to stress me out. Boo. Responsibility sucks.

I woke up at 7:28 for my demography final. I walked to Wheeler, blasting Mika - Big Girl on my iPod. HAHA Yesterday I sent Chrystal a few songs and I was like "OMG I know a song that you'd like" and she looked at the file name and said "What are you trying to say, huh?" It was on one of the best trailers for a tv show ever. Freaking cute. It's the most perfect song. Watching the trailer also led to our watching one of the most hilarious scenes of Ugly Betty ever. Again and again and again.

So I was walking to campus and clutching the packet of papers where I had scribbled a bunch of equations, trying to stick them in my memory. I walked in, took a quick survey of the people in the room to make sure I was in the right place, and then sat down, still trying to memorize. The GSI came in and I put everything away, ready to take the test when I realized ... I didn't have my blue book. EMBARASSING as hell. Before, if that happened to someone I would have been thinking "uhh... what did you think we were going to do on final day? Have a party?" but now I'm like "yes, I understand your plight, my friend." I made a lot of attempts to get up and ask to go buy one, but I kept chickening out until finally I was like "I have to do it eventually." Thankfully, she had brought extras. A classmate who I think is super cute was like "you can have one of mine, if you'd like a larger blue book" HEHEHE. Anyway...

The final was ... ok. I think I missed two problems but possibly got partial credit? I'm feeling less sad about my grade because I realize between the midterms and homeworks, even if I had gotten a 90% on my homework, I'd still have to get an A on the final to get a real A in the class, so whatever. I'm just hoping I'm not terribly surprised with a B- or (dear god I hope not) a C over winter break.

One more final, which I have to study for today. Oh how delightful. I'm trying to fill my day with a lot of tasks, so this underlying feeling of loneliness does not emerge. Sigh. I wish I had a friend here who was like MY friend. I think that sounds creepily controlling, but I mean like someone you can just call up and do everything with. Like a friend slave

Finals gymming time

OMG OMG so when I opened up blogger to make a new post, I wanted to listen to some music so I went to http://myspace.com/ladydanville, which I've already talked about once long ago in a post, but I recently remembered that I love their songs so I've been listening to it again. Every time I open their myspace page, I think "Boo I wish I could get their cd somewhere" but it's only available online I think, and I don't have a credit card so I can't buy it. Today I noticed that they are playing in SoCal - and one of the venues is UCLA. On Jan 16th!!! I will be in socal until the 21st so EEK! I want to go to UCLA now. They're playing for one of those Battle of the Bands that some frat put on. Usually I hear about those and I'm like I bet it's some no name band that isn't particulary good but Lady Danville is awesome. AWESOME, I say.

Ok the real reason for my post, which is a lot less exciting and won't have as much emotion in it as the previous paragraph was that I noticed something while gymming today. Two things actually. First, I happened to choose an elliptical that was in front of the tv sets today. Usually I choose one far down, so I'm staring at a roomful of girls doing cardio kickboxing. That sounds a lot pervier than I intended.

The tv sets are always turned to mtvU, which I have grown to hate. The commercials are terrible, especially the ones put on by mtvU, and the videos are all the same. Either it's some black music video with a lot of bling being thrown about, with a number of scantily clad black women with large breasts, or it's some indie band that involves some grimy setting, too many shots of a drummer banging heavily on the drumset, and a crapload of "special effects" like slow motion or rewind. Annoying as hell. It really makes me long for the old music videos of the 90s, where there was some bizarre but clear storyline and an inevitable group dance. I'd post a video, but the embedding code has been disabled and I'm not going to bother making up the code.

Second, I remember last year, before finals I noticed a lot more people going to the gym before winter break. I'm going to say it was the "OH MY GOD I'm fucking fat and I'm about to go home and face all my friends" effect. I go in the morning instead of night now, and it's a totally different group of people who go. For one, it's like ALL white people. There are also more old people, residents of Berkeley, thrown in the mix. Anyway, right before finals I'd see some people bringing lecture notes and studying while they pedaled away. Now, no one brings any notes and there are also fewer people. I feel like the people who still gym in the morning are the ones who 1) feel comfortable with their studying 2) are so burnt out from studying they have to exercise or 3) never cared much about grades in the first place. And the ones who stay at home have finals today and are like WTFFFF?!?!

I still have not showered. I have to read some demography, although all the sections I've saved for today are probably not going to be on the final. I should review some economics but I've looked at the practice finals so many times I don't think I can learn anymore from them. Then I'll make a trip to Trader Joe's just to buy some water crackers. Mmm... water crackers

I should write e-mails to my mom

I never noticed before but I actually really enjoy reading my mom's emails. The e-mail I got today:

Melissa,
Do you need any food? Let me know ASAP. Don't forget to visit new doctor for 1st time. One reason is to eatablish your new "account"? (what's the other proper term) with new doctor. You don't want when emergency happens and there 's no record in their office. So go today or tomorrow. Just tell them you fell you need X-ray. They will send you to the lab. Your doctor visit co-payment is $5 only. No fees for lab. Don't get ripped off. Bye. Take care!

Today is the first day of finals! But not for me. It's finals for all the freshmen who take Chem1A or Math1A, which is just about every freshman who didn't grow up detesting math or science. It's really weird because when I walk down the hall, it's really empty and I know it's because everyone is sitting in some giant room right now, writing away.

I also keep saying "midterms" instead of finals, because I really don't feel like the semester is over. Partly because I don't feel like I've actually learned anything from half of my classes. And also because I'm not itching for school to end. I actually want it to be next semester already. Right now I'm in the state of mind like "OMG I totally have to work my ass off next semester. I'm going to be a work whore" but by the time winter break ends I'm going to be like "ugh school? Why do I have to work?" Also, I feel like there's not really a goal GPA to get. Obviously, I can't flunk all my classes because that would reflect poorly on my resume. But then, I don't feel like it's completely necessary to get straight A's to get a job. Although maybe I do if I want to work for a big4. But still, this is the first time in a long time that I'm not super stressed about grades or really worried about doing well. I think I need to fool myself into thinking that I will be unemployable unless I get straight A's from here on out.

Time to gym. Chrystal freaked out about getting fat yesterday. Whenever people freak out, I freak out too because then I'm like OH NO someone in the world think they're fat! I need to get thin too. I am also unfortunately wearing my fat underwear today, which gives me stomach fat rolls. Something to do with how high it is and how it pinches my stomach. Unfun. I usually save that underwear for days when I feel thin, so the next day I'm like "yes, there is still more you can do to lose weight." But yesterday I just grabbed it out my drawer without thinking. Sigh sigh. Must work out!

Crazy idea I had: When I feel hungry, I go to the gym! Because after I exercise, I always feel like I don't feel like eating. Flaws in the plan? I THINK NOT.

Finally - this is like the entry of misc thoughts - I'm now hooked on a show. Aliens in America! It's a 30min comedy on the CW. I know: THE CW? WTF!? Unless the show is named Veronica Mars, it couldn't possibly be good right? Surprisingly WRONG. Aliens in America is HILARIOUS. I laughed out loud a LOT at the first episode I watched. It's really well-written and has really really good music. There is also an absurdly normal number of Asian people on the show. I'm not someone who goes WE NEED MORE ASIANS ON TV. ASIAN POWER but when it does happen, it's like WOW. A show that's not only white people. *cough* the oc *cough* This is the first episode I watched. You all HAVE to watch it because finals are over for most of you, and for those who still have finals, you need a break.

Click here for a good time

I know there's a bunch of lazy people out there who won't click on a LINK so from the very sparse collection of youtube videos:

Bonnie Somerville is ONE person!

WOW. All this time I thought that Bonnie Somerville, the girl from Friends, and Bonnie Somerville, the girl who sings that song on the Garden State soundtrack, and Bonnie Somerville, the girl who is on Cashmere Mafia, were all different people. Mainly because I didn't assume that she would sing and act at the same time, and I thought Bonnie Somerville from Friends had stopped acting. But it's THE SAME person! And my astonishment at this was enough to warrant a post.

Yeah ... I don't know why someone thought it was necessary to make a video about Thomas the Engine. I ... guess you could say the winding road is the winding track Thomas choo choos along. But I like the song and I don't have the time to search for a better video so this is what you can watch.

I think I would really enjoy Cashmere Mafia. It totally looks like my type of show, doesn't it.

Now back to demography. I'm doing old homework problems, now with the help of the answer key that the professor put out. Sometimes I'm like "oh good I know how to do this now" and other times I'm like "OMG if I had only known how to do this earlier, I wouldn't have gotten a C on that homework assignment."

Also, I realized today that one of my friends was in college when I was still in middle school. Isn't that BIZARRE? I love having older people as my friends - I find them more fun for some reason. But I wonder how I'd feel if I had a friend who was much younger than me, and who sometimes accidentally said things like "HAHA YOU'RE OLD!"

I should have gone to office hours

I can't stop thinking about my demography grade. Partly because I keep studying demography. I went to the review session, where we went over the practice final and I'm more relieved because I could at least understand what was going on. Now I just have to go home and study equations like mad. But I keep thinking about how I probably could have gotten an A, possibly even an A+ in the class if I had just gone to my gsi's office hours to review homework problems that I didn't understand. I did it for statistics last year and I got a good grade. I didn't really think about how important homework was (30% of my grade). If I had just gone through homework problems, I would have gotten 100% on homework, and I would not have to freak out about the final at all.

I'm trying not to think about my computer science class because if I do, I'm going to freak out even more. I'm not sure what I got on my project, which is the main part of my grade. I can't believe I didn't freak out more when I got a 70% and a 80% on my midterms. At that rate, I'm hoping for a 90% on the final. Heh.

Next semester:
- Aim for A+s and slowly readjust goals as year goes on, instead of aiming for nothing and realizing a week before finals that I'm not very happy with my grades

The only good thing is the two classes I'll probably get B's in are 1) the least important prerequisite for Haas and 2) a breadth course

I should have done P/NP

I've never taken a practice test where I didn't know anything. Until JUST NOW. I've been so frantic about studying for economics that I pushed everything aside. Now I realize that I'm actually in danger of getting a C or lower in my demography class. HAAAAAAA. I have a 75% average on my homework, a really bizarre 90% on my midterm that I still have no idea how I got, a project worth 10% of my grade, and this upcoming final. Oh my god. I just did the math and there's no way I can get an A. Actually, I could get a 89.5% if I pull a 100% on my final which ... will not happen.

I can get a 69% on my final and get a B-. If I can't get an A though, I would like a B+ because at least my gpa won't get totally kicked up the ass. Fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK. AGH. If I had done P/NP this would not have affected my gpa. Also, then I wouldn't have to care about this final at all. I guess the bright side is that if I didn't have this final to worry about, I'd be doing nothing for the next four days, so at least I have something to do. Called PANICKING.

I'm the kind of person who has to go through a very thorough process of elimination before being satisfied with the right choice. I came to college knowing that I would do business, but I was like "well how do I know FOR SUREEE that I want to do business? Maybe I just don't know what else is out there." So I thought I'd like demography so I took a course. Lesson learned. I know more than I think. DON'T TRY NEW THINGS.

20 Things before I eat

I woke up at 7am today for some reason and the first thoughts in my head were "agh my eyes are dry what time is it 7:00? that's early AHH AHHH FINALS ARE SOON I HAVE TO STUDY FOR ECON get out of bed get out of bed I have so much to do aghh it's cold." I've been surprisingly productive. I just finished a practice final and I felt like it went pretty well. I'm holding off on looking at the answers, because I'm scared that I got a lot wrong, and if I did I would be pissed off and panic about the coming final. So I'm kind of waiting until 10:00 when I can go to the dining commons and eat some breakfast. I don't really want to actually because I already ate yogurt and my stomach feels full/fat. I'm starting to not be able to distinguish between the two.

Anyway, I wanted to do one of these once a month but it's been like a month and a half.

1. I like the sound of heels on pavement/concrete
2. I suspect that my elbow might be fractured but I'm not in that much pain as long as I don't touch it, so I'm not going to do anything about it
3. I keep all my receipts that they give at the campus markets so I can scribble to do lists when I'm stressed
4. I want to ask my floormate what shampoo/soap she uses because it smells nice, but I think that's a little creepy
5. I wish I had really soft baby-like hands
6. Actually, I shouldn't start a "I wish" list because that could go on for a very long time
7. Whenever 30 rock makes fun of how America's youth knows nothing about history/current events, I laugh because I really don't know anything about history/current events
8. When I read a book, I have to read it a little bit every day or I'll forget all the characters and I'll hate the book
9. I keep imagining myself cooking fantastic meals for myself next year, but I suspect that I will only learn how to make grilled cheese sandwiches and stop there
10. My most played song on iTunes is The Stills - Gender Bombs
11. The first thing I do when I get out of bed is turn on my computer
12. The second thing I do is put eyedrops in my eye
13. I don't understand why people leave their computers on at night
14. I choose books by their covers. And not just their titles, but the font of the title, the color of the book, the size of the book, the type of paper it's printed on including weight, color and texture, and the text:paragraph ratio. Which is why I read a lot of chick lit and zero mystery novels. Mystery novels = small Times New Roman text on gross paper with cheap paperback covers.
15. If you say something and I respond with a small laugh and smile and no verbal response, that means I didn't hear you and I'm trying to play it off as if I did.
16. I really need to start buying Christmas gifts soon
17. When I sleep, I have to lie completely flat on my back
18. When I want to nap, I lie on my side because I know I will not sleep as long in this position
19. I think Victoria Secret PINK sweatpants are ugly
20. I want to buy some more Cal gear - sweatshirts, tshirts, cups

Eat time!

My eyes my eyes

I've been studying economics since 11:00 this morning. It's now 9:00 at night. I have only gotten up to go gymming, during which I took a stack of lecture notes to read while on the elliptical. I didn't go swimming and I haven't watched any tv shows or videos today. I have browsed a few websites here and there, but since it's the weekend, nothing is updated anyway. I've spent a lot of time going through my iTunes, clicking next next next and occasionally rediscovering a song that I love. But all in all ... it's been nearly 10 hours of staring at ONE FUCKING TEST.

I'm also really super fat. Ever since Thanksgiving, I have been eating kind of randomly and exercising far less than usual. The thing is that I exercise more than a lot of people, so I don't feel guilty about it. I think I have to realize that I need to exercise a lot more just to stay the size other people are without trying. Chrystal doesn't do any form of exercise, naps all day, and gorges on fattening food just about every day, but she went home for Thanksgiving and was told she looked thinner. *curses the heavens*

My entire meal today consisted of:
Breakfast - cup of hot chocolate (it comes out of a machine where you just push a button and it comes out of a tube. I think it's really bizarrely fast food-ish, but deceivingly tasty), 1 pancake, 1 grapefruit, 1 orange, some scrambled eggs, 1 English muffin with butter
"Meals" After - Apple, Cinnamon Twist bread, 1 Laughing Cow Cheese with crackers, grapes, small mozerrella fresca sandwich

If you think that's a lot, tell me so I can reduce my meals. Otherwise, I look at that, and because most of them can't qualify as meals, I think that it's fairly little food. Yet, I just looked at my stomach and HOLYCRAP it's effing huge. My period better come soon.

I don't know if I want to subject myself to another economics final, start a demography practice final, or just sit and stare at the ceiling. I don't really want to gym again. The cold attacks me when I go outside.

I can tell my body size is going to go downhill very very soon. I've already used up the "backup thinness" that I had from post-Thanksgiving. I probably won't be able to lose as much weight as I'd like before the boys come up to Berkeley (if they do). Once they're here, I will have to take them to all the delicious foods Berkeley has to offer, which will knock me off my diet of spinach leaves and fruit. I also won't be able to exercise. Then we'll be off to Lake Tahoe, where we will eat god knows what, and our only exercise will be tredging through snow. Once we come home from that, it's eating out in Arcadia and stuffing myself with my mother's cooking. Then, if I visit colleges, it's more random eating. Then I'll be back in Berkeley, New Year's will have passed, so the motivation to follow a diet resolution will have passed, and I'll be super fat.

Sometimes it sucks to know myself so well.

One of the infuriating things about Grey's Anatomy is that Meredith Grey knows she can't commit to a relationship. So every time something goes wrong, she blames it on that. But she never actually changes her behavior (although that's changing ever so slowly in recent episodes) because she just goes "I'm dark and twisty inside and that cannot change." It's annoying because you look at that and as a viewer, you think "well if you know what's wrong with you, just change it dumbass!" But I guess if I know what my diet pitfalls will be, and I just let that happen, then I have no reason to hate on Meredith Grey.

Isn't it fun how I can connect tv to my life?

I got in I got in!

To Math 1b. YAY. Although it is #51 on the waiting list ... THAT'S OK! I'm on my way to double majoring in statistics!

Also, my schedule is bomb. Everything is in perfect blocks. MWF is basically 9-12 and then NOTHING. I can eat breakfast, go to class, gym, eat lunch, do homework! TuTh is classes straight from 2-6. This means I can still gym around 12:00 as well, so my gymming schedule doesn't shift around too much. I'm super happy. Maybe part of it is also the laughing cow cheese I consumed.

Trader Joe's math

It apparently takes me two hours to go grocery shopping. Is this normal? I'm certain it's not, because most people don't circle around the store 3x. And when I say three times, I don't mean pass by the aisles once normal speed and twice quickly. I mean stop, stare at the products, pick them up, stare at them in my hand, set them down, stare at them on the shelf, and repeat. I carried around a peppermint cheesecake in my basket for about twenty minutes until I remembered my rule "don't buy delicious things that tempt you." I've decided that I cannot buy anything from the frozen foods section. I will not even venture there next time. This is because the frozen foods aisles are stocked with a shitload of delicious looking cookies and candies, even more delicious looking desserts, frozen foods that I cannot microwave, and microwavables that don't look particularly healthy. That leaves like ... two aisles for me to look at. But those two aisles are so glorious.This is the actual store that I go to. It's not my picture, but I can recognize it, and the tags say Oakland so I know this is it. Just replace that baby in the cart with an image of me.

I got my usuals: fuji apples, banana bonanza bread, and a bag of baby spinach. But today, I branched out. And I am quite happy with what I bought

- Giant tub of "vanana" yogurt. That name is too similar to vajayjay for my taste. I was deciding between vanilla and vanilla/banana and thought I'd just try something random. I want to make my own yogurt parfaits. Delicious! (although I did not buy granola...)
- Blueberries. For my yogurt parfait. It's bizarre because my parents never bought blueberries for the house. I feel like it's such a foreign fruit. As if I had bought dorian.
- Firm tofu. They also have baked tofu! Now I don't have to go to 99ranch. Awesome
- Laughing cow cheese! Both flavors. I already ate a packet. It was heavenly- and to go with my cheese purchase, I bought two types of water crackers and smoked salmon

Oddly, this was not at all the point of my entry. I don't really think you would be interested in hearing about the foods I buy. Although if I do write about my grocery shopping from now on, it would be interesting to look back on when I'm 35. At that age, I'll either have cracked, gained 50 pounds, and began to eat pizzas and hamburgers daily, or I will have cut down my allowable foods so much that I've ended up eating bags of spinach and tofu. For all meals. (It's really sad that I tried to find the most extreme "healthy/disgusting" food that I could think of, and I could only come up with two things that I actually do eat)

The point of this entry: Ageism. Sounds sad. But honestly, old (slow) people should NOT work at a grocery store. Trader Joe's is all nice for employing people who look like they would have no place else to go and nothing else to do. But oh my god, I had the SLOWEST cashier today. He was very easily confused by the bar codes, because if he missed the scanner, he would stop and look all over the packaging and he had this bizarre talent of finding the barcode at the VERY LAST place he looked. The person in front of me had a shopping cart, and he took each item out individually, and placed them on the counter, before scanning them each very ... slowly.

I guess these are the only people they can hire, because young people are going to college, or they're too poor to afford housing in Berkeley on cashier wages. Actually, that's a lie. There are quite a few young workers going around stocking shelves. Let THEM do the cashier! Sigh.

I am supposed to go swimming in a few minutes but I ate a lot and I just might barf. I need to stop eating. Indefinitely. HA! Just ... kidding.

Tegan and Sara Concert

Eek! I just (actually an hour ago, since I started writing this) returned from the Tegan and Sara concert that I bought tickets for late August. It was freaking good. They are a really aweome band live. I am half happy and half sad, because it was really fun to actually see your favorite band live, but it is really lonely to go to a concert alone. I don't know why my stats gsi loved doing it so much. Concerts are such a date thing, I think. I'd want to go to a concert for a date. Not really for a first date, although that wouldn't be too bad, but a date when you already know the person fairly well.

Things I've learned:
1) The "no cameras or recorders" line on the ticket is a LIE. I didn't bring my camera to take pictures, and while I will probably regret it later in the future, I don't mind now because I don't think I would have whipped out my camera to take pictures
2) I need to take my eyedrops. Everywhere. Apparently my desiccated eyes can't even last an hour without the comfort of rewetting drops
3) Zellerbach is a terrible venue for a concert. It's great for instrumental performances or opera, but concerts with assigned seating are NO FUN. I was only six rows away from the stage though, so I'm glad I bought my ticket so early
4) When a band says "this is our last song" apparently it isn't. This was a happy discovery.

I'm super tired but I haven't decided whether I want to shower or not, so I've ended up just sitting at my computer for the past two hours. I think part of me is waiting for 30 rock and Grey's to come online, so I can watch them. Another part is just too lazy to shower. Another part is optimistically hoping that I will finish my essay, which I had planned to finish Tuesday.

Sitting behind me was a middle-aged looking guy and a girl who looked around my age. I kind of think the daughter is in high school and asked her dad to take her to the concert. I wish I had talked to them in the beginning, when I was just sitting there since I got there early, so I could have seen if I was right. Because if I'm right, I think that's so cute! I certainly would never have asked my parents to take me to a concert, no matter who was playing. But to think someone would 1) love a band that much to 2) ask their dad/mom to come and 3) not look unhappy about it sounds like a really cool parent-child relationship that you'd only see on tv. Or maybe that's just my skewed perspective of family talking.

I want to listen to all Tegan and Sara songs for the rest of the night, but they sound so different from the live versions, it's not satisfying. I always thought concerts were not fun because I assumed live versions would be worse than the album version. But amazingly, I think I liked their live versions even more. And I REALLY love their recorded versions. So, wow.

I'd be angry but I'm too tired

Fuck you telebears! I can't sign up for the Math 1B lecture that I want because the waiting list is full. I HATE those words. I don't see why a waiting list should be full. Why can't you let me wait?! >:O It makes me more angry at myself for not deciding to do statistics earlier, because then I would have added it in my first phase, and I wouldn't be in this position. It makes me very annoyed to think that people added this in their second phase when I could have added it in my first phase, if that makes any sense.

So I signed up for another lecture that I do not want. I actually was leaning towards this lecture, until I was talking to someone this morning and her words were basically "DO NOT. TAKE MATH 1B WITH RATNER." So now I reallyyyyyyy want the lecture I didn't really want before. Only now I can't have it. *kicks wall*

The thing with telebears is I can't try signing up for the first lecture since I'm already technically enrolled in the other one that I don't want. I think I might drop the one I have, and just try to use telebears every day (although I now realize there is a limited number of times you can sign in) and try to sign up for the first lecture, if anyone drops it. However, this means I might lose a place in the lecture I currently have, which means I then have NO class to take. That would be a bitch. ARGH. I'm just very annoyed at myself right now for not signing up earlier. The more I think about it, the more I'm like "damn, the first lecture fits PERFECTLY in my schedule. PERFECTLY"

I was supposed to finish my essay today, and I think I totally could have but then Alvin came over and we watched Superbad. On a Wednesday night. AGH! What is happening to me. I'm not very motivated to do work anymore. I think semesters are too long. I also just remembered that I bought Tegan & Sara concert tickets a long time ago, and it's tomorrow. Instead of being excited, I'm like "AGH I want to go swimming! And I'm going to miss 30 rock" -_-

GIVE ME MATH1B ARGH

Figuring out what I want to do

My telebears phases have passed and out of the four classes I signed up for, I'm only enrolled in one. Two of them are upperdiv Haas core classes, so they put all the second years on the waitlist. The other is a film studies class that I thought sounded interesting, but I think it's on its way to being cancelled. Maybe this is good because there seems to be a curse where all the classes I take because they "sound interesting" turn out to be my most hated classes of the semester. Examples: Bible as Literature, Demography 110. Then there are the classes I take because they just fit my schedule, and they turn out to be pretty fun. Examples: Astronomy, Americans and Global Forest, Comparative Literature 41B. So my next option is to just find something that fits my schedule. Considering that my schedule consists of one class, there are a lot of things I can choose from.

I think I might actually try double majoring in statistics. Which is going to be HELL because majoring in statistics requires 12 classes. Three are prereqs, so by the time I start my junior year, I won't have even completed my prereqs yet, which is a depressing thought. I figure I should at least start now, and see what happens rather than waiting around to see if I decide to do it or not, and ending up not having enough time to take the classes.

I have no idea what people do with statistics majors though. I hope I'm not going to do a bunch of work just to end up not needing the major. Reasons I want to major in statistics:

1) I did really well in stats 21
2) I <3 my stats gsi. But let's not speak of that
3) I looked at career.berkeley.edu and almost everyone who majored in statistics ended up working as an accountant of some sort, so I figure it must help my intended career in some way
4) I hate labs so I can't major in something science-y
5) I never fall asleep in math lectures or discussions, which makes me think I subconsciously love math
6) If I don't double major in something, I feel like I'm not getting as much out of college education-wise
7) I've found that I tend to like people who are smart in math, which makes me think I'm more likely to make friends (wink) with a math major. This sounds like a stupid reason, but it makes sense

I now hate winter. The days are short and it's always dark. This makes me want to sit around in my room and eat things. This then makes me fat and unhappy. Fat, unhappy melly is not a fun person to be around. She rants about being fat all the time. Fat, unhappy melly needs to become fit, fabulous melly before winter break starts.

Waiting for inspiration to kick in

Wow. My stomach is the largest it's been for at least a month. This is depressing. I was supposed to start eating healthier starting December 1st, sort of like an early resolution. Instead:

Day 1: Ate a hamburger and french fries
Day 2: Ate a pesto calzone from Gypsy's, so it's like I ate a baby-sized pocket of cheese

I was also supposed to finish my essay today, but I only wrote a paragraph. I don't know what I did this entire day, because I didn't feel like I wasted the entire day. I just don't have anything to show for 12 hours of being awake.

I find it amazing that more than half of the video is out of sync, yet all the movements correspond with whoever is talking. As in, when one character speaks for a long time, their lips never match up to the words, but when the next character speaks/moves, it happens exactly as it did on the show. Bizarre. I wish I knew how to upload videos of shows. I'd waste so much more of my time on youtube. But then I'd probably get sued for copyright infringement.

New food craze: yogurt parfait

Omg my school has two different yogurt parfaits and I love them. It's my new breakfast now. My old breakfast was cereal, but I've moved onto better, more delicious things. I love breakfasts, and now my meals consist of breakfast: yogurt parfait, lunch: cereal, dinner: fruit. Which is pretty good. I need to refine my meals though, because I still end up eating bad things. Anyway, yogurt parfaits. YUM! The one I get at Bear Market, which is right next to the dorms, is basically a flavored yogurt like strawberry or raspberry with a lot of fruit in them. Cantaloupe, honeydew, grapes, and pineapple. I'm pretty sure I wrote an entry about this, because I remember listing out these fruits once. I wonder what I said in that entry... If I were a better blogger, I'd find the post and link it, but I don't have to motivation to.

My floormate told me the one at GBC is better though. The first time I ate it, I was like OH GOD this is disgusting but I finished the entire thing because I was super hungry. I could just tell that if I weren't so hungry, I'd have thrown it away. I promptly told her that it was nasty. Then, I got it again last week. I'm still not sure why. And I thought it was SO. GOOD. It looks a lot like this:
Only there are no strawberries. Where the layer of strawberries are, there instead lies a layer of delicious granola. Yum.

So this is my new favorite healthy food. I think I've manipulated my mind so much that at this point, I actually feel much happier eating healthy foods and when I eat things like hamburgers, I'm like oh god why am I eating this. I want to find out what kind of yogurt this is made of, so I can make it myself. I think a trip to Trader Joe's is in order.

If I were living on my own, I can imagine myself making a yogurt parfait every morning. I'd eat it out of a glass cup, and then sit and listen to music before rushing off to work.

I was looking around flickr for more pictures and the variation on yogurt parfaits is really wide. It goes from looking like a healthy breakfast to looking like a really sweet dessert. From what I've gathered, a yogurt parfait is basically whatever the hell you want to throw in it.

Embarcadero ice skating

My floormate had his birthday celebration at the embarcadero today. When we go there, I was like OMG I've been here before! But ... the ice rink wasn't here! And then I realized the ice rink is not always there. It was extremely cold. When we were in the hallway, about to go, all the guys were like are you sure you don't want another jacket? but I figured it would be enough. It was not. After ice skating for some time it felt fine though. But then walking from the bart station to the dorms was pretty cold. If I really do go to Lake Tahoe during winter break, I need to find some more jackets. At first I thought I could manage with what I have, but I now realize that if I can't stand the cold here, I'll probably die when snow is added.

We ate Tony Roma's and I had a portabello mushroom burger. It was in the embarcadero center which is really pretty and nicely built. It doesn't feel like a mall though, it feels like some business center. I kind of thought it felt like being in Minority Report. Talking to Caroline, I realized that I haven't been eating out as much as I planned, so I'm planning on eating at La Note, and Brazilian Cafe before winter break ends. Then I have to plan where to take the people coming up to visit. Then I have to plan where to take Caroline when she comes to Arcadia. So many restaurants! I'm definitely going to gain holiday weight. Tear. Also, I need to visit Fisherman's Wharf sometime. And maybe the Berkeley marina for a run.

Ice skating was fun. My legs hurt a lot, which makes me think that I don't really know how to ice skate. Whatever. As long as I don't fall down. At the very end, I heard the loudspeaker say "Will ____ please go to the center of the ice rink" as if someone was looking for her. As I was untying my ice skates, everyone started cheering and clapping and I realized that she was being proposed to. AWW CUTE. Ice skating at the embarcadero is like a knockoff of what I imagine the Rockefeller ice rink to be. It makes me really want to go to NYC for the winter. How awesome would it be to ice skate while it's snowing? HEHE

I love nor cal.

To do tomorrow: finish comp lit essay, do fundraising stuff

Lessons of the Day

Pints of ice cream do not equal meals.

Dreyer's Nestle Toll House Cookie Swirl ice cream is actually not very good. Instead, just buy another flavor and mash cookies into it.

Wear more layers.

I wrote more but it's really boring material.