3.516

I heard that you need a minimum of a 3.5 GPA to even be considered for an internship at a Big 4, which sounds about right. Which means I should really start worrying about my grades. Instead I have this weird reaction where I just shut off my mind and spend hours browsing the internet and playing tetris. At least I finished a small percentage of my homework. I'm hoping to read more tonight, then go shopping (labor day sales, yay!), do more hw, and FINALLY GO FREAKING GYMMING tomorrow.

Other than that, I keep wanting to blog but I don't really know what to blog about. While I loved having TMV up in Berkeley, I don't think I'd be able to write a blow-by-blow account of all the delicious restaurants we ate at. I'm very happy that people got to eat at new restaurants and ate new foods that they hadn't had before. Too bad I wasn't able to take more pictures, but WHAT IF that was the reason why this trip was so particularly successful?! Maybe I shouldn't take so many pictures. And in a year I'll forget that this trip ever happened...

All other topics I'm thinking of have already been blogged about before - stressing about grades, panicking over not going to the gym, wondering about what I should do in the future. So it's not too interesting to go into detail for those. I talked to Li-Ting who also agreed that graduating early would not be a bad idea. That makes two perspectives that I put much faith in, Chrystal (my roommate who knows me better than I probably want anyone to know me), and Li-Ting (my friend who did stick around Berkeley while taking almost no classes and also knows me very well). I realized now that while doing whatever I want to do in that free semester, I can get started on studying for the CPA so I don't have to worry about it in that first year of work. Seems like a pretty good idea after all!

I'm in one of those "I want to CHANGE MY LIFE" moods. But changing my life requires money. Which I have spent way too much of. I wish I had a way of making money without needing to spend the time working for it. I don't mind working, but I don't want to take time away from potential study time.

I guess this was my blog about nothing. It's almost mooncake time! I'm so excited. I already bought a box of mooncakes, only $10 for six! AND it's ALL the flavors I love, PLUS they don't have any of that disgusting egg! Mooncake festival is my favorite holiday, I've realized. Even better than Christmas. Because mooncake is only sold at certain times of the year! MMM I already brushed my teeth, otherwise I would be scarfing one down right now.

I think I either need to write in my private diary or make a list - that is why I feel restless with writing but don't know what to write here.

List of threes (because I realize this today):

Foods I love to eat
1. Japanese
2. Korean
3. Thai

Mooncake flavors I love
1. RED BEAN
2. LOTUS
3. Date, but only if it must come in the box

Things I liked about today
1. The feeling of stepping on a recently mopped tile floor
2. Eating leftovers from yesterday's dinner, which I have never done before
3. Going to Costco with friends and filling the cart to the brim

School! AH!

I don't feel like I'm in school because TMV has come up to visit (yay!). But today I went to my marketing class with Robinson and I had COMPLETELY forgotten how terrifying he was in UGBA10. At least back then, I was in a lecture hall of like 500 people so it was easy to never be picked on, so long as your cell phone didn't ring, you weren't talking to a friend, and you didn't volunteer to say something stupid. But now I'm in a small discussion room with him and 30 other people, and he makes me want to shit my pants. I'm seriously considering changing my schedule from being a nice block of 11-3:30, to a messed up block of 8-9:30, 11-12:30, and 2-3:30. Either that, or embarass myself by running across campus and trying not to be late.

I was planning on getting a haircut while TMV was in SF but I realize now that a hair salon with five stars on Yelp is not going to have much availability for walk-ins. So I'll just sit here and nap. Although I really should be starting the homework that has already started to pile on.

I got a B and B- for the summer. ARGHHH WHY SO MANY B-s?! I really don't think I can even get an interview if my grades keep slipping like these. Sadness.

Happiness Level

If I were to rate my happiness level on a scale of 1-20, I think I would actually be at 19.5. Today was like ... the day when everything turned out VERY well. All the things I care about in life all came up positively today. I'm in that mode where I feel like I don't want to sleep, because then this day will be over. Apparently, the things that make me happy are:

- Selling lots of club stuff at our discount night! I'm always super happy when I come home with a box of cash
- Picking up both shotglasses AND sweatshirts for the club! So far, the things I've wanted to accomplish for this year's club finances have been achieved.
- Hung out with Alvin and Jackie, the Cal TMVers!
- Hung out with Paulo, and got a call from Caroline, so it was like yay floormates!
- Got a call from Connie! I feel loved
- Good relations with my apartment mates
- I called the landlord in the morning to complain about the hot water and before I even stated the problem he was like "I'm outside with the hot water repairman" so I was very impressed by how quickly my landlord takes care of things. Points for that!
- TMV is coming up!
- School has not yet started, which means I have straight A's!
- Stocked my fridge full of fruit, which I will be eating all this week
- Steven bought really cheap but really cool stuff at a street sale, including a clock I have been WAITING to buy. Also, he got toilet paper and paper towels, YAY!
- I somewhat fixed the tv and now I have VERY clear NBC and ABC, and very unclear everything else. But according to my TV list, the only channels I watch are NBC and ABC! I will just go to Caroline's to watch HIMYM I guess
- I ate eggs for breakfast, salad for lunch, and a sandwich for dinner. I HOPE I LOSE WEIGHT TONIGHT!

The only reasons today is not a full 20 is because I had to buy TWO books for the total of $350. GOD DAMN I hate classes that require new editions because I'm so sure that the old edition would suffice. I would have called today a 20 if I had somehow found these books for cheap on craigslist. Too bad.

It is 1am though and I anticipate staying up super late tomorrow for tmv ... wait ... I have class on Wednesday. Maybe staying up late is not a great idea. OH WELL it's just one week of school!

EXCITEMENT! HAPPINESS! JOY! I am going to play some old school Britney Spears to complement my mood.

That's so sad

I didn't notice until my retreat this past weekend, but a common response to things I say is "That's so sad"

Examples:
- "I hope to die at 45." "That's so sad"
- "I don't believe that people necessarily marry for love." "That's so sad"
- "I think if someone cheated on me and I had been with them long enough, I'd just let it slide" "That's so sad"

HAHA. When I choose examples like those, all of which have actually occurred, I guess I can see why.

---

So that's how I wanted to start off today's entry, which I have wanted to write for the past twelve hours. INSTEAD, now all I can think about is how PISSED I AM about the fact that I took one of the coldest showers EVER. WTF WHY is there no hot water in this fucking apartment?! I'm pretty fucking pissed. Either this place IS WORSE THAN I THOUGHT or TOO MANY PEOPLE are using the hot water. In which case, people should use all the hot water they want, because apartment buildings should HAVE the ability to support hot water usage. ARGH ANOTHER reason to add to my "Why I now really hate Berkeley apartments" list. Ok, I would like to end rant here and resume scheduled blog, but I kind of forgot what I had wanted to say and how. Fucking apartment.

---

I did not realize just how much I have thought about my life this summer, until I just started spilling stuff out to Andria and Kristen. I was surprised by how seemingly well-thought out the things I said were, even though it was the first time I had thought them in my head. It just started with us evaluating the retreat (awesome!) and Kristen the club president was like "we're doing this for you, so you know what to do next year" and I was like "I don't even know if I am planning to become an officer next year" which caused everyone to go "WHAT?!" It is complicated only because after this year, I will be the only officer who is not graduating, so it would be kind of weird if I didn't do it the next year I think.

Later, Kristen asked me about my decision, which made me just talk for a very long time. I wonder why I am so open and talkative with people now, but it was good because I guess it made me think about more things, and made us a little closer. So it was like "why don't you want to be finance officer? Do you not like RCSA" and I was like no! I love RCSA! But at this point I always wonder what my motivation for doing this is. And I said something like I do it out of obligation and I don't enjoy some parts of the position, and they were all like "that's so sad!" which made me wonder because I didn't think it was sad at all - just the truth. I feel like I've never done anything because I really wanted to. It was always either as a step to something else (college, Haas) or out of a sense of obligation (if I don't do it, people will look down on me).

And then Kristen was like "well what would you be doing then?" and I was like "well ... I guess nothing?" and she was like "what are your hobbies?" and I was like "I go the gym ... I go online, I go to school, I watch tv." So the idea is that I have no other pressures and nothing competing with RCSA, which is true. I just don't really want to do it.

Before that discussion I had for some reason said to Andria that I was considering graduating early. It's an idea I toyed with sophomore year, but decided against because I was like "why would I cut college short?! I love college!" I totally forgot about the idea until literally this weekend, when I was just laying in my sleeping bag, and I was like "you know what ... I remember that while I was working full-time this summer, I thought that I should savor school because work is just so tiring and painfully neverending. But at this point, two weeks after I last worked, I just don't remember that feeling and now I'm thinking 'why stay in Berkeley if I dislike living here.'"

I can easily graduate a semester early - I can graduate a year early if I put some effort into it, but that would be pretty unnecessarily difficult. Academic wise, I'm just wondering if I should take more business courses, like marketing or whatever. Things that interest me, but in my experience, every class I've taken out of interest has turned out to be my least favorite class. There is not much difference financially, because either I'm paying for an apartment here in Berkeley or paying for whatever I would be doing that free semester. Careerwise ... I would think that if I got an internship for next summer, then it doesn't matter what courses I take senior year since I would have gotten a job offer. Life experience wise, I feel like as long as I set out what I want to do with that free semester I won't squander it by sitting around the house.

Caroline was like "why don't you just think about it," but trying to graduate early isn't really a decision that you can't take back. If you decide not to, you just take more classes. So I don't know... right now the only reason I can think of graduating on time would be if I don't get an internship, which would put all of my career plans in a tailspin.

Ok, enough of that. Chrystal just imed me and I was like OH! Someone I can ask. She basically says it is a cost effective plan and asked me all the right questions like "wouldn't you get angry about having so much free time" and "what would you do with the free semester." I forgot she plans to graduate early as well, which is why she is probably more agreeable to the idea. Chrystal always knows how I would react and thinks about things logically.

More about the retreat and less about my thoughts...

I really liked this retreat, which I didn't expect to. Last year was fun because I was close to some of the officers. This year, I felt like I was only close to Andria but now I feel closer to more people at the end of it. The house was amazing although I kind of think Bodega Bay is an isolated dump. It's too ... farmlike for me. On the way up we stopped by a few restaurants and one of them was a creepy bar where people stared at us, probably because we were Asians. I think the things that worked for our favor were that 1) most of the coordinators didn't know each other, so there weren't any cliques like last year 2) we all seem fairly similar and compatible 3) the Olympics were on so we bonded over that.

We were assigned a meal to cook depending on which branch you belonged to. I had to manage Saturday breakfast, which was good because I feel like that's easier than dinner. I noticed that all the great cooks, even in this group, were ALL GUYS. I feel like this is something about our generation - more male cooks than females. Our Saturday dinner was AMAZING - and it was prepared by like 5 boys and 1 girl. AMAZING. Best garlic bread ever - sourdough with a ton of butter, minced garlic and parsley. It was crazy how we stocked the fridge to the brim with Costco food, and all of our meals were practically from scratch (not counting pancake mix), but everything just tasted so much better than anything we would have gotten from a restaurant. I am reinspired to cook for myself.

There were so many people who were just like "just throw this in" or "let's try this." I know that's the sign of a great cook - but I just can't do that. Like putting paprika on eggs ... I'm like WHAT?! And ground beef pancake - that was kind of funny. I also thought it was interesting how ... we all did our part. If it had been TMV, there would have been several people (including me) who wouldn't do as much, and some who would take the lead. But this weekend, everyone helped out when they were assigned and didn't put up a fuss, some would help as needed even if not assigned the meal, and it just seemed like people cooked/cleaned for fun, and not because they felt obligated to. No one had a set out "role" so we were all kind of equals and it was great to cook one day, and then have the privilege of waking up and just sitting around while others cooked. Normally I'd feel kind of uneasy, but the system made it feel completely ok. It felt much more ... family like in a way. Probably like the way Connie L and her aptmates feel when they cook. I really liked it but I don't think I could do the friends cooking every meal together thing, because it takes SO much time and quite a bit of money.

But yup - retreat was $45 and not even including the house cost, I think $45 totally covers food costs. As finance officer, I know how much food really cost, but I totally would have paid like $15 for both breakfasts, $25 for dinner, and maybe $8 for the lunch if we had gone to restaurants instead. The games we played on the beach turned out to be pretty fun and everyone full-out participated which was nice. Saturday night, we ate our crazy awesome dinner, had a long ass meeting, and then talked/ate even more and waited for the Olympics gold medal basketball round. It was the first time I've ever watched a full sports game, and it was SO FUN. I liked how there is a clear team to root for (obviously go USA) and everyone was into it and screaming and feeling tense about how close the game is. I totally see the appeal in Lebron James now - he is crazy cool. I would love to be the US basketball coach - he is the Duke University coach. can you imagine going back to your college team and saying "I coached Kobe and Lebron James - suck on that."

Also, Daniel made the most delicious apples ever but I will never experiment with it because it's like a heart attack waiting to happen. He says he threw some butter in a pan, chopped up some apples, sauteed them, and then put in brown sugar, syrup, and cinnamon. Amazing.

The thing that makes me incredibly sad is that my camera is messed up. I'm thinking sand got into it, and now the lens doesn't fully protract, so it doesn't focus and I can't take pictures now. I think I might have to send it in for repairs, and now I'm super worried about spending money =L

What else is on my mind? I feel like I have more I want to say but I don't really know what.

So back to the graduating early idea - what would I do with my free time? I thought of this a year ago, but I think I would want to learn how to surf. Like, devote my time to just surfing and not worrying about other things. I know that is unlikely to happen because I worry the most when I technically have nothing to do. Lately I have the idea of just renting an apartment in SD and learning to surf there, since I know the area is pretty nice and it's a popular surfing destination. Maybe I can get a small part-time job, I don't know - just for spending money. I just realized that this would start the month of January though - probably not the best time to go surfing. Maybe I can travel? I hate the idea of traveling though - I don't want to do it. I guess I have to think about this some more. But just because I can't surf immediately doesn't mean I shouldn't do it. Hmm

Tomorrow is errands day. Shit fuck my life.

Retraction

In the last post I said I wanted to be as fit as an Olympic athlete. I think I can edit that to become more realistic now. I'd like to be fit enough to go to the zoo and NOT want to just lie down on the floor and sleep after walking around for three hours. HAHA

I love how my floormates and I all went to the zoo and about an hour before we left, we were basically going from bench to bench and sitting. When we finally left, we had to run to catch the muni, where we all fell asleep, except for Caroline. RIDICULOUS because she had woken up early to go running. Then we decided to just go back to our apartments and rest. But when I ask everyone what they're doing later, we're all like "I'm going to go to the gym" "I'm probably going to go running" and I myself was like "I think I'm going to go swimming."

I don't know how parents are able to freaking push their kids around AND take care of them AND not want to just crawl up and sleep. Goodness. It's hard enough walking myself around. Maybe I am way more unfit than I thought.

I think ... my apartment is clean! I mean, there are some very minor things left to do, like throw out all the stuff that I left in the hallway, but other than that ... all done! It's not very much to celebrate though - in a week I'll have to clean again ... and then again for the next 48ish weeks after that as well.

So ... living with boys. So far only one of my apartmentmates has moved in, and my roommate just drops by every now and then. But I am much closer to my roommate and he always goes with me to Target when I need to shop for the apartment. Those stereotypical scenes where the guy doesn't care about little details and the girl thinks it's the most important decision in the world? Totally true

Me: Jon, we need to get bathroom rug. Which one do you like?
Jon: I don't know they all look fine
Me: Well this one is cute
Jon: Then get that one
Me: But I don't think it matches our bathroom. This one looks better
Jon: Then get that one
Me: But it's so expensive! And it's not mildew free. Should we get this one?
Jon: I don't care ... get whatever one you want
Me: NO! We have to decide together! Don't you care about how our bathroom looks?!
Jon: No...
Me: Fine. I'm getting this one
Jon: WOW LOOK this bath rug is a monkey! Let's get this one!
Me: No.

I moved in first and I found the apartment and I'm the link between the two, so I kind of decide everything for the apartment which is pretty nice. It makes me think that I should probably live alone when I graduate, even though I think it'll be lonely, because I just want things done MY WAY. When Steven brought his stuff, he threw most of it into his room, which I was fine with. But then he brought out his kitchenware and I was totally like "I'll take care of this Steven" because I didn't want him placing stuff in random areas. It was very much like this scene in How I Met Your Mother where Ted is about to move in with Robin and she wants to put all of his stuff in the basement.

Also, my daily fat rant. OMG. I can't believe I have eaten the way I have for the past month and rarely exercised. Once Caroline came to Berkeley and mentioned how she goes for morning runs I was like WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING?! I have very little motivation to gym lately. AHH I have to get back to my old fitness mind! I want to be fit ... like an Olympic athlete! Unlikely I know. But I need to work out my fitness regimen. Which will start TOMORROW! But I'm going to the zoo tomorrow so I probably won't go to the gym. Maybe I should swim at night though... I wait all summer long to swim and when they finally have open hours that fit my schedule, I NEVER GO. ARGH!

SF Zoo should be fun tomorrow. I somehow got 8 people to go ... so yay!

I'm very concerned with maintaining houses now. I went to Caroline's place which is a very nice duplex and met her dad, who is the hugest clean freak ever. I wish I could spend a day with him and he can impart all of his cleaning wisdom on me. Apparently he even lifted up the stove and moved the fridge and made Caroline clean the vent and the floor underneath. INSANE. And he pointed out all the things that next-door houses has neglected to take care of. Which made me think about all the things I should do, maybe not for this place which is already quite old, but for my future home.

RAH! I borrowed a book from the library and I didn't realize it's due on FRIDAY. Which means I have to read it by Friday, 4:00! Boo. It looks like an interesting book too - I already know I won't finish, I'll get through half and have to return it. Then I will not be able to get it for a few weeks and by then I won't want to read it anymore. :(

But I am proud that I read ONE book this summer. My goal had been to read lots. I suppose lots can be defined as one and a fraction of a book!

Now I have to walk back to the living room so I can get wireless connection and submit this post. LAME. Wireless routers need to be made more powerful.

Reviving The Hills

I just watched the first episode of season 4 of The Hills. WHYYY. I didn't watch the third season but then I find out they are starting a fourth season and I hook myself to it. :( There is more Lo which is awesome and probably the reason why I even watch it. But I realized that the reason I watch the show, besides it's great music, is because I learn what NOT to do in life. I read recaps and I can find out what they did wrong in friendships, relationships, and life and I'm like OHHH. I think I learned a lot just from reading the recaps. HAHA

I need to get into more shows. But there's not really anything new on network television that sounds good.

I currently watch:
NBC - Heroes, Life, 30 Rock, The Office, Friday Night Lights. I want to start watching Chuck, and other than that, there are no other acclaimed shows
CBS - How I Met Your Mother, Survivor
ABC - Grey's Anatomy, Lost, Dirty Sexy Money

Cable - The Hills, Weeds, The Daily Show

That seems so little :( I need more entertainment in my life!

SECOND greatest (cleaning) invention ever!

After Henry's hateful comment about my swiffer mop, I'm hesitant to post about the
NEXT greatest invention ever. But I won't let that stop me.
God, that picture is huge.

Anyway, it's a HAND VAC! I can't believe I didn't have one of these before. You feel so powerful holding it in your hand! Mine is only 9.6 volt and there's one out there with 15 volt! And I saw one of those actual full sized vacuums were also 15 volt, so that must be pretty damn powerful. I vacummed my sofa, which made me feel SO relieved/disgusted. Relieved because now I actually feel like it's ok to sit on the sofa. And disgusted because there was a lot more dust than I thought on my sofa and I have been sitting on it for THREE WEEKS now

I'm super duper happy right now! Connie just called me and said TMV is coming up! HEHEHE. I am very excited. The most excited I have been all summer! I feel like I haven't prepared enough with restaurants to take them. ALSO have to gym to lose weight! I am way fatter than I would like and I don't think it's period bloating. :( I am sad that Frances will not be coming because I had looked forward to showing her around for a long time. But at least TWO people will be newbies!

I also just came back from dinner/Olympics watching at (Berkeley) Eric's apartment. I went to Caroline's yesterday to eat her homemade pizza which was incredible. I bought her a fruit tart as a homewarming gift/present for myself. It is THE MOST incredible tart I have EVER eaten. I first ate it at Angelica's birthday party, and I knew that from then on, I would always buy my birthday desserts at Andronico's. So yesterday was fun - Caroline's duplex is amazing but it's twice the price of mine, and when you say TWICE THE PRICE that's a pretty big jump.

Yeah so today - cleaned my apartment! It's like in the final few cleaning steps! I'm so excited. I probably would have finished today but went to Eric's instead. Caroline came, and I gave her the tour. It's funny because she is the first person to not go CRAZY over the living room/kitchen, and that's because her place is much awesomer. Walked over to Eric's where we ate his curry! I love going over to his apartment. They are such crazy great hosts. I just go, say my hellos, and then they shuttle me off to the television with an Orangina in my hand. Then Eric just slaves over the cooking and if you try to see what he's up to, he shoos you away. Watched some terribly boring pre-Olympic coverage (at this point I don't know what I would do without Olympics to watch). Then when Eric is finished cooking, we all join around the dining table. I realize now that Brian has very similar humor to Alvin's - it's very quick witted and funny. After dinner I did the dishes as my thank you to them and to ingratiate myself so they will keep inviting me! Because their food is delicious. And they always the sweetest cantaloupe EVER.

Then watched Olympics for about three hours. First time I ever watched trampoline, which was INSANE. We went home after though, and I missed the whole SCANDALOUS gymnastics segment.

So I guess when I do these MINUTE BY MINUTE blogs, it's usually when I'm excited and I just want to record my day. So here's some more thoughtful thoughts.

I feel very lucky to have friends who would make their THIRD road trip up to norcal in a single summer. And to have friends who would want to see me in the first place. I'm excited to BE excited about having friends over - to the point that I wish I could ditch my first week of classes just to hang out with them, but that would make my already crap ass GPA even lower. And I also feel very happy to have friends in Berkeley who have kick ass apartments and are willing to invite me over to just eat with them. :)

Tomorrow I'm going to the SF Farmer's Market with Caroline at like 8:30 in the morning. I love friends who wake up early! But I realized that I love having friends who wake up late, because it's nice to have that alone time to yourself. I can't believe tomorrow is already Tuesday. I have Wednesday, then Thursday free - then Friday-Sunday is retreat. Monday is another free day, then Tuesday-Sunday is TMV fun! Then more school, and then another retreat! Beginning of school is so packed. It gives me the false sense that I am quite an active student, when that's not true at all.

I should really go to sleep. But how can I sleep when I'm so HAPPY HAPPY! :D

The Greatest Invention Ever

I found this in the hallway closet of my apartment and I was about to throw it away because I had already bought my own Swiffer. I found some wet mopping cloths though, and decided to try it out. I'm SO glad I did because the Wet Jet Swiffer is INCREDIBLE

The thing that separates it from the other Swiffers is a little button that sprays out liquid soap when pressed. I don't know why it requires four AA batteries but it's totally worth it! I haven't ever mopped with a real mop and I never even used my regular Swiffer, but it can't possibly compare to the Wet Jet. It's so fun to just spray ... and scrub! And all of a sudden your tile floor is sparkling clean!

The only downsides are that the scrubber on the side and the velcro attract a lot of dust, so it looks pretty gross pretty quickly. I always hate it when the things you clean with turn dirty looking.

Left to clean in my apartment: the kitchen aka the scourge of my life, the living room, which only requires a few lysol wipings, vacuuming the sofa, a sweep and a mop, and then throwing away a giant cardboard box. There's also a small collection of crap I've accumlated in the hallway, which I will either be posting on Craigslist or sneaking over to my summer sublet and dumping it in their dumpster (as a thank you for a wonderful summer of living there).

I also cooked for the first time today, if cooking is defined as making a single dish. Since I used a pan and cooking oil, I count it as a cooking. I just stir fryed a few green beans with a small bit of garlic. I think it may have been rawer than it should have, but after eating plates of raw spinach for dinner, it's hard for me to be picky about these things. Which means if I ever invite you over for dinner, prepare to eat a lot of undercooked and bland foods.

Right after summer school ended I had that feeling of "BOO my summer is so short!" I have just over a week, not including five days that most other people get, because I have a retreat. But after today, it's only 2:00 and I'm tired of summer break. I basically spent the entire day in my apartment alone - not that I'm complaining about being in the apartment alone. It turned out that I was the only one who fully moved in, so for the past two weeks, I've been staying here on my own. (I can't believe it's only been two weeks - I feel like it's been a month, which is bad because I'm already counting down the months until the contract runs up.) Now, whenever my apartmentmates show up to move in a few things, I have a feeling of "Oh god ... how long are they staying? I hope they leave soon."

The weather is nice and overcasty right now - I should probably go outside and enjoy some air. I'm going to force myself to go to the gym soon. I don't know what happened but I rarely gym nowadays. It's very hard for me to get onto an elliptical or a treadmill and when I do, I don't work very hard at it. Now, when I go to the abs&back class I don't get sore the next day, which means I'm not doing it hard enough. I wonder how many summers have gone by, each with the goal of getting "fabulous abs by the time summer starts!" Probably five summers. STILL unsuccessful. :(

My mom recently got a promotion and is working in a new office that is much closer to home. She just takes the bus to work and she seems to love it, because driving really stresses her out. We ended up talking on the phone for like 90 minutes yesterday, which is well over the usual 15. I feel like I can talk to her more if she has stuff going on in her life, whereas I get very easily annoyed if she starts asking me about my life. I feel like she just decided to go for a promotion, got it, and left her old office after two weeks of eating out with friends every lunch. I hope I have as many friends as she had. But she never says anything like "I miss my coworkers" which I find strange. I think that would be the thing I worry about the most, but she doesn't even seem to mind leaving the place she spent twenty years of her life at.

Time to gym. There's a song playing on my iTunes that has no information, and I wonder who sings it and how I got it.

Soaking up the internet

I freaking shared a Gypsy's calzone and pasta plate with Alvin yesterday, THEN ate THE MOST oily donut ever. It was disgusting. When buying the donut, I even knew I was ridiculously full but decided to do it anyway. Buying donuts past midnight - IS A BAD IDEA. Because King Pin knows that the only people who buy donuts at that time are people who are drunk or high. And they don't care about how much oil they are consuming. So King Pin decides to just make the donut pure oil!

Literally, when I bit into the donut, a pool of oil would form in my mouth. *cries*

I somehow woke up at 6:30 today. I decided I would go to the sublet and use the internet for a while. Then I went to eat breakfast, which was gross because I went ten minutes before closing so there were no more strawberries or cantaloupe :( I paid $5.50 for a plate of hash browns and eggs. My mealpoints would have been better spent on Naked juice. Went to Trader Joe's at 9 - so my morning was fairly productive. Then I ended up going back to the sublet for the past two hours. Good thing is that even though I feel like I've sat around the entire day, the "day" is only 12:20, which is when a good number of people just wake up.

Sad thing is that for the past two weeks, I thought I didn't have television. I had a fuzzy few channels, but there was no sound. Alvin came over last night and was like "there's no volume?" and turned it up for a long time ... and then suddenly there was volume. OMFG. I'm really hoping there really WASN'T volume, instead of the alternative, which is that I didn't press the up button long enough. -_- I freaking missed the opening ceremonies for NO REASON then.

Ok. I want to go to Target (even though I JUST went there) so I can buy a TOASTER OVEN! And a shower curtain and a bath mat to make my bathroom nice. And some contact paper. Exciting stuff.

CLEANING 2008 CONTINUES

Goals:
1) complete bathroom cleaning
2) unpack things I have finally brought over from the sublet
3) actually go to the gym

My favorite reading from this summer

From: The Cheating Culture by David Callahan

For young people, though, the biggest social-health story of the 1990s was the onslaught of a virulent new strain of consumerism. The disease begins earlier and earlier with children these days, and it just gets worse ...

"Over the past 10 years, more people have come to think of themselves as having their identites shaped by their consumer goods"...

A bit of competitive spending might be fine if it weren't so heard to keep up with those who set today's standards of material well-being.

We are now likely to compare ourselves with "Reference groups" who make much more money than we do. If you're rich, you compare yourself to the superrich ... If you're upper middle class, yo ucompare yourself to the rich. If you're middle class or lower class, you might compare yourself to both the upper middle class and the rich.

Stroll again into that Banana Republic and look around. Chances are that many of the young people buying the $42 polo shirts and the $78 jeans are plunking down plastic at what is anachronistically known as the "cash" register, and can't really afford these clothes. Unfortunately, in many urban areas the fashion taste of, say, a wealthy young advertising executive, is akin to that of a low-paid editor at a food magazine. The editor shops at Banana Republic, in part, to fit into a social and cultural environment where she regularly compares herself to people who have five times her income.

Withe pressures like these, it's no surprise that many Americans believe that more money would make them happier. And yet, like a mirage, people's definition of enough money keeps flitting into the distance. Between 1987 and 1996, a period of only modest income gains for most households, the estimate among Americans as to how much annual income they needed to live in "reasonable comfort" increased by 30 percent, while the amount of money they felt they would need to fulfill all their dreams nearly doubled, from $50,000 to $90,000...

Gaps between financial dreams and realities are hardly new in America. Some might say that these gaps are what America is about and that they are a good thing, keeping people on their toes and the economy humming. Yet there's a fine line between aspiration and envy, and between a healthy desire to get ahead and a relentless struggle to keep up.

-------------------------

I read this right around the time I was starting to think that a starting salary of $50,000 as an auditor would not be very much, so it kind of struck a chord in me.

Now that I haven't had my own internet for a week (I've been going to my sublet or campus to use the internet) whenever I'm online, I stay online for a LONGGG time. Which would also explain that sudden surge in blog posts. I finally bought a dresser and a bathroom shelf, so once I finish doing that, I can finish organizing the apartment! I foresee completion by Thursday. Although I have two finals on Wednesday so maybe I should concentrate on that.

I have tons to do. I should probably go do them.

College education - not very valued

When I went to my "internship" a few days ago, one of the things the people kept saying was how fun it is to be an auditor, especially because you're working in a team of smart people. And several people emphasized "the people here are actually SMART." Sounds familiar to me. I remember before college started, there was that whole "you're going to school with people who are SMART" and the idea of college being an exchange of ideas. I'm not a genius and I know very little about the world or current events ... but I've been fairly disappointed with the other people at my school.

If anything, the people at AHS worked way harder and seem more capable than the people at this school. I'm saying in general - I've been on several projects where I was like "oh damn ... I'll get out of your way, just tell me what to do." But right now I'm more like "WTF WHY DID I JUST WASTE TWO HOURS OF MY LIFE."

On Friday, we set a meeting for Saturday and I'm fairly certain I specifically said "have your parts written out and then we can go over them and edit." I got all panicky because I thought I hadn't done enough, but it turns out that only one other person actually took the time to DO THE FUCKING ASSIGNMENT. The past two hours was just me going "ummm... do you want to share your part?" and then people just asking each other about little details that don't even matter and just silently typing up their part. Which, again THEY SHOULD HAVE DONE LAST NIGHT.

Now, twenty minutes before our meeting is set to end, we're actually doing things. -_-

I'm kind of over my apartment

I've spent the last two weeks planning to clean my apartment and the last two days actually cleaning my apartment. I remember when I first got the keys to my apartment and I was standing there, I was like OMGGG!!! My own place! And I loved it - especially the well decorated living room and spacious kitchen. But now, I'm totally over it and I kind of would like to find a new place to live. HAHA

I think the one way I've changed this summer is: my love for Berkeley is starting to drop. I LOVE the school, the food and the people. But I just don't enjoy LIVING here. Once I moved out of the dorms, I finally saw what others mean when they say Berkeley is ghetto. Living in dorms, where someone cleans the common areas every day, where you eat meals in a super clean and shiny dining hall that serves organic, and where the extent of "cleaning" is periodically lysol wiping your table and doing laundry, you don't see the ghettoness at all. The sublet was a wakeup call, and my apartment is just a constant reminder of ghetto.

So the thing I've learned from this summer is: where you live matters. I used to think I could probably get used to anything, or clean anything, but there are a lot of things that are out of your hands, especially when you rent. If I were insanely rich, I'd probably redo the cabinets of my kitchen and redo the pipes. Actually, if I were insanely rich, I'd be living in Gaia instead of my current apartment. But there are just a lot of things that I envisioned for my apartment, and I don't think I'll be able to ever get it to that level of cleanliness. Even if everything is covered with a layer of bleach and then recovered with contact paper, the structure of the apartment is just ... old.

I'm hoping that by next year, I'll make a friend who will live with me in a one bedroom apartment that is small but shiny and new. Something that looks like it's out of an IKEA catalog, although that will be extremely expensive, if I'm looking at Berkeley.

Busiest week ever

I'm freaking exhausted. Right now I'm at one of my relative's house, using the computer until she can send me back to the BART station at 7:00. This week has been one of those busy weeks that I love to have every now and then. But I'm realizing that these "busy weeks" are going to be every week of my future life.

Monday was class: another 1:00-9:30 day. I had just gotten back from SoCal at freaking 3:40 am. Damn you traffic - I can't believe I actually sat in traffic for TWO hours and moved THREE miles. It was one of those "how do we pass the time? Flash a truck driver!" moments even though I didn't actually do it. I woke up, did the reading assignments I had forgotten about over the weekend, then went off to class. Went to the new apartment after class, redid my essay because when I went into section, I had a sudden realization of "I CANNOT TURN IN THIS C PAPER." I spent the rest of the night redoing the kitchen drawers until 2:30am, and I didn't even finish. I'm about 25% done with relining the shelves with new contact paper, and about 3% done with total cleaning I have planned.

Tuesday: was work, from 9:00-5:00, my last day. We ended up getting assigned a new project that I felt obligated to finish in a day since I wouldn't be coming back. It was the most mindless work ever, but luckily I figured out a more efficient way to finish it and probably saved myself five hours. Went grocery shopping at Trader Joe's, where I realized my dreams of cooking glorious meals are going to never come to life if I don't find someone to drive me to a grocery store. Whereas I could easily transport a bag of cereal, apples, and yogurt home, now, it's pretty hard to carry groceries that would feed you for actual meals.

Wednesday: Woke up at 6:45 to eat breakfast then went to SF for the first day of my "internship." I guess it is more accurately called a shadowing program, although I've never heard people call it that for accounting. I had planned on taking the BART, but then realized I could take the bus and get a lovely view of the Bay Bridge. The bus left twenty minutes later than I had thought, so I ended up rushing my breakfast for nothing. I also ended up sleeping on most of the bus ride, so I didn't even get the full "WOW bay bridge" experience. I did get to experience traffic on the Bay Bridge, which was fun/terrifying. For some reason, I had the sudden thought of "OMG This bridge is NOT seismically safe! If we had an earthquake RIGHT NOW I would plunge into the bay in a GIANT BUS". I got to the Transbay Terminal with 11 minutes to spare, and I'm so glad that I decided to walk around SF Financial District one weekend, because I knew where to go. The building was much taller than I imagined, so I ended up walking a block south of it to check and see if I was actually going into the one labelled US Bank. Got there with time to spare.

Wednesday was TIRING. But very fun. I liked the presentations, although I nodded off a few times. I like the place a lot but I still think I want to go to a Big 4. The one I went to was like in the top six, but it targets middle-sized companies whereas Big 4s work for huge companies, which I think would be more interesting to audit.

I've noticed that there's this progression of worries for people in business: it kind of goes 1) AGH Have to get good grades to get into Haas! 2) OMG Have to get internships!! 3) WHICH is the best company to work?! At least that is what I am going through. Maybe our generation is much more concerned about finding the PERFECT place to work. I'm starting to care much more about picking up on little signs of a firm's work culture. I still like PWC the most, but who really knows. But now I'm not only concerned about getting an internship for next summer, I'm thinking about which ONE I want the most. Because basically if you can land a summer internship, it's like 99% that you'll be given a full-time offer, and if I can have that then YAY. Job security before my senior year! But if I end up interning at a place I don't like, I'll still be like OH NO WHAT NOW

Wednesday night, I came back from SF around 8:00, packed my stuff, then went back to the bart to go to my relative's house in Cupertino, since I had to be in San Jose today. Super tiring.

So I got out of work at like 2:20 today when it was supposed to be 5:00. We were supposed to work on our case study presentations, but the rest of my team basically decided to leave and I was kind of like "whoa ... wtf just happened" when I suddenly found myself sitting by myself. They were like "I'd care more if it were for a grade, but it's not so..." and I'm kind of like WTF I don't want to embarass myself in front of actual employees. -_- Everyone else was hard at work for like a full thirty minutes after they left and I realized I should have stayed longer but I had already called my aunt to pick me up so I couldn't change it. Sigh.

My feet hurt A LOT. Heels for two days, one of which included running around SF for a scavenger hunt for an hour. PAINFUL. Tomorrow is another day at SF, and it ends at 12:00 when I thought it ended at 5:00. I have a group meeting at 5:30, so I think I will go to the mall and go shopping.

But not for recreating. EVERY time I go to some business function, I leave thinking "OMFG WHY don't I have more shoes?! More dress pants?! Better dress shirts?! A nicer wallet! An actual work bag?!" I feel very unprepared. Luckily I think GT is more casual than the Big 4's - I dressed up in a sort of suit on Wednesday and was like one of three people to do so. I'm pretty sure everyone would have been dressed up crazily for Big 4's. I always say that - "MUST BUY NICE THINGS FOR BUSINESS" but never do.

I'm getting CRAZY DEJA VU right now. The feeling of me at my relative's house, typing on blogspot about needing business clothes - I'm like 90% sure I dreamt about this and woke up thinking "why would I ever be at my aunt's house?!" Very weird.

This weekend isn't even relaxing for me. I have to work with my group for a 20-min presentation. Remember those presentations in AP English? Kind of like those, only now I can't pad half of the presentation with stupid games where we give out food. Then, in any time I have free, I'll be cleaning my apartment. Wednesday is the last day of summer classes (CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!), I have one week before school starts, which I once wondered "what the heck will I do?!" WELL NOW I KNOW. It's going to be:

1) Clean kitchen (reline shelves with contact paper, find something to scrub the wooden drawers and shelves with, wash all dishes, clean counters with some intense lysol action, mop, sweep)
2) Clean hallway closet which will become my actual closet (air out terrible musty smell, put in air fresheners, buy a dresser, assemble dresser, buy a rug)
3) Clean bedroom (organize stuff, wash blankets, wash curtains, mop, sweep)
4) Clean living room (organize stuff, wash couch cushions, clean surfaces with more lysol action, GET FREAKING CABLE)
5) Clean bathroom (scrub bathtub, clean bathroom sink, clean toilet, buy a shelf for the bathroom to put stuff on)
6) Buy slippers to wear around the house
7) Move fridge from sublet to apartment

I really feel like if I didn't sleep for a day, I could do all of this in a single day. But I already know that I won't be able to. Also, WTF. I looked and all but one of the electrical outlets are two-pronged. WTF HOW am I supposed to plug in my laptop or even the surge protectors?! I don't know what to change - the actual outlet? Or do I buy some sort of converter? Also, is there some sort of way to clean wood drawers besides tossing them in hot water? I'm pretty sure you don't do that with wood materials. ALSO, I feel like every night I sleep in the apartment, I wake up with dust in my throat and nose. I feel like I'm going to get cancer living there. This summer has been full of "don't skimp on where you live" lessons. I'm kind of already starting to envision my next year, and wanting to live in one of those ridiculously expensive one-room apartments like Gaia.

Long blog entry! Or maybe because this screen resolution makes the font size huge.

I hate pizza

When I first ate at the dining commons in Berkeley, every dinner I ate a TON of food. I'd like to forget the days of uninhibited eating, but it's a good reminder that even though there is good food out there, it doesn't all belong in my stomach. Every day I would get a slice of pizza in addition to the many other plates of food. One day I realized, surprise, maybe pizza isn't that great for you, even if it served in the city of Berkeley. I probably would have continued to eat pizza despite my epiphany, except that the new semester started, Cafe 3 opened for the first time since its remodel, and I started eating there for dinner. The people they hired were newbies, so the first week of spring semester was pretty bad - people were still learning how to do everything so food wasn't great or always ready.

Thankfully for me, that first week had some TERRIBLE pizza. And after several tries of eating failed pizza, I finally got completely turned off to it and just never had the desire to eat it again. Now when I see that the only thing I have to eat is pizza, I get kind of annoyed. After being the finance officer of my club, I've started REALLY hating pizza. There was one club event where we decided to provide free food. The go-to food for all clubs is pizza. A lot more people showed up than expected and someone decided to order more pizza. I arrived after this and they gave me the receipt to reimburse and I was like WTF. It set the club back like a hundred bucks when the entire social budget was only $700 and the entire year I'd think about how much money was wasted on food we really shouldn't have bought in the first place.

Why pizza sucks: it's actually fairly expensive when you think about how much you have to buy for large parties, it goes by really quickly, it's not particularly satisfying, and it's greasy and not very nutritional.

I'm prompted to write this entry because TODAY I HAD PIZZA. It's not that I never eat pizza, I eat Cheeseboard and Little Star Pizza with relatively little complaint. But I still don't really enjoy eating it. Today I looked at the boxes set out on the dining table and was like ugh ... I really don't want to eat this. But I'm not going out for dinner so I figured I might as well eat it. I used to say I like Pizza Hut pizza the most (out of chain restaurants) but NEVER AGAIN. The pizza had all the negatives I mentioned above, but it was also not very well made. TERRIBLE cheese, way too much tomato sauce, and I think it was taken out of the oven before it was meant to be. So now I'm in an annoyed mood because whenever I feel unhealthy or fat I get incredibly cranky.

It's funny/stupid/other adjective that the ONE time I've eaten at home the last two times I came down, we eat PIZZA. My mom bought it because she went shopping with my cousins and is understandably exhausted and not in the mood to cook. But it kind of annoys me that she chose pizza to eat. Just because they're from Taiwan doesn't mean they've NEVER HAD pizza. There's freaking Pizza Hut in Taiwan! I'm not annoyed at my mom, it's more like I'm annoyed at the idea that pizza is the staple food of quick fix dinners for groups of people.

I'm a little astonished by how terrible of a host I think my mom is. I think part of the problem is that my cousins are my age, so to her, it's like having little children to take care of again. She would have absolutely no problem hosting her sisters or her mother. But I think about how much I plan when I have friends coming, (like making a list of restaurants I think they'd like or doing all of my homework early so I don't have to worry about it during play time), and how little she seems to care about their experience. I don't really feel comfortable talking to them because my Chinese is so terrible, and I also would much rather hang out with my friends, but part of me really wants to take them around California and show them all the good things. Because right now, they probably view America as: shopping land with meals of pizza and terrible public transportation.

If I could somehow type this quickly for the paper I've been working on for the past four days, I would not have spent this entire day sprawled on the ground.

It's very hot here. I wish I had been cleaning my apartment this weekend, but I'm still quite happy. I'm kind of screwed next week - I need to go to the internship for three days straight and I have one pair of dress pants that are fairly distinguishable. People will think I'm poor! Or that I don't shower. I should have spent a few hours today shopping instead of sleeping. But I'm sure I'll work something out ... eventually.