Otherwise, I would be barfing up the sandwich I just ate. Oh my god, I feel really insanely full right now. I forgot that my current diet was supposed to be my "flavorless" diet where I don't eat anything delicious for a long enough time that tasteless foods because flavorful, not my normal diet where I just eat less. Before economics, I wanted a sandwich but I ate a granola bar. After economics, I didn't really want a sandwich anymore but when I stopped in the restaurant, the girl behind the register saw me and smiled and I was like "oh crap now she assumes that I'm going to buy something and I'll feel weird if I just walk away." So I ordered a Garlic Chicken Sandwich. Thinking about it now, I should have just ordered a drink.
I could have eaten half but at the half point I was like "eh I could probably finish it off." And I did. And now I feel like crap.
What have I learned today?
- Don't give into cravings
- Stick to my scheduled meals (breakfast I: parfait, breakfast II: cereal, lunch: salad/smoothie/sandwich, dinner: fruit)
- Moderate self with food; eat until no longer hungry, not eat until full
I think I always try to justify eating something that I know I'll regret with "I should just eat what I like because it's sad when you eat the exact same food at the exact same time for the rest of your life." I should counter this with "It's not sad if you're thin." I need to write this down on a flashcard.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Yum food
I'm eating a yogurt parfait right now and I'm just extremely confused. With every bite, I look at what's in my spoon and I think "umm... I don't see how a combination of yogurt and pineapple/cantaloupe/honeydew/grapes/raisins/granola can turn out well" but I'm so hungry that I eat it anyway ... and it's not that bad! My throat kind of stings though, which probably means something is too sweet. But it feels somewhat healthy ... and it's only $2.99 with mealpoints so maybe this will be my new breakfast.
Oh my god. My ice cold heart is warmed
Oh my god. My ice cold heart is warmed
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Dirty Sexy Money
I saw about three positive reviews for Dirty Sexy Money yesterday, so today, I watched an episode. It was not exactly what I expected but I might keep watching it anyway. After I watched the episode, I took a nap and I had the WEIRDEST dreams ever. I don't remember what happened, but I was in a half lucid state, and I just know that I kept waking up thinking "what the hell was that?"
I think everyone in the show looks like someone else. But most people don't agree with my "hey they look like..."
Peter Krause + 15 years = Stephen Collins (I can't believe I remember his name)
William Baldwin - 15 years = Jake Gyllenhaal
There are more but I'm tired of looking for pictures. I have to admit that the main reason I wanted to watch this was because I wanted to see how they portray the ultra ultra rich spending their money. And then live vicariously through them. It's on Wednesdays at 10!
I think everyone in the show looks like someone else. But most people don't agree with my "hey they look like..."
Peter Krause + 15 years = Stephen Collins (I can't believe I remember his name)
William Baldwin - 15 years = Jake GyllenhaalSamaire Armstrong is practically unrecognizable from her time as Anna on The OC. 
There is a direct relationship between the number of posts and my boredom
I totally want Britney Spears' new album Blackout. Listen to the entire cd here. Her voice has been so processed and engineered that the tracks sound totally fine. And I like poppy songs that have a lot of synthetic sounds anyway, so this is actually not that bad to listen to.
Friday, October 26, 2007
I should buy one of these to work out my arms
I've been spending the day reading this blog that I've found. I've read almost all his posts so far, which have been entertaining. I'm always surprised when I find a blog that I like, and it's written by a man. Mainly because I can't imagine my guy friends writing blogs (much less interesting ones). I'm reading a post right now and he's talking about how he went to the zoo with his fiance (now wife) and there were all these strollers and he posted some pictures and JESUS WHO WOULD DRIVE THIS AROUND?
If we had two of these, it would be enough to cart around TMV. That is, if TMV were made up of tiny people. Can you imagine walking down the street and seeing one of these? I think I would bust up laughing. It looks like it should be attached to a roller coaster ride.
I'm just sitting here thinking about who this stroller appeals to. First of all, the parents buying this would have to have six kids all around the same age, who would all fit in these seats. Second, the parents must be super strong because wheeling around six kids is probably a bitch. Third ... there is no third that can be put into words.
Reading that blog makes me sad that I'm single. Or more ... I can live with being single at my age. But I want to know that when I'm his age, I'll be in a serious relationship. I need to find more blogs that I can live vicariously through.
Blogs that I enjoy reading
- People who are older than me
- People who make short entries
- People who have jobs
- People who are in relationships
- People who blog about the same general friends so it's easy to keep track of
- People who have kids (which is odd because I don't want kids but it's fun to hear about them)
- People who watch the same shows that I do
- People who talk about their lives and not the news or some issue
- People who have simple, pretty, or well laid out blogs
- People who have funny entries
If we had two of these, it would be enough to cart around TMV. That is, if TMV were made up of tiny people. Can you imagine walking down the street and seeing one of these? I think I would bust up laughing. It looks like it should be attached to a roller coaster ride.I'm just sitting here thinking about who this stroller appeals to. First of all, the parents buying this would have to have six kids all around the same age, who would all fit in these seats. Second, the parents must be super strong because wheeling around six kids is probably a bitch. Third ... there is no third that can be put into words.
Reading that blog makes me sad that I'm single. Or more ... I can live with being single at my age. But I want to know that when I'm his age, I'll be in a serious relationship. I need to find more blogs that I can live vicariously through.
Blogs that I enjoy reading
- People who are older than me
- People who make short entries
- People who have jobs
- People who are in relationships
- People who blog about the same general friends so it's easy to keep track of
- People who have kids (which is odd because I don't want kids but it's fun to hear about them)
- People who watch the same shows that I do
- People who talk about their lives and not the news or some issue
- People who have simple, pretty, or well laid out blogs
- People who have funny entries
20 Things You Don't Have To Know About Me
I was looking through random blogs (because I'm trying not to do work and so far I have marvelously succeeded) and I noticed that a lot of people had a little "100 things about me" on the right side of their blogs. Lists! I love them. I also loved those quizzes people took and posted on their xangas, but that was so middle school. I don't think even my friends who know me would want to read through a list of 100 things, nor would I think of 100 interesting things all in one sitting. So I'm just going to do multiple installments because I'm bored and I don't think anything will happen to me in the next three days that will be worth blogging about so I might as well do this.
1. I actually wrote eight things before deleting the post and napping. The first item had been "I don't actually think I'm fat. I just don't think I'm thin." But right now, I'm sitting here and I really do think I look fat so I guess that point is null.
2. I haven't thought about what I would name my child but I've already picked out a name for my future chocolate labrador retriever (Logan).
3. I was an NSYNC fan growing up but now I think BSB albums aged far better
4. Whenever I hear Jason Mraz - The Remedy, I think of Las Vegas because I was walking through Mandalay Bay once when the song came up and it's stuck in my memory
5. My mom once told me that my dad wanted me to go to finishing school and that lowered my opinion of him.
6. I save the best food on my plate for last
7. I look at myself (specifically my stomach) in the mirror about 20+ times a day
8. I have a terrible memory but I'm oddly good at placing quotes and songs from tv shows
9. I kiss up to my friends' parents
10. I had a job last semester analyzing company's SEC forms (basically tax forms) and I still have absolutely no idea what any of it means
11. I don't bother killing spiders in my house
12. I don't think I could spend two hours straight with my family without wishing I was somewhere else
13. I waste a lot of money buying pretty, expensive shoes that I never wear.
14. I assume the bank would never make an error in my checking account even though I know it happens a lot
15. I really miss my mom's chocolate chip cookies but I think she might have forgotten how to make them
16. I don't know how a fax machine works but I find it amazing that someone invented it so long ago, even before the Internet
17. I can't look at Milo Ventimiglia the same way after Chrystal read that he called Alexis Bledel a cunt in public
18. For some reason, I think all Hollywood celebrities are virgins. Even Paris Hilton.
19. But I assume most regular people have sex.
20. For someone who loves to blog, this list was really hard to come up with and not all that rewarding
1. I actually wrote eight things before deleting the post and napping. The first item had been "I don't actually think I'm fat. I just don't think I'm thin." But right now, I'm sitting here and I really do think I look fat so I guess that point is null.
2. I haven't thought about what I would name my child but I've already picked out a name for my future chocolate labrador retriever (Logan).
3. I was an NSYNC fan growing up but now I think BSB albums aged far better
4. Whenever I hear Jason Mraz - The Remedy, I think of Las Vegas because I was walking through Mandalay Bay once when the song came up and it's stuck in my memory
5. My mom once told me that my dad wanted me to go to finishing school and that lowered my opinion of him.
6. I save the best food on my plate for last
7. I look at myself (specifically my stomach) in the mirror about 20+ times a day
8. I have a terrible memory but I'm oddly good at placing quotes and songs from tv shows
9. I kiss up to my friends' parents
10. I had a job last semester analyzing company's SEC forms (basically tax forms) and I still have absolutely no idea what any of it means
11. I don't bother killing spiders in my house
12. I don't think I could spend two hours straight with my family without wishing I was somewhere else
13. I waste a lot of money buying pretty, expensive shoes that I never wear.
14. I assume the bank would never make an error in my checking account even though I know it happens a lot
15. I really miss my mom's chocolate chip cookies but I think she might have forgotten how to make them
16. I don't know how a fax machine works but I find it amazing that someone invented it so long ago, even before the Internet
17. I can't look at Milo Ventimiglia the same way after Chrystal read that he called Alexis Bledel a cunt in public
18. For some reason, I think all Hollywood celebrities are virgins. Even Paris Hilton.
19. But I assume most regular people have sex.
20. For someone who loves to blog, this list was really hard to come up with and not all that rewarding
Please don't punch me in the face
When you read this entry you may be tempted to want to smack me in the head. Or you'll probably roll your eyes, or go WTF at me. But I bet I am not the only one who has thought this before so I'm going to say it anyway. Also, I say a lot of random shit anyway. Why not add more.
I really want to take my Demography class P/NP but I keep getting good grades on things and I have no idea why. I kind of half ass homework and I'm certain that I'll get a 50% or something, but I end up getting close to perfect. It's not that I'm super genius, I think that the GSI just has a weird grading rubric. I didn't really understand the concepts on the midterm, but I got an A because all I had to do was plug in a few numbers into the equations that were on the back of the sheet. All I want is to fail a few assignments and then I can say "YES I'm going to take this P/NP" and be done with it.
But I think I might just take it for a letter grade because the professor was like, if you understand the concepts, it'll just get easier from here on out. If you don't get the concepts, you still have time to catch up. That sounds encouraging. I think I'll spend the weekend rereading the last three chapters of the book. And the crapload of other work I have to do.
I ate a tuna sandwich today and I felt super full afterwards. This was after only eating a bowl of cereal and a banana, and nothing else until 2:30. Usually, I eat a bowl of cereal and then another meal around 1:00 so I was super hungry when I bought it. YES! I think I've successfully shrunken my stomach - as in I don't need to eat as much to get full. The only thing is that now, I feel kind of fat even if I haven't eaten that much. I feel fat now, but that may be because I haven't exercised today. But there's not really much less I can eat without making even myself worried. And when I think I eat too little, that's probably a sign of something. Something that rhymes with dyslexia.
I wish it were 8am. I'd be watching Grey's Anatomy and 30 Rock.
I really want to take my Demography class P/NP but I keep getting good grades on things and I have no idea why. I kind of half ass homework and I'm certain that I'll get a 50% or something, but I end up getting close to perfect. It's not that I'm super genius, I think that the GSI just has a weird grading rubric. I didn't really understand the concepts on the midterm, but I got an A because all I had to do was plug in a few numbers into the equations that were on the back of the sheet. All I want is to fail a few assignments and then I can say "YES I'm going to take this P/NP" and be done with it.
But I think I might just take it for a letter grade because the professor was like, if you understand the concepts, it'll just get easier from here on out. If you don't get the concepts, you still have time to catch up. That sounds encouraging. I think I'll spend the weekend rereading the last three chapters of the book. And the crapload of other work I have to do.
I ate a tuna sandwich today and I felt super full afterwards. This was after only eating a bowl of cereal and a banana, and nothing else until 2:30. Usually, I eat a bowl of cereal and then another meal around 1:00 so I was super hungry when I bought it. YES! I think I've successfully shrunken my stomach - as in I don't need to eat as much to get full. The only thing is that now, I feel kind of fat even if I haven't eaten that much. I feel fat now, but that may be because I haven't exercised today. But there's not really much less I can eat without making even myself worried. And when I think I eat too little, that's probably a sign of something. Something that rhymes with dyslexia.
I wish it were 8am. I'd be watching Grey's Anatomy and 30 Rock.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Sometimes I'm Super-Oblivious
I wanted to spend the morning watching old episodes of the Hills, but I think MTV's website broke down. Bastards. I've rewatched up to episode 2x2 and WOW. If I were the segment producer, I'd be PISSED because first season was rather unexciting and it seems like all the drama went down summer time, when they weren't filming. And they had to update us on everything in a short little "last season on the hills." It's super weird and totally worth it to rewatch episodes of either Laguna Beach or The Hills years later. Friendship lines are redrawn and some quotes have totally different contexts that are hilarious and sometimes you're just sitting there and then you're like "WHOA WHAT?! Is THAT how they met?!" Awesome.
Anyway, part of the reason I love recaps is because when the recapper puts their own opinion into something that happens, I'm like "ohhhhh I see how that works." Like on the last episode of Grey's Anatomy, Derek gives Meredith this huge speech and afterwards I was just kind of like "eh? What's that about? I'll just see what Lauren S says about it in the recap" and I read it and apparently the speech shows that he is "growing." Seriously, I've learned so much about life through hours and hours of reading recaps.
Well a few days ago, I was reading the recap for the Hills. In the episode, Lauren goes on a date with a random guy who seems nice but boring. Even I, half way through the episode, was like "um this guy is so not her type." At the end, she goes home and calls Brody, who she is flirty with but denies having any feelings for. She says to him something along the lines of "I'm going to just watch a movie" and he says "I'll come over. What movie is it?" and she says "Does it really matter?"
Now, I'm naive and my reaction was "AW Brody is so nice! He'd watch anything with her, because he just wants to hang out with her." APPARENTLY, what this is supposed to mean is "Does it really matter? We're just going have sex all night anyway"
WHAT?! I really don't pick up on any of these things. It makes sense when someone lays it out for me, but I were Lauren, I would have been like "What? You said we could watch any movie. What's wrong with Josie and the Pussycats?" I can totally imagine myself when I'm older and someone says "Do you want to come up" at the end of the date and I'd be like "sure why not?" without considering what that's supposed to mean. I remember in the summer we were talking about how guys flirt or something, or what means what and a lot of the things the boys claimed were flirty I was like "WHAT that's being friendly!" I think the only time I'd ever actually get the hint is if some guy tried to put his arm around me or started being really touchy, but in that case, I'd probably just react with "EXCUSE ME. What are you doing? Do you think you possess me? Get your arm off of me before I break it."
Best line I've read today: Ruthie just asks how long it will take so that she can at least let her trainer know. This is why I feel like I'll never be in any danger of working out too much. My general attitude is, "Oh my gosh, a paper cut? That's it, clearly I can't work out until it heals."
[Note: Turns out that the nail polish Lauren was wearing on the date and the nail polish she was wearing while calling Brody are two different colors. So the events occured on different days, and the Brody-calling was probably something they shot later. Everytime I think this show is actually quite realistic, I hear about how fake it is and my heart dies a little inside.]
Anyway, part of the reason I love recaps is because when the recapper puts their own opinion into something that happens, I'm like "ohhhhh I see how that works." Like on the last episode of Grey's Anatomy, Derek gives Meredith this huge speech and afterwards I was just kind of like "eh? What's that about? I'll just see what Lauren S says about it in the recap" and I read it and apparently the speech shows that he is "growing." Seriously, I've learned so much about life through hours and hours of reading recaps.
Well a few days ago, I was reading the recap for the Hills. In the episode, Lauren goes on a date with a random guy who seems nice but boring. Even I, half way through the episode, was like "um this guy is so not her type." At the end, she goes home and calls Brody, who she is flirty with but denies having any feelings for. She says to him something along the lines of "I'm going to just watch a movie" and he says "I'll come over. What movie is it?" and she says "Does it really matter?"
Now, I'm naive and my reaction was "AW Brody is so nice! He'd watch anything with her, because he just wants to hang out with her." APPARENTLY, what this is supposed to mean is "Does it really matter? We're just going have sex all night anyway"
WHAT?! I really don't pick up on any of these things. It makes sense when someone lays it out for me, but I were Lauren, I would have been like "What? You said we could watch any movie. What's wrong with Josie and the Pussycats?" I can totally imagine myself when I'm older and someone says "Do you want to come up" at the end of the date and I'd be like "sure why not?" without considering what that's supposed to mean. I remember in the summer we were talking about how guys flirt or something, or what means what and a lot of the things the boys claimed were flirty I was like "WHAT that's being friendly!" I think the only time I'd ever actually get the hint is if some guy tried to put his arm around me or started being really touchy, but in that case, I'd probably just react with "EXCUSE ME. What are you doing? Do you think you possess me? Get your arm off of me before I break it."
Best line I've read today: Ruthie just asks how long it will take so that she can at least let her trainer know. This is why I feel like I'll never be in any danger of working out too much. My general attitude is, "Oh my gosh, a paper cut? That's it, clearly I can't work out until it heals."
[Note: Turns out that the nail polish Lauren was wearing on the date and the nail polish she was wearing while calling Brody are two different colors. So the events occured on different days, and the Brody-calling was probably something they shot later. Everytime I think this show is actually quite realistic, I hear about how fake it is and my heart dies a little inside.]
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Chocolate is such a bitch to me
Yesterday: OMG I have to lose weight. I can't eat anymore of this chocolate. I'm getting canker sores and I'm already breaking out and my skin just feels like shit. I have to go to the gym tomorrow. I'll even start swimming tomorrow. I definitely won't eat chocolate tomorrow.
Today 8:30: Ech. I'm not hungry in the morning, which means I ate too much at night. Too much CHOCOLATE. I'm going to gym after class. For breakfast, I will have this slice of bread
Today 12:30: Fuck, why is it so hot? I hate it when the sun shines here. I'm not in the mood to gym. Today is going to be a swimming day. I'll just swim tonight at 7:30
Today 6:00: Wow I actually didn't eat very much today! Excellent. All I had was a piece of bread, an apple, a banana, cereal, and a smoothie. As long as I don't eat after swimming, I'll be very happy tonight
Today 7:50: Hmm, I was supposed to go swimming at 7:30 but I ended up watching those videos ... probably not a good idea. And I have to turn that assignment in soon. I should probably just do that
Today 8:10: Well, it's too late to go swimming now. The pool closes at 9:00. I guess I will just go to the gym then and do the elliptical
Today 8:15: One chocolate won't hurt
Today 8:16: Well now that I've eaten one, I have to have two. Or three.
Today 8:25: I need to pee
Today 8:27: Well, since I'm up, I'm going to eat a piece of chocolate
Today 9:00: Ok there's four left. I ate four. That's the serving size. I can't eat anymore
Today 9:15: I want another chocolate ... Well now there's only three left. That won't satisfy me if I eat them tomorrow. I should just eat them all
Today 9:25: FUCK WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?! I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT. SADNESS
Today 11:00: Shit. I can't go to the gym now because I don't have enough time. And I haven't even finished my assignment yet. I hate my life.
I hate you, Costco chocolate box. You are my worst enemy.
Today 8:30: Ech. I'm not hungry in the morning, which means I ate too much at night. Too much CHOCOLATE. I'm going to gym after class. For breakfast, I will have this slice of bread
Today 12:30: Fuck, why is it so hot? I hate it when the sun shines here. I'm not in the mood to gym. Today is going to be a swimming day. I'll just swim tonight at 7:30
Today 6:00: Wow I actually didn't eat very much today! Excellent. All I had was a piece of bread, an apple, a banana, cereal, and a smoothie. As long as I don't eat after swimming, I'll be very happy tonight
Today 7:50: Hmm, I was supposed to go swimming at 7:30 but I ended up watching those videos ... probably not a good idea. And I have to turn that assignment in soon. I should probably just do that
Today 8:10: Well, it's too late to go swimming now. The pool closes at 9:00. I guess I will just go to the gym then and do the elliptical
Today 8:15: One chocolate won't hurt
Today 8:16: Well now that I've eaten one, I have to have two. Or three.
Today 8:25: I need to pee
Today 8:27: Well, since I'm up, I'm going to eat a piece of chocolate
Today 9:00: Ok there's four left. I ate four. That's the serving size. I can't eat anymore
Today 9:15: I want another chocolate ... Well now there's only three left. That won't satisfy me if I eat them tomorrow. I should just eat them all
Today 9:25: FUCK WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?! I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT. SADNESS
Today 11:00: Shit. I can't go to the gym now because I don't have enough time. And I haven't even finished my assignment yet. I hate my life.
I hate you, Costco chocolate box. You are my worst enemy.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
The Sunday After
I was watching old episodes of The Hills and I've found the reason why Audrina dates Justin Bobby. In the episode I was watching, they just had to handle a a photoshoot with male models and she says at dinner,
"The pretty boys are nice to hang out with or whatever ... but they're so boring"
That explains this:
While looking for pictures, I saw some articles where Audrina defends Justin Bobby and says he doesn't really want to be on the show but puts up with the cameras to be with her. UHH ... if you don't want to be on camera, don't sign the release forms then.
I haven't thought about work since Wednesday night, and now I'm at the point where I don't even know WHAT I have to do. I just literally spent this entire day watching tv. Not even shows that I had to catch up on, but reruns. Tons of Friday Night Lights (I even got teary eyed), South of Nowhere (because it came up in conversation yesterday ARGH!) and a few episodes of Gossip Girl because I heard it's actually a GOOD show and not just a guilty pleasure. There are a lot of moments where you think "who edited this?!" or "who let this through script revisions?" but in general, it's surprisingly good. Damn it, another show to add to my list. Also, darn you Blake Lively, for making me want your legs. I never really care about my legs, as long as they don't get muscular, but Blake Lively has impossibly long, thin legs. She has the kind of body where you can pretty much throw any piece of clothing and it would look good on her. And if it doesn't, it's the clothing's fault.
I just ate a bunch of chocolate and now my skin feels kind of icky. I knew I shouldn't have bought a giant box of chocolates. I was at Costco and one of my favorite times of the year is the very first time I go into a Costco and see their holiday aisles set up. This usually happens insanely early in the year, around October, when no one is thinking about the holiday season at all. But every year, the first time I see those aisles full of holiday food, wrapping paper, handmade cards, electric reindeer, and toys, it makes me feel so happy. It's so early in the year that your immediate reaction is not "OH FUCK I have to get presents!" but rather "aww! I remember the holidays last year and it was fun and now I'm getting warm and tingly"
Well, I walked around the aisles and saw all the chocolates they have out. There's one that I want, in a red tin and I think the word crepes is in the name. They're very thin wafers with Belgian chocolate, I think. There's also the giant jars of pistachios, which I used to love until one holiday I just sat and ate so many that now the idea of eating them grosses me out. I walked around the aisle and stared at each box before deciding not to get any because I knew I'd just regret it and I should just not tempt myself in the first place.
Then I ended up walking around alone and I was insanely hungry so in a moment of weakness, I grabbed a box of Kirkland Signature Exquisite Swiss Biscuits and when I found our shopping cart, I just threw them in.
And now I've eaten eight.
They're amazing. A relative gave me a box once, and I scarfed that box down. When I was in Costco, I kept staring at the box because the pictures of the chocolate looked SO FAMILIAR. When I finally placed them, I knew this was THE ONE. I had to have them.
They're probably not the best gift to buy people, just because the brand "Kirkland Signature" doesn't really scream luxury item. You should just buy these for yourself and eat them on those lonely nights when you're watching tv. (What's that you say? I'm the only one who has those moments?) My favorite are the kind that aren't chocolate covered, but seriously, all of them are delicious. They come in a pretty white box, and inside there are four little containers. Be sure to keep the little cardboard wrapper on the outside though, because it becomes this barrier to keep you from eating the entire box in a night. If you eat a few and then package it back together, then you're not as likely to open it again and eat more.
I had that pissy entry earlier but after yesterday, I miss home. I felt sad leaving home, even more so than usual. Part of it was because my friends saw me until the last second I got into the car, and also because this time, I didn't have to go through the hell that is airport security. I'm already waiting for Thanksgiving! Four more weeks.
Craziest part of my trip: The ride home, where we passed by this hill that was ON FIRE. It was insane. I'd seen the smoke from far away but I thought it was sand because I heard there had been sand storms. But we drove closer and realized it was FIRE. I took a few pictures but my camera is total crap so it's not even worth posting. I've lived in SoCal all my life, but I've never really had any experience with wildfires. It's an insane sight to see.
Most delicious thing I ate over the weekend: Meal wise, the chicken pomodori that I wrote about. Oh shit, I deleted that entry. Well, I'm talking about the panini from Corner Bakery Cafe. Dessert wise, this crepe from the new Japanese dessert cafe in the shopping center with Sinbala. I now have cravings for crepes
Best reaction to my ear piercing that I've managed to keep a secret for a month and a half: My mom. I had forgotten that I hadn't shown her, so I was sitting in the dentist, reading Vogue when all of a sudden my mom exclaims in Chinese: "OH MY GOD. WHAT IS THAT?! WHEN DID YOU GET THAT DONE?!" This lady waiting to be called was watching, and I was responding in English, so I wonder how she slowly figured out what was going on and why this little chinese lady was talking so loudly and staring at her daughter's ear. Actually, everyone's reaction was awesome. I kind of wish I had filmed it. It also makes me want another piercing, so when Thanksgiving rolls around, I can shock some more people. It makes me laugh to think of everyone's thought process when they first saw it. "What is different about Meltang? Why am I staring at her ear? Is there something different about her ear? There shouldn't be ... it's an ear ... is that? WHAT? WHAT IS THAT IN HER EAR"
"The pretty boys are nice to hang out with or whatever ... but they're so boring"
That explains this:
While looking for pictures, I saw some articles where Audrina defends Justin Bobby and says he doesn't really want to be on the show but puts up with the cameras to be with her. UHH ... if you don't want to be on camera, don't sign the release forms then.I haven't thought about work since Wednesday night, and now I'm at the point where I don't even know WHAT I have to do. I just literally spent this entire day watching tv. Not even shows that I had to catch up on, but reruns. Tons of Friday Night Lights (I even got teary eyed), South of Nowhere (because it came up in conversation yesterday ARGH!) and a few episodes of Gossip Girl because I heard it's actually a GOOD show and not just a guilty pleasure. There are a lot of moments where you think "who edited this?!" or "who let this through script revisions?" but in general, it's surprisingly good. Damn it, another show to add to my list. Also, darn you Blake Lively, for making me want your legs. I never really care about my legs, as long as they don't get muscular, but Blake Lively has impossibly long, thin legs. She has the kind of body where you can pretty much throw any piece of clothing and it would look good on her. And if it doesn't, it's the clothing's fault.
I just ate a bunch of chocolate and now my skin feels kind of icky. I knew I shouldn't have bought a giant box of chocolates. I was at Costco and one of my favorite times of the year is the very first time I go into a Costco and see their holiday aisles set up. This usually happens insanely early in the year, around October, when no one is thinking about the holiday season at all. But every year, the first time I see those aisles full of holiday food, wrapping paper, handmade cards, electric reindeer, and toys, it makes me feel so happy. It's so early in the year that your immediate reaction is not "OH FUCK I have to get presents!" but rather "aww! I remember the holidays last year and it was fun and now I'm getting warm and tingly"Well, I walked around the aisles and saw all the chocolates they have out. There's one that I want, in a red tin and I think the word crepes is in the name. They're very thin wafers with Belgian chocolate, I think. There's also the giant jars of pistachios, which I used to love until one holiday I just sat and ate so many that now the idea of eating them grosses me out. I walked around the aisle and stared at each box before deciding not to get any because I knew I'd just regret it and I should just not tempt myself in the first place.
Then I ended up walking around alone and I was insanely hungry so in a moment of weakness, I grabbed a box of Kirkland Signature Exquisite Swiss Biscuits and when I found our shopping cart, I just threw them in.
And now I've eaten eight.
They're amazing. A relative gave me a box once, and I scarfed that box down. When I was in Costco, I kept staring at the box because the pictures of the chocolate looked SO FAMILIAR. When I finally placed them, I knew this was THE ONE. I had to have them.
They're probably not the best gift to buy people, just because the brand "Kirkland Signature" doesn't really scream luxury item. You should just buy these for yourself and eat them on those lonely nights when you're watching tv. (What's that you say? I'm the only one who has those moments?) My favorite are the kind that aren't chocolate covered, but seriously, all of them are delicious. They come in a pretty white box, and inside there are four little containers. Be sure to keep the little cardboard wrapper on the outside though, because it becomes this barrier to keep you from eating the entire box in a night. If you eat a few and then package it back together, then you're not as likely to open it again and eat more.I had that pissy entry earlier but after yesterday, I miss home. I felt sad leaving home, even more so than usual. Part of it was because my friends saw me until the last second I got into the car, and also because this time, I didn't have to go through the hell that is airport security. I'm already waiting for Thanksgiving! Four more weeks.
Craziest part of my trip: The ride home, where we passed by this hill that was ON FIRE. It was insane. I'd seen the smoke from far away but I thought it was sand because I heard there had been sand storms. But we drove closer and realized it was FIRE. I took a few pictures but my camera is total crap so it's not even worth posting. I've lived in SoCal all my life, but I've never really had any experience with wildfires. It's an insane sight to see.
Most delicious thing I ate over the weekend: Meal wise, the chicken pomodori that I wrote about. Oh shit, I deleted that entry. Well, I'm talking about the panini from Corner Bakery Cafe. Dessert wise, this crepe from the new Japanese dessert cafe in the shopping center with Sinbala. I now have cravings for crepes
Best reaction to my ear piercing that I've managed to keep a secret for a month and a half: My mom. I had forgotten that I hadn't shown her, so I was sitting in the dentist, reading Vogue when all of a sudden my mom exclaims in Chinese: "OH MY GOD. WHAT IS THAT?! WHEN DID YOU GET THAT DONE?!" This lady waiting to be called was watching, and I was responding in English, so I wonder how she slowly figured out what was going on and why this little chinese lady was talking so loudly and staring at her daughter's ear. Actually, everyone's reaction was awesome. I kind of wish I had filmed it. It also makes me want another piercing, so when Thanksgiving rolls around, I can shock some more people. It makes me laugh to think of everyone's thought process when they first saw it. "What is different about Meltang? Why am I staring at her ear? Is there something different about her ear? There shouldn't be ... it's an ear ... is that? WHAT? WHAT IS THAT IN HER EAR"
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Just because I hate pissy little entries at the top
Mom: Oh my gosh, you've bought so many clothes. If you grow to not like one, don't throw them away! You have to give them to me.
Yesterday night, my mom comes over to speak to me, and I look over and she is wearing my SHORT SHORTS. I think I wore them in MIDDLE SCHOOL. I finally decided to stop wearing them in the summer, and although it's pretty amazing that I could squeeze into them, the result was beyond unflattering. They'd give me a huge muffin top, and I didn't realize until a few weeks into summer that I really wasn't that fat, it's just that there's no reason why a then-18 year old should be fitting into the clothes she wore as a 7th grader. Anyway, I pretty much reacted with a "OMG YOU CANNOT BE WEARING THAT. YOU ARE TOO OLD" and she was like "what?! This fits me! I'm just going to wear this around the house anyway." She'd wear anything without holes in it. And even then, she'd just say "well I can just wear it around the house."
Another cute thing ... there's only one toothpaste that I like to use and that's Crest with Scope. You can buy a four pack at Costco! The dentist gives out little free sample ones, and I like to take them on trips because if I don't use that toothpaste, I feel like my mouth is unclean. Well, yesterday morning, I wake up and find that my dad has put out a tiny little bottle of Crest toothpaste. AWW!
I woke up today and HATED my hair. It looks so stereotypical Chinese girl. Damn you straight bangs! I look like Julie Taylor/Aimee Teegarden from Friday Night Lights. I never liked her hair, just because of my bias against straight bangs, but I guess people like it, judging from comments I see on twop. It doesn't look good on me though, at least I think so.
Time to go to the dentist! Then Costco, then eating some Chinese food X__X Sometimes I just hate to come home because I feel obligated to eat all this food. And when I don't eat tons of my mom's cooking, she acts like I didn't like it or it was not tasty, when really, I just don't want to get fat. I think when I get home, the first thing I will do is go to the gym. And then I might start swimming starting Sunday!
Yesterday night, my mom comes over to speak to me, and I look over and she is wearing my SHORT SHORTS. I think I wore them in MIDDLE SCHOOL. I finally decided to stop wearing them in the summer, and although it's pretty amazing that I could squeeze into them, the result was beyond unflattering. They'd give me a huge muffin top, and I didn't realize until a few weeks into summer that I really wasn't that fat, it's just that there's no reason why a then-18 year old should be fitting into the clothes she wore as a 7th grader. Anyway, I pretty much reacted with a "OMG YOU CANNOT BE WEARING THAT. YOU ARE TOO OLD" and she was like "what?! This fits me! I'm just going to wear this around the house anyway." She'd wear anything without holes in it. And even then, she'd just say "well I can just wear it around the house."
Another cute thing ... there's only one toothpaste that I like to use and that's Crest with Scope. You can buy a four pack at Costco! The dentist gives out little free sample ones, and I like to take them on trips because if I don't use that toothpaste, I feel like my mouth is unclean. Well, yesterday morning, I wake up and find that my dad has put out a tiny little bottle of Crest toothpaste. AWW!I woke up today and HATED my hair. It looks so stereotypical Chinese girl. Damn you straight bangs! I look like Julie Taylor/Aimee Teegarden from Friday Night Lights. I never liked her hair, just because of my bias against straight bangs, but I guess people like it, judging from comments I see on twop. It doesn't look good on me though, at least I think so.
Time to go to the dentist! Then Costco, then eating some Chinese food X__X Sometimes I just hate to come home because I feel obligated to eat all this food. And when I don't eat tons of my mom's cooking, she acts like I didn't like it or it was not tasty, when really, I just don't want to get fat. I think when I get home, the first thing I will do is go to the gym. And then I might start swimming starting Sunday!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
I hate Thursdays because there's too much to love
Advice: when there's three different shows simultaneously playing and you want to watch all three, just stick to ONE and watch the rest online. If you try to watch multiple shows at the same time, you WILL miss a few minutes here and there, which will just make you have to rewatch ALL of the shows anyway. I'm sitting here waiting for it to hit midnight so I can watch Grey's online. I'm not even sure if that's when they put up the episode. I vaguely remember last year that they put up new episodes at 2am or something. It's really sad that I know that fact.
As I watched a few minutes of Grey's here and there, I realized that Meredith's sister is extremely pretty. I can't think of her name at all. (Lexie) And I don't think I've ever known her real name. (Chyler Leigh) IMDB time! Either I never really noticed until now, or they upped her makeup. None of the pictures that I can find really do her justice.
From 8-8:30, there's nothing I really want to watch, but I was bored out of my mind so I watched Survivor. It got me hooked and I ended up missing parts of 30 Rock. Damn you Survivor. One tribe decided to throw a challenge so that they could keep the majority and you can tell Jeff Probst got annoyed. I read in some recaps that he gets really pissy about contestants giving up. There were a lot of hilarious one-liners in the episode. First, know that Jean-Robert is this guy that everyone absolutely hates.
Courtney: Go Jean-Robert! (to another contestant) It broke my heart a little to say that.
The other one I loved isn't funny typed out. You have to watch it. I'll be on the lookout for a clip.
There's one guy on Survivor who is giant and extremely muscular. As in, I think he has a 12pack. He wears what looks like designer underwear and when he walks around, I feel like I'm watching some weird Calvin Klein underwear ad. When he does interviews, and they have his name and occupation on the side, I always expect it to say James - Model. Instead, it says James - Gravedigger. It's really baffling.
There's also another girl who is INCREDIBLY thin. It's really freaky, considering that this is what she looks like ON CAMERA. I can't imagine what she would look like in person. You can see her spine. And a lot of other bones that probably should not be seen. I looked at her bio on cbs.com and she actually addresses her body size, as if she anticipated accusations of anorexia.
My stomach is in pain, I think because I ate hot, spicy food and right after, I ate a popsicle. Also, this computer has the red squiggly lines as I type, and I've realized that a lot of words that I use aren't actually words.
As I watched a few minutes of Grey's here and there, I realized that Meredith's sister is extremely pretty. I can't think of her name at all. (Lexie) And I don't think I've ever known her real name. (Chyler Leigh) IMDB time! Either I never really noticed until now, or they upped her makeup. None of the pictures that I can find really do her justice.
From 8-8:30, there's nothing I really want to watch, but I was bored out of my mind so I watched Survivor. It got me hooked and I ended up missing parts of 30 Rock. Damn you Survivor. One tribe decided to throw a challenge so that they could keep the majority and you can tell Jeff Probst got annoyed. I read in some recaps that he gets really pissy about contestants giving up. There were a lot of hilarious one-liners in the episode. First, know that Jean-Robert is this guy that everyone absolutely hates.
Courtney: Go Jean-Robert! (to another contestant) It broke my heart a little to say that.
The other one I loved isn't funny typed out. You have to watch it. I'll be on the lookout for a clip.
There's one guy on Survivor who is giant and extremely muscular. As in, I think he has a 12pack. He wears what looks like designer underwear and when he walks around, I feel like I'm watching some weird Calvin Klein underwear ad. When he does interviews, and they have his name and occupation on the side, I always expect it to say James - Model. Instead, it says James - Gravedigger. It's really baffling.
There's also another girl who is INCREDIBLY thin. It's really freaky, considering that this is what she looks like ON CAMERA. I can't imagine what she would look like in person. You can see her spine. And a lot of other bones that probably should not be seen. I looked at her bio on cbs.com and she actually addresses her body size, as if she anticipated accusations of anorexia.
My stomach is in pain, I think because I ate hot, spicy food and right after, I ate a popsicle. Also, this computer has the red squiggly lines as I type, and I've realized that a lot of words that I use aren't actually words.
I feel like I've broken into someone's home
The Perishers - Best Friends
I'm home! Although I actually call Berkeley my home. The house I grew up in just feels like a really familiar hotel now. Wow, that sounds really sad. I set my alarm for 7:30, which is the earliest I've woken up in a while. I thought my schedule would be really tight, but I ended up doing everything that I wanted. Which included washing a giant bag of grapes for about 15 minutes in the bathroom sink. We were supposed to leave at 9:30 and we ended up leaving around 9:45 which was really surprisingly on schedule. Apparently, last time they planned on leaving at 1 and actually left at 5.
The ride was surprisingly fast. Every time I drive up/down, I'm always really surprised by how short the trip is. Although maybe it's because I am always the passenger, and I typically end up sleeping the entire time. But when we took the exit to PCC (where Erica was going to take me home), part of me was just like "WHAT?! We're in socal?!" It really felt like we had just zipped on over to Costco or something.
HEHE My mom just came home. This whole time I've been wondering how I would "surprise" her. I thought just standing in the hallway and waiting for her to open the door would be really scary. My mom's routine is to park the car in the garage, unlock the house door without opening it, and then getting the mail before going in. So I heard the car door close and I opened the door and went "SURPRISE!" and she looked at me with an initial "wtf? Who is that in my house" and then happiness.
Now we're going to eat Korean BBQ at the new restaurant near Super A. I kind of wanted sushi, but I suppose I could eat sushi anytime in Berkeley. I'm also not in the mood to look at a giant list of sushi and decide what I want. I looked in our fridge, and there's a bunch of frozen Marie Callendar's Chicken Pot Pies. I really want one. I went on a feeding rampage at school yesterday and ate a shitload of pot pie that wasn't even the kind that I really wanted. Of course, I do this right before I go home and now my stomach is not flat. Sometimes, I really wonder why my brain likes to sabotage myself. Time to eat!
I'm back! The restaurant is brand new and at first we were two of four people eating. Then a lot more people came in. It's where Chef's Kitchen used to be, only now it's pretty. I kind of dislike the sign on their building. It's yellow, and I hate yellow lighted signs because it makes the establishment look really dingy. Otherwise, the people are very attentive, and they even give you extra sides if you finish eating them. I'd eat here again when winter rolls around.
Eek! I completely forgot when I greeted my mom, but the car she is driving is going to be mine! Wow, that's how much our relationship has changed in a few short months. Before it probably would have been like "hi mom" (obligatory) while really thinking "my car! my car!" When she first bought it, she said it would be mine. Then I said "you mean I can drive it up next year?" and she gave me a pretty adamant "NO. I meant you can drive it around Arcadia, but you're not driving it up to norcal." But I've kept saying that if I had a car, it would be much easier to find a job, and now she has caved and says that I can take it. SCORE. I love it. The color is so pretty. It's this color called black.
Mom: There is mooncake in the fridge
Me: I can't eat that! I'm so fat
Mom: I didn't say to eat it today. You can eat it tomorrow
My interpretation: Yes, you are fat.
Me: Did I gain weight?
Mom: (hesitates) No you look fine
Me: You're lying! Do you think I've gained weight since summer?
Mom: No, you look the same
My interpretation: She thinks I did. What a liar. Or else she thought I was fat in the summer too
I'm home! Although I actually call Berkeley my home. The house I grew up in just feels like a really familiar hotel now. Wow, that sounds really sad. I set my alarm for 7:30, which is the earliest I've woken up in a while. I thought my schedule would be really tight, but I ended up doing everything that I wanted. Which included washing a giant bag of grapes for about 15 minutes in the bathroom sink. We were supposed to leave at 9:30 and we ended up leaving around 9:45 which was really surprisingly on schedule. Apparently, last time they planned on leaving at 1 and actually left at 5.
The ride was surprisingly fast. Every time I drive up/down, I'm always really surprised by how short the trip is. Although maybe it's because I am always the passenger, and I typically end up sleeping the entire time. But when we took the exit to PCC (where Erica was going to take me home), part of me was just like "WHAT?! We're in socal?!" It really felt like we had just zipped on over to Costco or something.
HEHE My mom just came home. This whole time I've been wondering how I would "surprise" her. I thought just standing in the hallway and waiting for her to open the door would be really scary. My mom's routine is to park the car in the garage, unlock the house door without opening it, and then getting the mail before going in. So I heard the car door close and I opened the door and went "SURPRISE!" and she looked at me with an initial "wtf? Who is that in my house" and then happiness.
Now we're going to eat Korean BBQ at the new restaurant near Super A. I kind of wanted sushi, but I suppose I could eat sushi anytime in Berkeley. I'm also not in the mood to look at a giant list of sushi and decide what I want. I looked in our fridge, and there's a bunch of frozen Marie Callendar's Chicken Pot Pies. I really want one. I went on a feeding rampage at school yesterday and ate a shitload of pot pie that wasn't even the kind that I really wanted. Of course, I do this right before I go home and now my stomach is not flat. Sometimes, I really wonder why my brain likes to sabotage myself. Time to eat!
I'm back! The restaurant is brand new and at first we were two of four people eating. Then a lot more people came in. It's where Chef's Kitchen used to be, only now it's pretty. I kind of dislike the sign on their building. It's yellow, and I hate yellow lighted signs because it makes the establishment look really dingy. Otherwise, the people are very attentive, and they even give you extra sides if you finish eating them. I'd eat here again when winter rolls around.
Eek! I completely forgot when I greeted my mom, but the car she is driving is going to be mine! Wow, that's how much our relationship has changed in a few short months. Before it probably would have been like "hi mom" (obligatory) while really thinking "my car! my car!" When she first bought it, she said it would be mine. Then I said "you mean I can drive it up next year?" and she gave me a pretty adamant "NO. I meant you can drive it around Arcadia, but you're not driving it up to norcal." But I've kept saying that if I had a car, it would be much easier to find a job, and now she has caved and says that I can take it. SCORE. I love it. The color is so pretty. It's this color called black.Mom: There is mooncake in the fridge
Me: I can't eat that! I'm so fat
Mom: I didn't say to eat it today. You can eat it tomorrow
My interpretation: Yes, you are fat.
Me: Did I gain weight?
Mom: (hesitates) No you look fine
Me: You're lying! Do you think I've gained weight since summer?
Mom: No, you look the same
My interpretation: She thinks I did. What a liar. Or else she thought I was fat in the summer too
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Pet Peeve #1
I finally went to the gym (yay!) but I feel still feel fat (b00). I did the elliptical because none of the treadmills were open. About 5 minutes in, this fairly large guy in a blue shirt got on the elliptical next to me. And he started pedaling backwards. Really quickly. FIRST of all, the elliptical goes FORWARD. Ok, I understand that you can go backwards for a little bit to stretch out other muscles or to give your muscles a break. I do it as a cool down for about 30 seconds. But you don't do it for your ENTIRE workout. You just look ridiculous. SECOND, if you are going THAT quickly on the elliptical, it's because you need to raise your resistance. It doesn't do anything when you are basically just waving your legs around. Separately, both of these somewhat annoy me. But put together, it just looks so stupid that I HAVE to blog about it right after I return from the gym. After about 10 minutes, he stopped and went to the restroom. And when he came out, he got on another elliptical and proceeded to do the exact same thing AGAIN. Jesus.
It's probably bitches like me that make people feel intimidated to go to the gym for the first time. I don't know how to do anything either, but at least I can look around and see that, yes, everyone's feet go THIS way on the elliptical.
It's probably bitches like me that make people feel intimidated to go to the gym for the first time. I don't know how to do anything either, but at least I can look around and see that, yes, everyone's feet go THIS way on the elliptical.
Delicious Cereal
I think there's only three things that I ever eat in the day without feeling terrible, no matter how much I eat.
1. Fruit - bananas, grapes, strawberries, which are ridiculously overpriced at our fruit stand but it's also the only way I can use up mealpoints (besides Odwalla purchases). I also love fuji apples, pink lady apples (which I bought because Frances raved about them somewhere), grapefruit, mangos, watermelon, and oranges. Although I never buy the last four because I don't know how to cut them or I don't know how to choose them. I'm still a big pampered baby.
2. Odwalla - Yum. I love having a giant bottle of Superfood in my fridge. It makes my life feel much more luxurious. It's not something that I can have normally, because I would not spend actual money on this. When I have a career (not merely a job) I would stock my fridge with Odwalla. Otherwise, it's too expensive. Superfood is delicious although it looks like sludge. Toxic sludge. Drink the Super Protein Green Tea after you gym - that way you're so hungry that the weird taste doesn't really matter, and it helps your muscles rebuild. This is one of those brands where I feel like they could never go wrong (other brands that also fit this category include Dreyers, Clif Bars, H&M clothing, and shows on Sho)
3. Cereal - Best breakfast food! It feels healthy, as long as you're not buying Frosted Flakes or Cinnamon Toast Crunch or anything like that. You get a serving of milk, and it usually doesn't fill you up too much. I used to pour cereal first, then milk. But in the summer I got paranoid that I was eating more cereal than I intended, so now I'm used to pouring milk and then cereal. My favorite is Honey Bunches of Oats, but I just bought a box of Honey Nut Cheerios and they are DELICIOUS. I remember not liking them as a kid. I used to eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch as a kid, but I think my stomach would turn now if I saw how much sugar was leftover in my milk. I'm kind of hoping that I start eating tons of bland foods and I begin to think that regular Cheerios are delicious. Kind of like that time last year when I thought spinach leaves with no dressing were really tasty.
For all other foods, I feel pretty guilty eating them. It's very depressing. I'd add salads to the list, but I don't eat them often enough. I think I might end up like one of those old people who don't eat anything except a very set list of foods, and get ornery when someone tries to change their schedule. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME. TRYING TO KILL ME? I CAN'T EAT THAT! MY CHOLESTEROL WILL GO UP! GET OUT OF HERE"
I have not yet gymmed and I could be going now. Actually, I could have gone an hour ago. I'm super lazy right now. I think I need to be shocked back onto the elliptical. As in, I take one look at myself and feel like I'm so fat that I start living in the gym.
1. Fruit - bananas, grapes, strawberries, which are ridiculously overpriced at our fruit stand but it's also the only way I can use up mealpoints (besides Odwalla purchases). I also love fuji apples, pink lady apples (which I bought because Frances raved about them somewhere), grapefruit, mangos, watermelon, and oranges. Although I never buy the last four because I don't know how to cut them or I don't know how to choose them. I'm still a big pampered baby.
2. Odwalla - Yum. I love having a giant bottle of Superfood in my fridge. It makes my life feel much more luxurious. It's not something that I can have normally, because I would not spend actual money on this. When I have a career (not merely a job) I would stock my fridge with Odwalla. Otherwise, it's too expensive. Superfood is delicious although it looks like sludge. Toxic sludge. Drink the Super Protein Green Tea after you gym - that way you're so hungry that the weird taste doesn't really matter, and it helps your muscles rebuild. This is one of those brands where I feel like they could never go wrong (other brands that also fit this category include Dreyers, Clif Bars, H&M clothing, and shows on Sho)
3. Cereal - Best breakfast food! It feels healthy, as long as you're not buying Frosted Flakes or Cinnamon Toast Crunch or anything like that. You get a serving of milk, and it usually doesn't fill you up too much. I used to pour cereal first, then milk. But in the summer I got paranoid that I was eating more cereal than I intended, so now I'm used to pouring milk and then cereal. My favorite is Honey Bunches of Oats, but I just bought a box of Honey Nut Cheerios and they are DELICIOUS. I remember not liking them as a kid. I used to eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch as a kid, but I think my stomach would turn now if I saw how much sugar was leftover in my milk. I'm kind of hoping that I start eating tons of bland foods and I begin to think that regular Cheerios are delicious. Kind of like that time last year when I thought spinach leaves with no dressing were really tasty.
For all other foods, I feel pretty guilty eating them. It's very depressing. I'd add salads to the list, but I don't eat them often enough. I think I might end up like one of those old people who don't eat anything except a very set list of foods, and get ornery when someone tries to change their schedule. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME. TRYING TO KILL ME? I CAN'T EAT THAT! MY CHOLESTEROL WILL GO UP! GET OUT OF HERE"
I have not yet gymmed and I could be going now. Actually, I could have gone an hour ago. I'm super lazy right now. I think I need to be shocked back onto the elliptical. As in, I take one look at myself and feel like I'm so fat that I start living in the gym.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
I'm very confused
I'm not quite sure what happened ... but I just took a nap. And it went far longer than I intended. I think I went to sleep around 8:30 and when I woke up it was 11:10. All I know is I took some poems to read, and I didn't understand a single one. Whereever you are, Ted Berringan, I curse you. I'm pretty sure I intended to wake up before 9:30, because I wanted to watch the Girls Next Door. Now I'm kind of at a lost as to what to do, because part of me wants to watch tv but there's nothing on. Also, now I'm really disoriented because people don't nap until 11! If you're going to wake up at 11, you might as well just hold out and then sleep AT 11 and not mess up your circadian rhythms.
Waking up at 11 also means I won't be able to gym. AGAIN. In a consecutive day. OMG WTF why is it that the time I REALLY need to gym, right before I go home, I end up NOT GYMMING?! I'm pretty sure it's my subconscious trying to sabotage my fragile self image. I cannot fail to go to the gym tomorrow morning. OMG I actually won't be able to - I have to pick up club sweatshirts. ARGHHHH. This week is turning out to be really shitty. I think I'll just wake up at 7 and go gymming.
I think I've seriously turned into one of those people who HAVE to gym or their entire schedule, mood and state of mind is ruined. Honestly, whenever I skip out on gymming, I feel ultra guilty about it for an hour. And then throughout the day, I'll kind of tell myself that my body hasn't gotten any larger. But the second that I realize I CAN'T gym for the rest of the day, and that I have missed out on a day of gymming, my body image goes WAY down. I look in the mirror and I'm like "WHAT IS THIS?" Is this some kind of psychological illness?
Daily media...
KRISTEN BELL on Heroes next week! I have to admit Heroes isn't really good this season. Really boring story lines, terrible special effects (except for the toe thing), too many characters with superpowers. Seriously, it's nice that people have superpowers but does EVERY FREAKING character need one? It'd be interesting if there were some more normal people thrown into the mix. Not that I'm discriminating against people with powers...
I think I'd watch this show for another season and a half, at this quality. I'd only watch this much because I loved the first season so much. But I think I might actually stop if Sylar kills Kristen Bell. I don't think I could take the sight of that. I can't wait for scenes with Kristen Bell and Hayden Panettiere. I am going to be all over that screencap. My two favorite television blondes!
After writing the first few paragraphs of this blog, I was like "oh no how will I tag this?" but now I realize that just about EVERY single blog I'll ever write will have either Fatness or TV as a tag. Maybe I need to spice things up.
I really want an ice cream sandwich. Which would violate rules "don't eat past 10," "don't eat desserts," "don't eat ice cream," "don't eat too much on days you don't exercise" and "don't be a fatass please."
FINALLY, I want the new album by The Perishers and the album containing songs that I would like by Jude. Jude is a really hard band to download music for, because all the results you'll ever get are Hey Jude by The Beatles. I hate it when bands have names like that.
Waking up at 11 also means I won't be able to gym. AGAIN. In a consecutive day. OMG WTF why is it that the time I REALLY need to gym, right before I go home, I end up NOT GYMMING?! I'm pretty sure it's my subconscious trying to sabotage my fragile self image. I cannot fail to go to the gym tomorrow morning. OMG I actually won't be able to - I have to pick up club sweatshirts. ARGHHHH. This week is turning out to be really shitty. I think I'll just wake up at 7 and go gymming.
I think I've seriously turned into one of those people who HAVE to gym or their entire schedule, mood and state of mind is ruined. Honestly, whenever I skip out on gymming, I feel ultra guilty about it for an hour. And then throughout the day, I'll kind of tell myself that my body hasn't gotten any larger. But the second that I realize I CAN'T gym for the rest of the day, and that I have missed out on a day of gymming, my body image goes WAY down. I look in the mirror and I'm like "WHAT IS THIS?" Is this some kind of psychological illness?
Daily media...
KRISTEN BELL on Heroes next week! I have to admit Heroes isn't really good this season. Really boring story lines, terrible special effects (except for the toe thing), too many characters with superpowers. Seriously, it's nice that people have superpowers but does EVERY FREAKING character need one? It'd be interesting if there were some more normal people thrown into the mix. Not that I'm discriminating against people with powers...
I think I'd watch this show for another season and a half, at this quality. I'd only watch this much because I loved the first season so much. But I think I might actually stop if Sylar kills Kristen Bell. I don't think I could take the sight of that. I can't wait for scenes with Kristen Bell and Hayden Panettiere. I am going to be all over that screencap. My two favorite television blondes!
After writing the first few paragraphs of this blog, I was like "oh no how will I tag this?" but now I realize that just about EVERY single blog I'll ever write will have either Fatness or TV as a tag. Maybe I need to spice things up.I really want an ice cream sandwich. Which would violate rules "don't eat past 10," "don't eat desserts," "don't eat ice cream," "don't eat too much on days you don't exercise" and "don't be a fatass please."
FINALLY, I want the new album by The Perishers and the album containing songs that I would like by Jude. Jude is a really hard band to download music for, because all the results you'll ever get are Hey Jude by The Beatles. I hate it when bands have names like that.
Monday, October 15, 2007
I hate you, tuna sandwich
Today is really not my day. Nothing particulary terrible happened, but things just didn't go well. This is a pretty shit start to the week. I feel like I always start my Mondays off poorly, but by Wednesday I just forget about it so it doesn't really matter. Which is another example of why my poor memory comes in handy sometimes. Anyway...
8:30 - I wake up and start stressing about a ton of different little things. My hair feels disgustingly gross because I haven't washed it in a few days, and I'm planning to wash it after I gym. This just means that I have to endure an hour of feeling like I can't look at anyone in the eye, because my hair is just so dirty
9:20 - I go to the gym 20 minutes later than usual. Thankfully, there are still ellipticals open.
10:30 - I have one of the most glorious showers ever. I put so much shampoo on. Note: I HATE garnier shampoo. I bought a regular sized bottle before I left for college because I always thought that it smelled really good. Thank GOD I didn't buy the costco sized bottle because this shampoo SUCKS. It doesn't lather very well, and you have to squeeze out a TON in order to feel like it works at all. I want to go back to Herbal Essences, but it'll probably take me the entire year to finish this bottle.
11:00 - Even though I don't really want to, I eat a bowl of cereal. I think I should have gone with yogurt or fruit. Mistake #1 Puffins cereal is not my kind of cereal.
12:00 - Economics.
1:00 - I walk to the Statistics library to do homework. I forget to bring the paper that I use for homework, so I don't put much effort in it. I sit next to this girl who constantly makes the most terrifying, loud coughs. I can't even remember it anymore, but it was pretty annoying
2:00 - I decide to go to the earlier demography section. Even though I KNEW it would rain today, I didn't bring an umbrella. I end up getting extremely soaked
3:00 - The rain has stopped. Which means if I had gone home at the usual time and gone to section at my usual time, I would not have even gotten wet. I wait in line to buy a tuna sandwich. Even though I KNOW this is more than enough, I can't wait to eat so I also buy a scone that I can eat as I walk home
3:30 - I finish eating my scone AND my tuna sandwich. I feel like barfing
4:00 - I nap in my bed. INSTEAD of going to my computer science lecture
5:00 - I wake up ... when my class would have ended. I stay in bed and finish reading Fried Green Tomatoes. Throughout this 400 page book, I've only been able to identify 3 characters. I have no idea what the relations between all the OTHER characters are, but I've somehow managed to finish the entire book without knowing. I still think it's a good book, but I think I would have liked it more if I actually knew who was who
5:20 - I finally get out of bed after lying in it for 10 minutes just staring blankly at my room. I don't want to get up because I know the first thing I will do is look at myself in the mirror and see that my gigantic stomach.
5:31 - I feel immediately depressed because my stomach is gigantic and I still feel like barfing out my food. I seriously consider this option. But I never will because I once puked after consuming a crap load of macaroons and alcohol, and the satisfaction I had was a little scary
5:35 - I watch my computer science lecture webcast. Which is when I find out that the ONE TIME I ditch class, they have people fill out course evaluations, which is how they are going to give participation points. THE ONE TIME. GOD. I never even ditch class EVER. I'd be more pissed if I really cared but I'm kind of apathetic towards school lately
6:00 - I watch a bunch of episodes of Laguna Beach. When you skip all the non-Lauren parts (aka the actually interesting parts) you're not left with very much. It's very weird to rewatch the first season several years later. I think the first time I watched it, I thought "Why is Lauren Conrad even in this? She's not even in Kristin's group" but now I'm like "IDIOTS! Why aren't you on your hands and knees serving Lauren? She is your paycheck and door to fame"
7:30 - I want to post a new blog but Blogger is down.
8:00 - I turn on the TV to watch How I Met Your Mother. I unknowingly turn it onto FOX, and when the Cops theme song comes on I go WTF and realize that I've missed the first few minutes of HIMYM. Which slightly pisses me off. I end up half watching and half working on demography homework, which is LAME because I think this episode was really good and I should have just given it my full attention.
8:30 - Instead of doing my laundry, I write this blog. I now have NO underwear unless I do laundry after Heroes. Sigh. I guess I will.
I still feel insanely full from the tuna sandwich and scone.
I think whenever I'm about to go home, I stress about having to get thinner which only makes me fatter. Which then makes me sad. It also gives me pimples, which then makes me even uglier, which then makes me not want to take pictures and now I have no good, current pictures of myself. What a vicious cycle.
I'm watching Heroes right now ... and WTF didn't Nathan Petrelli get voted as mayor? How is he allowed to become a drunk and grow a hobo beard if he's the mayor? Also, I really think that whenever they talk about their powers, it's just gay subtext. HAHA Always talking about how abnormal they feel and how it's hard to keep secrets. Heroes also has some REALLY SHITTY cgi going on. You'd think they'd have more money but the green screen is FUCKING OBVIOUS. UGH.
I can't believe my school week is ending in two days! Most of me is super lazy and is just waiting for the weekend to come. A small part of me, which is really the past me, emerges sometimes and goes "WHAT ARE YOU DOING! You have so much work to do! You should be doing next week's work so you don't have to do anything when you get back! You can't be watching tv all day! Get on your ass!" And then that part is forgotten when I turn on the tv.
8:30 - I wake up and start stressing about a ton of different little things. My hair feels disgustingly gross because I haven't washed it in a few days, and I'm planning to wash it after I gym. This just means that I have to endure an hour of feeling like I can't look at anyone in the eye, because my hair is just so dirty
9:20 - I go to the gym 20 minutes later than usual. Thankfully, there are still ellipticals open.
10:30 - I have one of the most glorious showers ever. I put so much shampoo on. Note: I HATE garnier shampoo. I bought a regular sized bottle before I left for college because I always thought that it smelled really good. Thank GOD I didn't buy the costco sized bottle because this shampoo SUCKS. It doesn't lather very well, and you have to squeeze out a TON in order to feel like it works at all. I want to go back to Herbal Essences, but it'll probably take me the entire year to finish this bottle.
11:00 - Even though I don't really want to, I eat a bowl of cereal. I think I should have gone with yogurt or fruit. Mistake #1 Puffins cereal is not my kind of cereal.12:00 - Economics.
1:00 - I walk to the Statistics library to do homework. I forget to bring the paper that I use for homework, so I don't put much effort in it. I sit next to this girl who constantly makes the most terrifying, loud coughs. I can't even remember it anymore, but it was pretty annoying
2:00 - I decide to go to the earlier demography section. Even though I KNEW it would rain today, I didn't bring an umbrella. I end up getting extremely soaked
3:00 - The rain has stopped. Which means if I had gone home at the usual time and gone to section at my usual time, I would not have even gotten wet. I wait in line to buy a tuna sandwich. Even though I KNOW this is more than enough, I can't wait to eat so I also buy a scone that I can eat as I walk home
3:30 - I finish eating my scone AND my tuna sandwich. I feel like barfing
4:00 - I nap in my bed. INSTEAD of going to my computer science lecture
5:00 - I wake up ... when my class would have ended. I stay in bed and finish reading Fried Green Tomatoes. Throughout this 400 page book, I've only been able to identify 3 characters. I have no idea what the relations between all the OTHER characters are, but I've somehow managed to finish the entire book without knowing. I still think it's a good book, but I think I would have liked it more if I actually knew who was who
5:20 - I finally get out of bed after lying in it for 10 minutes just staring blankly at my room. I don't want to get up because I know the first thing I will do is look at myself in the mirror and see that my gigantic stomach.
5:31 - I feel immediately depressed because my stomach is gigantic and I still feel like barfing out my food. I seriously consider this option. But I never will because I once puked after consuming a crap load of macaroons and alcohol, and the satisfaction I had was a little scary
5:35 - I watch my computer science lecture webcast. Which is when I find out that the ONE TIME I ditch class, they have people fill out course evaluations, which is how they are going to give participation points. THE ONE TIME. GOD. I never even ditch class EVER. I'd be more pissed if I really cared but I'm kind of apathetic towards school lately
6:00 - I watch a bunch of episodes of Laguna Beach. When you skip all the non-Lauren parts (aka the actually interesting parts) you're not left with very much. It's very weird to rewatch the first season several years later. I think the first time I watched it, I thought "Why is Lauren Conrad even in this? She's not even in Kristin's group" but now I'm like "IDIOTS! Why aren't you on your hands and knees serving Lauren? She is your paycheck and door to fame"
7:30 - I want to post a new blog but Blogger is down.
8:00 - I turn on the TV to watch How I Met Your Mother. I unknowingly turn it onto FOX, and when the Cops theme song comes on I go WTF and realize that I've missed the first few minutes of HIMYM. Which slightly pisses me off. I end up half watching and half working on demography homework, which is LAME because I think this episode was really good and I should have just given it my full attention.
8:30 - Instead of doing my laundry, I write this blog. I now have NO underwear unless I do laundry after Heroes. Sigh. I guess I will.
I still feel insanely full from the tuna sandwich and scone.
I think whenever I'm about to go home, I stress about having to get thinner which only makes me fatter. Which then makes me sad. It also gives me pimples, which then makes me even uglier, which then makes me not want to take pictures and now I have no good, current pictures of myself. What a vicious cycle.
I'm watching Heroes right now ... and WTF didn't Nathan Petrelli get voted as mayor? How is he allowed to become a drunk and grow a hobo beard if he's the mayor? Also, I really think that whenever they talk about their powers, it's just gay subtext. HAHA Always talking about how abnormal they feel and how it's hard to keep secrets. Heroes also has some REALLY SHITTY cgi going on. You'd think they'd have more money but the green screen is FUCKING OBVIOUS. UGH.I can't believe my school week is ending in two days! Most of me is super lazy and is just waiting for the weekend to come. A small part of me, which is really the past me, emerges sometimes and goes "WHAT ARE YOU DOING! You have so much work to do! You should be doing next week's work so you don't have to do anything when you get back! You can't be watching tv all day! Get on your ass!" And then that part is forgotten when I turn on the tv.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
When I really should be doing ...
1. Reading economics
2. Reading demography, doing the hw
3. Writing my poem analysis
4. Filling out a job application
5. Sleeping so I get better
Instead I'm going to write a blog entry. Because these are obviously so productive and crucial for my well being. I don't have anything particular I want to write about. I just had a bunch of random thoughts that I thought would be bloggable, but of course, I now remember none of them.
I was reading the writer's blog for Grey's Anatomy. It's weird how all the writers seem to have similar styles of writing. Lots of rhetorical questions. And one word sentences. It's fairly annoying if you read more than one entry at a time, but otherwise, they're tolerable and interesting to read. Before, I would read them and gain some more appreciation for the episode, because then I knew a little backstory. But now, when I read these, I actually get slightly more annoyed. When they look back on the episode, they think it's so deep with hidden meanings, but honestly EVERY episode has such a clear theme that you're constantly being hit over the head with. The last episode was titled "Love/Addiction" which ... really? That was the best title they could come up with? From now on, they should just do that with all their titles. "Love/Today's theme" "Love/Loss" "Love/Mistakes" "Love/Maturing" and then repeat times 7 and you have a season.
I know I was supposed to quit this season but I think it has been getting slightly better. I read that this season is supposed to be lighter and happier, thank goodness. Usually, their storylines of sadness and death are completely ridiculous. Light and happy is usually more believable and obviously much more fun to watch. I think almost every storyline is getting better except the George/Izzy relationship. I don't understand how they could ignore SO many viewers and their reactions of "WTFFFFF NO." Not only does this relationship spring up from nowhere, but I CAN'T watch these two kiss. So far, they've been kind enough to prevent kissage between the two actors, but I think next week, I won't be so lucky.
Wow. I'm trying to remember Izzy Steven's real name but I can only think of Katharine McPhee. KATHERINE HEIGL. And ... there's no way I will remember George's. Starts with a T ... Theodore? TR KNIGHT. I had to look that up. Anyway, these two are really good actors. But no amount of acting can make me forget that these two are BEST FRIENDS and are kissing each other. ICK. I can't watch it.
I'm still kind of in disbelief that this is happening. I'm still waiting for the episode where they try to erase this storyline and backtrack and have Izzy say she was just mourning over Denny in a really drawn out but realistic way. Really, that's all that it will take. I think I'd be willing to accept any incredibly stupid explanation, as long as they ax this relationship and start building new ones. But ... I'm starting to think this won't ever happen. Which ARGH.
This turned out to be one gigantic entry on Grey's Anatomy. Other thoughts...
- I'm going home Thursday. 4 days to get thin! I can't believe I ate a donut today. Boo me. I haven't been exercising because I'm sick and my body is tired. But, I can see my stomach got fatter today. Damn you.
- I also need to do laundry but the elevator is broken so I'd have to lug my basket up a flight of stairs. I only have one more underwear left, which NOOOO! I'm seriously considering just buying more underwear. I've always considered that an extremely lazy and sad way of avoiding laundry though.
- I'm reading this book and for some reason I looked it up on amazon.com and it TOTALLY spoiled it for me. Under the tags, it had one called "suicide" and I was like WOW. THANKS. I wonder what will happen in the book. I wouldn't say they shouldn't put tags though, because I find them useful. I'm just sad that I know what will happen.
Good night. When I could have probably finished a chapter of econ, I blogged and now I'm too tired and want to sleep. Great decision making.
2. Reading demography, doing the hw
3. Writing my poem analysis
4. Filling out a job application
5. Sleeping so I get better
Instead I'm going to write a blog entry. Because these are obviously so productive and crucial for my well being. I don't have anything particular I want to write about. I just had a bunch of random thoughts that I thought would be bloggable, but of course, I now remember none of them.
I was reading the writer's blog for Grey's Anatomy. It's weird how all the writers seem to have similar styles of writing. Lots of rhetorical questions. And one word sentences. It's fairly annoying if you read more than one entry at a time, but otherwise, they're tolerable and interesting to read. Before, I would read them and gain some more appreciation for the episode, because then I knew a little backstory. But now, when I read these, I actually get slightly more annoyed. When they look back on the episode, they think it's so deep with hidden meanings, but honestly EVERY episode has such a clear theme that you're constantly being hit over the head with. The last episode was titled "Love/Addiction" which ... really? That was the best title they could come up with? From now on, they should just do that with all their titles. "Love/Today's theme" "Love/Loss" "Love/Mistakes" "Love/Maturing" and then repeat times 7 and you have a season.
I know I was supposed to quit this season but I think it has been getting slightly better. I read that this season is supposed to be lighter and happier, thank goodness. Usually, their storylines of sadness and death are completely ridiculous. Light and happy is usually more believable and obviously much more fun to watch. I think almost every storyline is getting better except the George/Izzy relationship. I don't understand how they could ignore SO many viewers and their reactions of "WTFFFFF NO." Not only does this relationship spring up from nowhere, but I CAN'T watch these two kiss. So far, they've been kind enough to prevent kissage between the two actors, but I think next week, I won't be so lucky.
Wow. I'm trying to remember Izzy Steven's real name but I can only think of Katharine McPhee. KATHERINE HEIGL. And ... there's no way I will remember George's. Starts with a T ... Theodore? TR KNIGHT. I had to look that up. Anyway, these two are really good actors. But no amount of acting can make me forget that these two are BEST FRIENDS and are kissing each other. ICK. I can't watch it.
I'm still kind of in disbelief that this is happening. I'm still waiting for the episode where they try to erase this storyline and backtrack and have Izzy say she was just mourning over Denny in a really drawn out but realistic way. Really, that's all that it will take. I think I'd be willing to accept any incredibly stupid explanation, as long as they ax this relationship and start building new ones. But ... I'm starting to think this won't ever happen. Which ARGH.
This turned out to be one gigantic entry on Grey's Anatomy. Other thoughts...
- I'm going home Thursday. 4 days to get thin! I can't believe I ate a donut today. Boo me. I haven't been exercising because I'm sick and my body is tired. But, I can see my stomach got fatter today. Damn you.
- I also need to do laundry but the elevator is broken so I'd have to lug my basket up a flight of stairs. I only have one more underwear left, which NOOOO! I'm seriously considering just buying more underwear. I've always considered that an extremely lazy and sad way of avoiding laundry though.
- I'm reading this book and for some reason I looked it up on amazon.com and it TOTALLY spoiled it for me. Under the tags, it had one called "suicide" and I was like WOW. THANKS. I wonder what will happen in the book. I wouldn't say they shouldn't put tags though, because I find them useful. I'm just sad that I know what will happen.
Good night. When I could have probably finished a chapter of econ, I blogged and now I'm too tired and want to sleep. Great decision making.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Why Does My Body Hate Me
Ugh I feel like crap right now. There are so many things wrong with my body that I don't even know which is worse. For once, this isn't an "I'm so fat" entry.
- I'm sick. I have a runny nose, sneezing, a mild headache, my mind is pretty numbed out, and I'm pretty sure I have a fever. I was pretty sure that I was going to throw up in class yesterday, and I just kept eyeing the trashcan, thinking "if I HAD to, it would take me x seconds to get there ... and I have to go through these tables ..." I JUST got over a sickness too. Boo. This time I'm actually taking medicine though. I really hate taking medicine, ever since my dad made some remark that was like "the more medicine you take now, the more you'll have to take when you're older." It makes sense, but then I think about how sometimes my dad has crazy misinformation. It's probably not the smartest idea to sit in my room with wet hair and my windows open on a rainy day, but I felt so hot after my shower.
- My wisdom tooth is growing out. I'm pretty sure it is - I woke up with a pain in my lower right jaw a few days ago, and when I run my tongue over it, I feel something growing. I kind of think it started to grow out because I started eating only salads and fruit, nothing that really requires chewing. There's been lots of times when I went on diets where I didn't eat very much, and my teeth would start hurting because they weren't being grinded down. I called the dentist today and made an appointment. This is the first time I've ever made an appointment for myself - my mom usually does it for me. It's really weird. When he asked if Saturday at 10 would be fine, a part of me was like "Why are you asking me?! Ask my mom!"
The terrible thing is that I'd look forward to getting my wisdom teeth pulled out. It's like ... the best way to diet. You can't even eat anything but smoothies. People think I'm insane and anorexic, but I'm sure there have been plenty of people who get their teeth pulled out, lose weight, and think "oh awesome!"
- My eyes are really dry. I think this might be because I'm sick but argh I hate my eyes. I'm just waiting for the day when I can replace my eyeballs. If only technology could move a little faster. This sounds like a really lame body ailment, but it really sucks to wake up and have to very carefully open my eyelids because they're so dry.
- I'm late. No I'm not pregnant. HAH. I want to get my period before I go back home, because sitting in a car for 5 hours with a pad on would be shit. I'm certain that I'm late because I haven't been eating a lot of vegetables lately. I really need to buy a bag of spinach. I hate when my period is late. It makes my diets seem less healthy. Which they probably aren't.
- My body is incredibly sore. I can't tell if this is because I recently ran on the treadmill for the first time in ages, if it's because I'm not eating enough, or if I'm just sick. I bet it's a combination of all 3. I'm starting to drink Odwalla Super Protein Green Tea. I thought it was nasty the first time, but now I'm generally so hungry I think it's delicious. And my muscles really do feel better after. Be sure to shake it REALLY well though. As in, at least a minute because the nastiest thing is when you can taste the protein powder at the bottom.
Now I'm going shopping. And I have a social but I don't think I'm going to go to that. And Alvin's having his bday party but I'm definitely going to puke if I drink alcohol so I don't know if I should go. I hope I get better soon, but at the same time, I kind of love getting sick because you lose your appetite and you don't eat as much. I think most of my problems would be solved if I just ate more, but the crazy part of my brain is saying "you don't want to worry about losing weight on top of everything else." Oh brain, how I hate you.
- I'm sick. I have a runny nose, sneezing, a mild headache, my mind is pretty numbed out, and I'm pretty sure I have a fever. I was pretty sure that I was going to throw up in class yesterday, and I just kept eyeing the trashcan, thinking "if I HAD to, it would take me x seconds to get there ... and I have to go through these tables ..." I JUST got over a sickness too. Boo. This time I'm actually taking medicine though. I really hate taking medicine, ever since my dad made some remark that was like "the more medicine you take now, the more you'll have to take when you're older." It makes sense, but then I think about how sometimes my dad has crazy misinformation. It's probably not the smartest idea to sit in my room with wet hair and my windows open on a rainy day, but I felt so hot after my shower.
- My wisdom tooth is growing out. I'm pretty sure it is - I woke up with a pain in my lower right jaw a few days ago, and when I run my tongue over it, I feel something growing. I kind of think it started to grow out because I started eating only salads and fruit, nothing that really requires chewing. There's been lots of times when I went on diets where I didn't eat very much, and my teeth would start hurting because they weren't being grinded down. I called the dentist today and made an appointment. This is the first time I've ever made an appointment for myself - my mom usually does it for me. It's really weird. When he asked if Saturday at 10 would be fine, a part of me was like "Why are you asking me?! Ask my mom!"
The terrible thing is that I'd look forward to getting my wisdom teeth pulled out. It's like ... the best way to diet. You can't even eat anything but smoothies. People think I'm insane and anorexic, but I'm sure there have been plenty of people who get their teeth pulled out, lose weight, and think "oh awesome!"
- My eyes are really dry. I think this might be because I'm sick but argh I hate my eyes. I'm just waiting for the day when I can replace my eyeballs. If only technology could move a little faster. This sounds like a really lame body ailment, but it really sucks to wake up and have to very carefully open my eyelids because they're so dry.
- I'm late. No I'm not pregnant. HAH. I want to get my period before I go back home, because sitting in a car for 5 hours with a pad on would be shit. I'm certain that I'm late because I haven't been eating a lot of vegetables lately. I really need to buy a bag of spinach. I hate when my period is late. It makes my diets seem less healthy. Which they probably aren't.
- My body is incredibly sore. I can't tell if this is because I recently ran on the treadmill for the first time in ages, if it's because I'm not eating enough, or if I'm just sick. I bet it's a combination of all 3. I'm starting to drink Odwalla Super Protein Green Tea. I thought it was nasty the first time, but now I'm generally so hungry I think it's delicious. And my muscles really do feel better after. Be sure to shake it REALLY well though. As in, at least a minute because the nastiest thing is when you can taste the protein powder at the bottom.
Now I'm going shopping. And I have a social but I don't think I'm going to go to that. And Alvin's having his bday party but I'm definitely going to puke if I drink alcohol so I don't know if I should go. I hope I get better soon, but at the same time, I kind of love getting sick because you lose your appetite and you don't eat as much. I think most of my problems would be solved if I just ate more, but the crazy part of my brain is saying "you don't want to worry about losing weight on top of everything else." Oh brain, how I hate you.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Actually, I have great taste in fashion
When I should be doing something more productive, I usually find myself ... watching the hills. Now, I was kind of pissed on Monday when I thought they were going to show a new episode, and instead I saw some "cram session" clip show of the past season. OMG if there is any show that does NOT need a clip show, it's The Hills. The entire show is a freaking clip show already. But, I then saw the trailer for next week's episode and seriously ... MTV has the best promo staff ever.
It took me some time to find it on youtube. The video on mtv isn't embeddable, which ... LAME. Why wouldn't you want to let people embed a clip of a trailer? You WANT people to spread it around blogs. Anyway, in my search, I was distracted by some fan-made video of Lauren and Jason. And ... SHE IS WEARING THE SUNGLASSES I WANTED! (see post 2 entries down)
I'm guessing they're the ones I want because they have the same giant hole on the legs. Is my taste getting better? Actually, this is probably just one of 50 pairs of designer sunglasses she owns. I read she makes $25,000 an episode. At first I was like eh, they don't make that many episodes in a season anyway. But then you consider that they make 12 episodes a season, that's $300,000! For doing NOTHING. Plus, you get swag from designers who want you to wear them around town and show how awesome they look. I wish I were a celebrity. In fact, I remember when we played Questions at Danny's house, one of them was "If you could be anything, what would you be" and I said "a celebrity" which is a pretty juvenile answer, but that's me.
Now, onto THE BEST TRAILER EVER. Actually it might not be. My memory doesn't retain trailers AT ALL. Usually after 3 days, I have completely forgotten what happened in the trailer of a tv show so when something dramatic happens the following week, I'm always like "WHOA WHAT" whereas other people are like "... could have guessed that."
This is pretty shit quality in the beginning but the more important parts are better at the end. Also, I love the music in this. It's perfectly cut with the clips. At first I thought that MTV produced this song themselves, and I would have no hope of finding it. And then I thought about it and was like, since when does MTV mix their own songs? Their shows are basically excuses to cram about 20 songs into 20 minutes of film time. And indeed, the song is actually Jag Star - Disguise, which is like a female Blink 182.
The part that makes me think "this is a fucking awesome trailer" is after Lisa Love says "We're going to send you to New York again." The overhead shot is crazy. It gave me chills. It gives me chills every time I see it. I like to wonder how they shot that. The MTV cameraman saying "WAIT THERE DON'T MOVE" and running with his crew up a giant flight of stairs just to get this one second shot. Which they probably redid about 5 times.
Am I abusing this embed html code? Do people even watch these things when I post them? I do when other people do it. Seriously, watch it! No matter what your preconceptions of The Hills are.
It took me some time to find it on youtube. The video on mtv isn't embeddable, which ... LAME. Why wouldn't you want to let people embed a clip of a trailer? You WANT people to spread it around blogs. Anyway, in my search, I was distracted by some fan-made video of Lauren and Jason. And ... SHE IS WEARING THE SUNGLASSES I WANTED! (see post 2 entries down)
I'm guessing they're the ones I want because they have the same giant hole on the legs. Is my taste getting better? Actually, this is probably just one of 50 pairs of designer sunglasses she owns. I read she makes $25,000 an episode. At first I was like eh, they don't make that many episodes in a season anyway. But then you consider that they make 12 episodes a season, that's $300,000! For doing NOTHING. Plus, you get swag from designers who want you to wear them around town and show how awesome they look. I wish I were a celebrity. In fact, I remember when we played Questions at Danny's house, one of them was "If you could be anything, what would you be" and I said "a celebrity" which is a pretty juvenile answer, but that's me.Now, onto THE BEST TRAILER EVER. Actually it might not be. My memory doesn't retain trailers AT ALL. Usually after 3 days, I have completely forgotten what happened in the trailer of a tv show so when something dramatic happens the following week, I'm always like "WHOA WHAT" whereas other people are like "... could have guessed that."
This is pretty shit quality in the beginning but the more important parts are better at the end. Also, I love the music in this. It's perfectly cut with the clips. At first I thought that MTV produced this song themselves, and I would have no hope of finding it. And then I thought about it and was like, since when does MTV mix their own songs? Their shows are basically excuses to cram about 20 songs into 20 minutes of film time. And indeed, the song is actually Jag Star - Disguise, which is like a female Blink 182.
The part that makes me think "this is a fucking awesome trailer" is after Lisa Love says "We're going to send you to New York again." The overhead shot is crazy. It gave me chills. It gives me chills every time I see it. I like to wonder how they shot that. The MTV cameraman saying "WAIT THERE DON'T MOVE" and running with his crew up a giant flight of stairs just to get this one second shot. Which they probably redid about 5 times.
Am I abusing this embed html code? Do people even watch these things when I post them? I do when other people do it. Seriously, watch it! No matter what your preconceptions of The Hills are.
Return of the Treadmill
I haven't run on the treadmill for several months. I stopped because I realized that walking on the incline made my calves thick and running gave me shin splints. The idea of muscle ripping off my bones does not really appeal to me. So I just ran around the track for the rest of the summer, which was really nice. But now that I'm back in school, there's no track to run on - at least I don't THINK there is. There's this giant walled off section next to the RSF and I have no idea what it contains. There's the entire west side of campus that I don't know very well because you have to climb uphill and I have no reason to go to that side. So I've just stuck to the elliptical this entire time.
Yesterday though, I really wanted to go running so I went on the treadmill. It lasted about 2 minutes, because I just happened to go on the one that made hideous screeching noises. So I just retreated back to the elliptical. But today, I walked in and saw a treadmill in a really good place - it faces the raquetball courts so it feels more private, and no one would be staring at me. So I ran about 2 miles on it. omg, I definitely got an endorphin rush from it. I'm kind of just sitting in my room all happy for no reason. I think my body got too used to the elliptical and it started to feel like a chore. So maybe now I'll go back to running.
It's nice to know that I can still gain some simple pleasures in life, and it's not from the tv or alcohol. HA.
It's also raining, which would normally make me even happier, but seeing as how I don't have my UMBRELLA I'm kind of wondering how I will get to class.
This makes me want to go on an arrested development marathon. I really shouldn't though. I have no reason not to (I HAVE NOTHING TO DO IN MY LIFE) but I just shouldn't
Yesterday though, I really wanted to go running so I went on the treadmill. It lasted about 2 minutes, because I just happened to go on the one that made hideous screeching noises. So I just retreated back to the elliptical. But today, I walked in and saw a treadmill in a really good place - it faces the raquetball courts so it feels more private, and no one would be staring at me. So I ran about 2 miles on it. omg, I definitely got an endorphin rush from it. I'm kind of just sitting in my room all happy for no reason. I think my body got too used to the elliptical and it started to feel like a chore. So maybe now I'll go back to running.
It's nice to know that I can still gain some simple pleasures in life, and it's not from the tv or alcohol. HA.
It's also raining, which would normally make me even happier, but seeing as how I don't have my UMBRELLA I'm kind of wondering how I will get to class.
This makes me want to go on an arrested development marathon. I really shouldn't though. I have no reason not to (I HAVE NOTHING TO DO IN MY LIFE) but I just shouldn't
Monday, October 8, 2007
Thank god I don't have a credit card
So I was browsing blogspots today and one of them linked to the greatest site ever. Honestly, the best way to get me to buy something is to put the original price, the reduced price, and a % you save. I just want to buy EVERYTHING. Because it just seems like everything here is on sale! This makes me really want a very high-paying job so I can just charge it like it's nothing. I'm seriously considering becoming an investment banker now. Usually, I think people hear about how investment bankers have no lives and just work insane hours and think it's the worst thing ever. When I first heard that, instead of thinking "thank god I'm not headed in that direction" I actually thought "hey that sounds like it'd fit me." If I'm happiest when I'm busy, isn't it only logical that I will be happiest working overtime? I think so.
All I need is money, good music, possibly a dog, an apartment with a loft, time to watch tv, and a thin body (and at some point, a relationship).
Anyway, I want everything. Seriously. To my unknowledgable fashion eye, most of these things all look the same to me. All that my brain can process is "wow that looks nice" and "wow that is a very well known brand" and "wow give me give me." Let's say I had $1000...
1. Sunglasses
I could probably find a pair of sunglasses that I would love even more, but from this site's selection, this is what I'd get. I look ridiculous in those giant bug-eyed ones and I like fairly dark tinted lenses. I don't understand why people wear sunglasses that are practically clear. It boggles me. These are basically the narrowest pair that I saw and I think it would fit my face ok. I really like sporty looking sunglasses though - the kind of that I see athletes wear around campus. But wearing them would make me an athletes poser.
*also, I wrote in the html that makes this text float to the right MYSELF. my god, computer science turned out to be the most useful class I've taken yet*
2. Jeans
I just grabbed a picture. I can't see for shit from these little thumbnails, and even if the jeans were blown up to the size of my monitor, I still wouldn't be able to tell the difference. I just want more jeans. Any jeans, as long as they look good and make my legs look thin.
3. Dress
Do I need a black dress? I don't think so. But I want one. I probably have no occasion to wear it too, and even if I had to go to a funeral, I don't think this would be appropriate. I don't own any pretty black heels, so this means I'd have to buy a new pair of shoes too...
4. Jackets
Oh my gosh. I'd buy every jacket and every sweater they have on this site. I love winter clothes. I'm such a norcal girl. I hate wearing tshirts and tanks and camis. I do like wearing shorts though. But I'd rather wear jeans. I hate flip flops. I love sneakers. I'd probably love boots too, if I didn't think they were such a hassle to put on. In SF, I could go shopping in a suit and no one would think anything of it. In socal, I'd feel like a crazy workaholic who didn't have time to go home and change if I did that.
5. Sweaters
I don't know why I like this so much. I'm not British. I don't have the thin upper arms to pull this off. I also don't need it in cashmere. Just print it up on a cotton sweater and I'd totally buy it for $20. I don't care.
The only thing I don't want is just about everything from the shirts and blouses section. Do I just have absolutely no fashion sense or are those all older lady clothing? I can't imagine wearing these things to the office, because I'd probably be wearing a suit. At the same time, I can't imagine wearing these out to shopping or something. I can imagine other people doing so, but I would feel so frumpy and lumpy in them. I don't think my body parts fit these types of clothing very well.
Wow. That was a really good way to use up an hour of my life.
All I need is money, good music, possibly a dog, an apartment with a loft, time to watch tv, and a thin body (and at some point, a relationship).
Anyway, I want everything. Seriously. To my unknowledgable fashion eye, most of these things all look the same to me. All that my brain can process is "wow that looks nice" and "wow that is a very well known brand" and "wow give me give me." Let's say I had $1000...
1. Sunglasses
I could probably find a pair of sunglasses that I would love even more, but from this site's selection, this is what I'd get. I look ridiculous in those giant bug-eyed ones and I like fairly dark tinted lenses. I don't understand why people wear sunglasses that are practically clear. It boggles me. These are basically the narrowest pair that I saw and I think it would fit my face ok. I really like sporty looking sunglasses though - the kind of that I see athletes wear around campus. But wearing them would make me an athletes poser.
*also, I wrote in the html that makes this text float to the right MYSELF. my god, computer science turned out to be the most useful class I've taken yet*
I just grabbed a picture. I can't see for shit from these little thumbnails, and even if the jeans were blown up to the size of my monitor, I still wouldn't be able to tell the difference. I just want more jeans. Any jeans, as long as they look good and make my legs look thin.
3. Dress
Do I need a black dress? I don't think so. But I want one. I probably have no occasion to wear it too, and even if I had to go to a funeral, I don't think this would be appropriate. I don't own any pretty black heels, so this means I'd have to buy a new pair of shoes too...
4. Jackets
Oh my gosh. I'd buy every jacket and every sweater they have on this site. I love winter clothes. I'm such a norcal girl. I hate wearing tshirts and tanks and camis. I do like wearing shorts though. But I'd rather wear jeans. I hate flip flops. I love sneakers. I'd probably love boots too, if I didn't think they were such a hassle to put on. In SF, I could go shopping in a suit and no one would think anything of it. In socal, I'd feel like a crazy workaholic who didn't have time to go home and change if I did that.
5. Sweaters
I don't know why I like this so much. I'm not British. I don't have the thin upper arms to pull this off. I also don't need it in cashmere. Just print it up on a cotton sweater and I'd totally buy it for $20. I don't care.
The only thing I don't want is just about everything from the shirts and blouses section. Do I just have absolutely no fashion sense or are those all older lady clothing? I can't imagine wearing these things to the office, because I'd probably be wearing a suit. At the same time, I can't imagine wearing these out to shopping or something. I can imagine other people doing so, but I would feel so frumpy and lumpy in them. I don't think my body parts fit these types of clothing very well.
Wow. That was a really good way to use up an hour of my life.
I have nothing to do
I wrote a fairly long post earlier and then I decided to trash it. I honestly feel like I have nothing to write about. Most of my midterms are over, I have one tomorrow but I've finished studying for that one, and I wasn't studying very much to begin with anyway. I'm far less stressed than I was last year. I don't know if it's because I chilled out over the summer or if my classes are just easier or if I just was just a big stress freak last year. But, now I have a lot of idle time which I HATE. Whenever I have a day where I don't do very much, I just start to panic because
1. I think I must have forgotten to do something
2. I think I'm just being lazy and putting off things, even if there is really nothing to do
3. I start thinking about things I SHOULD do which is much more to panic about because these are generally larger, more important things (like getting into Haas, or getting a job) that get looked over when my mind is on homework and tests
4. I feel like my life has no meaning
There are a lot of things I want to do with my free time but actually getting started on them is very difficult. And it's so much easier to just sit in front of my computer and watch shows all day. But I'm now at the point where I've watched all the episodes of all the shows I want to watch. I don't want to rewatch anything, I don't want to pick up new shows. I also dislike reading televisionwithoutpity now, because there are SO many articles that it's kind of diluted the joy I once got from reading them. I don't like celebrity gossip anymore ... I have nothing in my life.
Things I Want
1. Blogs to read: I wish I had a giant list of blogs that were really interesting to read. It makes me kind of want online friends. I wish there were some search engine on blogspot where I could look up a term and find blogs that wrote about it. I've tried searching for blogs but that search was futile. Also, I'd enjoy reading about people's lives, but it's hard to stay interested when you've never met them so you can't hear their voice in your head.
2. New music: Searching for music now seems like a giant pain. Is this one of the signs of getting older? At a certain point, I think you don't care so much about your music and you just listen to what you have or what's on the radio. You'd think that this means my life has moved onto bigger and better things, but that's not the case. Jimmy Eat World has a new CD which I've been playing, but it's too soft to play at the gym. I wish I had a bunch of loud pop or hiphop to play when I'm on the elliptical, but I can't imagine actually searching for such music.
3. Feast of Love: I want to watch this movie even though it appears to have shit reviews. I really like the music in the trailer, and over the summer I spent weeks trying to find the song until I realized you could just download it for free on the band's myspace. I'd watch it today, but if I end up failing my demography midterm tomorrow, I'll just always think "hmm ... probably shouldn't have watched a movie that day"
4. Swimming: Argh I haven't gone swimming in so long. And I seem to always want to go swimming right before I get my period. Swimming would take up 2 hours of my schedule, and would probably solve both my "i hate idle time" problem and my "i'd like to lose weight" goal. I bet I'd lose so much weight really quickly if I started swimming, and actually managed to eat only fruit for dinner, as I plan to do
5. Buy fruit: I really need more fruit. I want apples, grapes, strawberries. I don't know what else is in season. I get bananas at school. Oranges, grapefruit. I'd want mangos but I hate cutting them. These are actually all things that I could buy at school, only they'd charge me 3x the price. I also need to buy some bags of spinach. And some more tofu. My fridge is so empty. It contains a giant bottle of odwalla, some milk that I always have to smell before drinking, a bag of carrots that have been there for over a month, 2 boxes of tofu that I don't know why I bought, because I don't know how to prepare it, and a frozen bag of naan.
6. Watch movies: I kind of want to go to the media resources library in Moffitt library and just watch a lot of old movies. I'm kind of bored. I'm not sure that watching MORE things would make me happier though.
7. A dog: I want a dog all of a sudden. When I walk from my comp sci class to the dorm, I pass by this field where people always bring their dogs. I want a dog! What a freaking cutie. I think what I really want is to be in a relationship, but that's too hard.
I think it's a little annoying that I have more labels than I have of actual posts. I think I was just too eager to categorize my life. I'm going to read now. I'm reading Fried Green Tomatoes. There are too many characters and I have no idea who is who. I hate books that start off with a crapload of characters. I have a terrible memory and since I usually read right before I go to sleep, it's even harder for me to figure out what's going on. I think that might be why I liked reading memoirs and non-fiction over the summer. Far less characters.
1. I think I must have forgotten to do something
2. I think I'm just being lazy and putting off things, even if there is really nothing to do
3. I start thinking about things I SHOULD do which is much more to panic about because these are generally larger, more important things (like getting into Haas, or getting a job) that get looked over when my mind is on homework and tests
4. I feel like my life has no meaning
There are a lot of things I want to do with my free time but actually getting started on them is very difficult. And it's so much easier to just sit in front of my computer and watch shows all day. But I'm now at the point where I've watched all the episodes of all the shows I want to watch. I don't want to rewatch anything, I don't want to pick up new shows. I also dislike reading televisionwithoutpity now, because there are SO many articles that it's kind of diluted the joy I once got from reading them. I don't like celebrity gossip anymore ... I have nothing in my life.
Things I Want
1. Blogs to read: I wish I had a giant list of blogs that were really interesting to read. It makes me kind of want online friends. I wish there were some search engine on blogspot where I could look up a term and find blogs that wrote about it. I've tried searching for blogs but that search was futile. Also, I'd enjoy reading about people's lives, but it's hard to stay interested when you've never met them so you can't hear their voice in your head.
2. New music: Searching for music now seems like a giant pain. Is this one of the signs of getting older? At a certain point, I think you don't care so much about your music and you just listen to what you have or what's on the radio. You'd think that this means my life has moved onto bigger and better things, but that's not the case. Jimmy Eat World has a new CD which I've been playing, but it's too soft to play at the gym. I wish I had a bunch of loud pop or hiphop to play when I'm on the elliptical, but I can't imagine actually searching for such music.
3. Feast of Love: I want to watch this movie even though it appears to have shit reviews. I really like the music in the trailer, and over the summer I spent weeks trying to find the song until I realized you could just download it for free on the band's myspace. I'd watch it today, but if I end up failing my demography midterm tomorrow, I'll just always think "hmm ... probably shouldn't have watched a movie that day"
4. Swimming: Argh I haven't gone swimming in so long. And I seem to always want to go swimming right before I get my period. Swimming would take up 2 hours of my schedule, and would probably solve both my "i hate idle time" problem and my "i'd like to lose weight" goal. I bet I'd lose so much weight really quickly if I started swimming, and actually managed to eat only fruit for dinner, as I plan to do
5. Buy fruit: I really need more fruit. I want apples, grapes, strawberries. I don't know what else is in season. I get bananas at school. Oranges, grapefruit. I'd want mangos but I hate cutting them. These are actually all things that I could buy at school, only they'd charge me 3x the price. I also need to buy some bags of spinach. And some more tofu. My fridge is so empty. It contains a giant bottle of odwalla, some milk that I always have to smell before drinking, a bag of carrots that have been there for over a month, 2 boxes of tofu that I don't know why I bought, because I don't know how to prepare it, and a frozen bag of naan.
6. Watch movies: I kind of want to go to the media resources library in Moffitt library and just watch a lot of old movies. I'm kind of bored. I'm not sure that watching MORE things would make me happier though.
7. A dog: I want a dog all of a sudden. When I walk from my comp sci class to the dorm, I pass by this field where people always bring their dogs. I want a dog! What a freaking cutie. I think what I really want is to be in a relationship, but that's too hard.I think it's a little annoying that I have more labels than I have of actual posts. I think I was just too eager to categorize my life. I'm going to read now. I'm reading Fried Green Tomatoes. There are too many characters and I have no idea who is who. I hate books that start off with a crapload of characters. I have a terrible memory and since I usually read right before I go to sleep, it's even harder for me to figure out what's going on. I think that might be why I liked reading memoirs and non-fiction over the summer. Far less characters.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Manicure
Today has been a very weird day. I came back home late and only had the thought of changing my pants before I went to sleep. Then I woke up at 4am and brushed my teeth and then changed into my pjs and took out my contacts. For some reason, I had the thought of going running but some part of my brain still had the capacity to realize it was still dark outside. Then I woke up at 8:20 and I probably could have stayed in bed if I hadn't realized how much work I have to do today.
- Demography: I just tried taking a practice midterm and out of 9 problems, I could answer 3 with some certainty, although one required me to look up an equation. I finished with more of a "thank god this is over" feeling whereas usually I finish a practice test with "oh no I have to study these concepts more." The first is far worse because it's a general giving up of the entire course, because I have no idea where to begin studying. I know the first chapter fairly well but whenever I don't understand something in the later chapters, I always wonder if it's because I didn't notice some subtlety in the first chapter, which then makes me want to reread everything from the beginning, which THEN makes me want to give up on studying altogether. I need to go to the library and just study, which I will do as soon as this blog is done with.
- Comp Lit: I have to write an essay but I'm not really worried about this because I can do this in a day. I want to do this first, but I know I would just be using this assignment to put off the inevitable studying of demography, which is far more pressing and would require more of my brain power.
- Economics: I keep thinking about how I did on the final. It was an ok test - not insanely difficult and if you study you can figure things out. But there was such a time crunch. I usually have no problem with finishing a test on time, so when I started, I didn't really think of time management. Then I spent way too long on four T/F questions and when I looked up I freaked out because I had only 35 minutes left for all the other questions. In the last few minutes, I ended up crossing off an answer I now think was correct, and drawing a graph that I think is wrong. I changed a few other answers too, but I have no idea whether I'm right or wrong.
I usually never think about a test after it's done, which sounds surprising since I seem like the type who would stress out about these things. I actually hate it when people talk about a test after it's over, asking each other what they think some answer was or how they thought they did. I usually figure that I did the best I could and studied pretty hard and if something is marked wrong, I can accept it because I honestly didn't know the answer. In this case, I feel like if I had just managed my time better, my grade would be much higher. It's like I had the capacity to do well but some other factor just fucked me over. Which is why I keep thinking about it this weekend. I guess I'll see what happens when our tests are returned.
Anyway, so I got up, ate some cereal, wrote an email to Erica, and then read my book. My fun book. I think the term is pleasure reading but I think that sounds dirty. I'm reading Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld. I actually just finished it a few hours ago. It was the first book I've finished reading in a long time. I like the way it's laid out but I don't like the character very much. Maybe she has too many qualities that are similar to me. Aren't you supposed to dislike the people who actually have the same negative characteristics as you do? The amazon review is right in saying "some readers may tire of her constant worrying and self-doubting obsessions" but I don't like her when the book is done either. In her adult voice, she still clings onto the same "I will be intimidated by the people I deem higher than me" which kind of shows how she hasn't changed. I want to start reading my next book, but I should probably hold off until I actually finish studying for this round of midterms.
I then went to get a manicure. I'd post a picture, but looking at a picture of fingers is kind of gross. I've been planning to get one for about a month but my friend and I never had the time. Finally we went. It was more expensive than the time I did it with Erica at Candy Nails for prom. I really dislike the process of getting a manicure. I'm probably just unused to it, but it kind of scares me when my nail is being filed off. Even though I know it's just taking off the dead skin, a part of me is like "OMG IS SHE FILING MY FINGER OFF?" I also hate the smell of a nail salon - it's so toxic. There's also the awkward moment of tipping the person. I'm very unused to tipping people who aren't waiters, where you can just leave the money on the table and you don't see them between the time you leave the money and the time you leave. There's no way to see if they think it was too little tip and you also don't have to act so generous when they thank you for the tip.
I keep staring at my hands. Partly because I'm very paranoid about chipping them and whenever I do something with my fingers, I'm certain that all the paint chipped off. I already chipped one finger. It's pretty lame because I was trying to be extra careful and that's probably why it got chipped. There was also a black speck on my left thumb, and it really bothered me so I kind of plucked it off. Now there's a tiny circle in my nail where the black particle used to be, where there's no paint on it. I felt like I was plucking a dinosaur out of the la brea tar pits.
Whenever I see some girl with a french manicure, I think it looks very pretty and natural on their fingers. But for me, I feel like the color is so weird. My nail beds are now this weird unhuman color. When my friend looked at my nails and said "They're so pretty!" I was like "... really?" and then I realized that she had taken me here so I was like "yeah i really like them." If I stare too long at them, I feel like a doll. I also feel like I can hear my fingers screaming "WHY ARE YOU SUFFOCATING US." I don't want to sound like some hippy or whatever the term is, but I really hate all this makeup stuff. They just make your body even worse off, even if you look better for that short term. When I use mascara, I feel like my eyelashes are about to fall off. When I rub off eyeliner, I can just see myself getting crows eyes at that very moment. Now, I'm even less inclined to shave my legs because Chrystal told me that it'll make the pores on your legs bigger.
The season premiere of Friday Night Lights was yesterday. It was awesome. I don't know if I would think it was better than Brothers and Sisters though ... the ending had a very WTF moment where my floormate and I were both yelling at the tv "WTF ARE YOU DOING YOU IDIOTS." For almost the entire episode, Connie Britton doesn't wear any makeup. In the beginning, when she IS wearing makeup I said to my floormate "she's so pretty. if i could look like that when i'm 40, I'd be so happy." Then she came on the screen with no makeup, which I love to see because I don't think an uptight actress would ever concede to do such a thing. The only time I know this has happened was Meryl Streep in Devil Wears Prada. Part of me was like "yay connie britton for doing this" but at the same time I was like "wow she looks really ... different." I can't bring myself to say ugly and old, because I heart her. I'm sure seeing her in person without makeup would be normal. But on tv, the camera is just so much harsher.
I would post a picture or a video of Kyle Chandler holding his tv baby, but I can't find any. It is seriously the cutest thing ever. Kyle Chandler is awesome. I can find no fault in him or his character.
I should probably go to the library now. After I decide what pictures/videos to stick in here, because they're fun to include in blogspot.
The scene where I realized that Minka Kelly is not a terrible actress and that her character is pretty awesome
- Demography: I just tried taking a practice midterm and out of 9 problems, I could answer 3 with some certainty, although one required me to look up an equation. I finished with more of a "thank god this is over" feeling whereas usually I finish a practice test with "oh no I have to study these concepts more." The first is far worse because it's a general giving up of the entire course, because I have no idea where to begin studying. I know the first chapter fairly well but whenever I don't understand something in the later chapters, I always wonder if it's because I didn't notice some subtlety in the first chapter, which then makes me want to reread everything from the beginning, which THEN makes me want to give up on studying altogether. I need to go to the library and just study, which I will do as soon as this blog is done with.
- Comp Lit: I have to write an essay but I'm not really worried about this because I can do this in a day. I want to do this first, but I know I would just be using this assignment to put off the inevitable studying of demography, which is far more pressing and would require more of my brain power.
- Economics: I keep thinking about how I did on the final. It was an ok test - not insanely difficult and if you study you can figure things out. But there was such a time crunch. I usually have no problem with finishing a test on time, so when I started, I didn't really think of time management. Then I spent way too long on four T/F questions and when I looked up I freaked out because I had only 35 minutes left for all the other questions. In the last few minutes, I ended up crossing off an answer I now think was correct, and drawing a graph that I think is wrong. I changed a few other answers too, but I have no idea whether I'm right or wrong.
I usually never think about a test after it's done, which sounds surprising since I seem like the type who would stress out about these things. I actually hate it when people talk about a test after it's over, asking each other what they think some answer was or how they thought they did. I usually figure that I did the best I could and studied pretty hard and if something is marked wrong, I can accept it because I honestly didn't know the answer. In this case, I feel like if I had just managed my time better, my grade would be much higher. It's like I had the capacity to do well but some other factor just fucked me over. Which is why I keep thinking about it this weekend. I guess I'll see what happens when our tests are returned.
Anyway, so I got up, ate some cereal, wrote an email to Erica, and then read my book. My fun book. I think the term is pleasure reading but I think that sounds dirty. I'm reading Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld. I actually just finished it a few hours ago. It was the first book I've finished reading in a long time. I like the way it's laid out but I don't like the character very much. Maybe she has too many qualities that are similar to me. Aren't you supposed to dislike the people who actually have the same negative characteristics as you do? The amazon review is right in saying "some readers may tire of her constant worrying and self-doubting obsessions" but I don't like her when the book is done either. In her adult voice, she still clings onto the same "I will be intimidated by the people I deem higher than me" which kind of shows how she hasn't changed. I want to start reading my next book, but I should probably hold off until I actually finish studying for this round of midterms.
I then went to get a manicure. I'd post a picture, but looking at a picture of fingers is kind of gross. I've been planning to get one for about a month but my friend and I never had the time. Finally we went. It was more expensive than the time I did it with Erica at Candy Nails for prom. I really dislike the process of getting a manicure. I'm probably just unused to it, but it kind of scares me when my nail is being filed off. Even though I know it's just taking off the dead skin, a part of me is like "OMG IS SHE FILING MY FINGER OFF?" I also hate the smell of a nail salon - it's so toxic. There's also the awkward moment of tipping the person. I'm very unused to tipping people who aren't waiters, where you can just leave the money on the table and you don't see them between the time you leave the money and the time you leave. There's no way to see if they think it was too little tip and you also don't have to act so generous when they thank you for the tip.
I keep staring at my hands. Partly because I'm very paranoid about chipping them and whenever I do something with my fingers, I'm certain that all the paint chipped off. I already chipped one finger. It's pretty lame because I was trying to be extra careful and that's probably why it got chipped. There was also a black speck on my left thumb, and it really bothered me so I kind of plucked it off. Now there's a tiny circle in my nail where the black particle used to be, where there's no paint on it. I felt like I was plucking a dinosaur out of the la brea tar pits.
Whenever I see some girl with a french manicure, I think it looks very pretty and natural on their fingers. But for me, I feel like the color is so weird. My nail beds are now this weird unhuman color. When my friend looked at my nails and said "They're so pretty!" I was like "... really?" and then I realized that she had taken me here so I was like "yeah i really like them." If I stare too long at them, I feel like a doll. I also feel like I can hear my fingers screaming "WHY ARE YOU SUFFOCATING US." I don't want to sound like some hippy or whatever the term is, but I really hate all this makeup stuff. They just make your body even worse off, even if you look better for that short term. When I use mascara, I feel like my eyelashes are about to fall off. When I rub off eyeliner, I can just see myself getting crows eyes at that very moment. Now, I'm even less inclined to shave my legs because Chrystal told me that it'll make the pores on your legs bigger.
The season premiere of Friday Night Lights was yesterday. It was awesome. I don't know if I would think it was better than Brothers and Sisters though ... the ending had a very WTF moment where my floormate and I were both yelling at the tv "WTF ARE YOU DOING YOU IDIOTS." For almost the entire episode, Connie Britton doesn't wear any makeup. In the beginning, when she IS wearing makeup I said to my floormate "she's so pretty. if i could look like that when i'm 40, I'd be so happy." Then she came on the screen with no makeup, which I love to see because I don't think an uptight actress would ever concede to do such a thing. The only time I know this has happened was Meryl Streep in Devil Wears Prada. Part of me was like "yay connie britton for doing this" but at the same time I was like "wow she looks really ... different." I can't bring myself to say ugly and old, because I heart her. I'm sure seeing her in person without makeup would be normal. But on tv, the camera is just so much harsher.
I would post a picture or a video of Kyle Chandler holding his tv baby, but I can't find any. It is seriously the cutest thing ever. Kyle Chandler is awesome. I can find no fault in him or his character.
I should probably go to the library now. After I decide what pictures/videos to stick in here, because they're fun to include in blogspot.
The scene where I realized that Minka Kelly is not a terrible actress and that her character is pretty awesome
Thursday, October 4, 2007
I'm inspired to rant
I previously started two different entries and deleted them before I was ever done. I really shouldn't try to blog or do homework or anything when the tv is on. I get distracted and I stop typing and when I look at it, I think it's stupid to post. Thursdays are such a pain. How am I supposed to choose between Survivor, Ugly Betty, and 30 Rock? They're all completely different shows so it's hard to compare them. I ended up realizing that I never got addicted to Ugly Betty, so there's no reason to force myself to watch it. I can easily decide not to watch Survivor, but I saw a few minutes today and it was pretty addicting. Then 30 Rock came on, and 30 Rock >> Survivor. I actually laughed out loud several times. More than for The Office, although 15 minutes into The Office, I just wanted it to be over so I could get started on "homework"
My reason for ranting: Why can't I stop myself from eating?! Honestly, I KNOW that I'll be more unhappy eating something than I would be not eating it. If anything, it would probably make me even happier to know that I resisted eating something I was craving. This is what went down
Stomach: I'm hungry... it's 11:30 and you ate dinner at 5:00
Brain: We ate at 5:00 because you wanted to chow down on a tuna sandwich since noon. And you were completely stuffed afterwards. You're not allowed to eat anymore today
Stomach: But that was so long ago! I want a Clif Bar
Brain: You can't eat a Clif Bar. It has tons of sugar in it, and it'll probably keep you awake at night
Stomach: Exactly! Then you can continue studying! You can't study without food. You'll tire out and just go to bed
Brain: NO. It's 11:30! You're not allowed to eat food after 10:00. Also, you have to look super thin tomorrow because you will be wearing a long-sleeve sweater with horizontal lines that will cling to your stomach. And horizontal lines make you look even fatter. And you're going to a party at night. You can't go to a party if you're not perfectly flat.
Stomach: Fine. No Clif Bar then.
Brain: Good. I'm glad we came to an understanding
Hands: OMG A CLIF BAR
Brain: AGHHHHHHHHHH
Mouth: yum.
Wow, that was fun. Now I know why the ladies on gofugyourself make all those long dialogues that I never read.
I think the reason I've been slightly more lenient over what I eat is because I don't have a formal set of rules. Or a goal. Also, I think that if you tell yourself you're not allowed to do something, it'll just make you want to do it more.
I really want a picture of someone whose body I want so I have a set goal, as opposed to what I currently do which is "you're fatter than yesterday" or "you're almost the size you were in the summer." But I can't think of anyone whose body I could realistically achieve. Yes, even I am not so naive as to think that I can become a super thin hot girl. So that pretty much eliminates any female in Hollywood.
There was this hilarious line on 30 Rock where one of the actresses on the show gains weight (I actually laughed when the camera drew back and I saw her in an obvious fat suit) and Alec Baldwin who plays this executive on NBC says something like "She'll have to either lose 30 pounds or gain 60. Anything in between has no place on television" which is SOOO true. There's never anyone who's like ... just a little bit overweight, because then she'd be pressured to lose weight until she's normal. And I've noticed that all the larger actresses on TV (this doesn't apply to males) always have pointy faces, which give them the impression of being thin. I think it's because then when the camera focuses on their face, they still don't seem fat, which would be unappealing to look at. But when you focus on the entire body, it's not that big of a deal.
I've ended up talking to Chrystal for the past hour. She's very tired and doesn't sleep or eat very much, so now every night we talk about the most ridiculous things and it's like the most hilarious thing ever. I feel like we're both on drugs or something. Anyway, I didn't really finish what I had to say, but I have so many posts about my fatness that I'm sure it doesn't matter. I leave you with one of many pictures she drew for me in her insane state
My reason for ranting: Why can't I stop myself from eating?! Honestly, I KNOW that I'll be more unhappy eating something than I would be not eating it. If anything, it would probably make me even happier to know that I resisted eating something I was craving. This is what went down
Stomach: I'm hungry... it's 11:30 and you ate dinner at 5:00
Brain: We ate at 5:00 because you wanted to chow down on a tuna sandwich since noon. And you were completely stuffed afterwards. You're not allowed to eat anymore today
Stomach: But that was so long ago! I want a Clif Bar
Brain: You can't eat a Clif Bar. It has tons of sugar in it, and it'll probably keep you awake at night
Stomach: Exactly! Then you can continue studying! You can't study without food. You'll tire out and just go to bed
Brain: NO. It's 11:30! You're not allowed to eat food after 10:00. Also, you have to look super thin tomorrow because you will be wearing a long-sleeve sweater with horizontal lines that will cling to your stomach. And horizontal lines make you look even fatter. And you're going to a party at night. You can't go to a party if you're not perfectly flat.
Stomach: Fine. No Clif Bar then.
Brain: Good. I'm glad we came to an understanding
Hands: OMG A CLIF BAR
Brain: AGHHHHHHHHHH
Mouth: yum.
Wow, that was fun. Now I know why the ladies on gofugyourself make all those long dialogues that I never read.
I think the reason I've been slightly more lenient over what I eat is because I don't have a formal set of rules. Or a goal. Also, I think that if you tell yourself you're not allowed to do something, it'll just make you want to do it more.
I really want a picture of someone whose body I want so I have a set goal, as opposed to what I currently do which is "you're fatter than yesterday" or "you're almost the size you were in the summer." But I can't think of anyone whose body I could realistically achieve. Yes, even I am not so naive as to think that I can become a super thin hot girl. So that pretty much eliminates any female in Hollywood.
There was this hilarious line on 30 Rock where one of the actresses on the show gains weight (I actually laughed when the camera drew back and I saw her in an obvious fat suit) and Alec Baldwin who plays this executive on NBC says something like "She'll have to either lose 30 pounds or gain 60. Anything in between has no place on television" which is SOOO true. There's never anyone who's like ... just a little bit overweight, because then she'd be pressured to lose weight until she's normal. And I've noticed that all the larger actresses on TV (this doesn't apply to males) always have pointy faces, which give them the impression of being thin. I think it's because then when the camera focuses on their face, they still don't seem fat, which would be unappealing to look at. But when you focus on the entire body, it's not that big of a deal.
I've ended up talking to Chrystal for the past hour. She's very tired and doesn't sleep or eat very much, so now every night we talk about the most ridiculous things and it's like the most hilarious thing ever. I feel like we're both on drugs or something. Anyway, I didn't really finish what I had to say, but I have so many posts about my fatness that I'm sure it doesn't matter. I leave you with one of many pictures she drew for me in her insane state
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