Manicure

Today has been a very weird day. I came back home late and only had the thought of changing my pants before I went to sleep. Then I woke up at 4am and brushed my teeth and then changed into my pjs and took out my contacts. For some reason, I had the thought of going running but some part of my brain still had the capacity to realize it was still dark outside. Then I woke up at 8:20 and I probably could have stayed in bed if I hadn't realized how much work I have to do today.

- Demography: I just tried taking a practice midterm and out of 9 problems, I could answer 3 with some certainty, although one required me to look up an equation. I finished with more of a "thank god this is over" feeling whereas usually I finish a practice test with "oh no I have to study these concepts more." The first is far worse because it's a general giving up of the entire course, because I have no idea where to begin studying. I know the first chapter fairly well but whenever I don't understand something in the later chapters, I always wonder if it's because I didn't notice some subtlety in the first chapter, which then makes me want to reread everything from the beginning, which THEN makes me want to give up on studying altogether. I need to go to the library and just study, which I will do as soon as this blog is done with.

- Comp Lit: I have to write an essay but I'm not really worried about this because I can do this in a day. I want to do this first, but I know I would just be using this assignment to put off the inevitable studying of demography, which is far more pressing and would require more of my brain power.

- Economics: I keep thinking about how I did on the final. It was an ok test - not insanely difficult and if you study you can figure things out. But there was such a time crunch. I usually have no problem with finishing a test on time, so when I started, I didn't really think of time management. Then I spent way too long on four T/F questions and when I looked up I freaked out because I had only 35 minutes left for all the other questions. In the last few minutes, I ended up crossing off an answer I now think was correct, and drawing a graph that I think is wrong. I changed a few other answers too, but I have no idea whether I'm right or wrong.

I usually never think about a test after it's done, which sounds surprising since I seem like the type who would stress out about these things. I actually hate it when people talk about a test after it's over, asking each other what they think some answer was or how they thought they did. I usually figure that I did the best I could and studied pretty hard and if something is marked wrong, I can accept it because I honestly didn't know the answer. In this case, I feel like if I had just managed my time better, my grade would be much higher. It's like I had the capacity to do well but some other factor just fucked me over. Which is why I keep thinking about it this weekend. I guess I'll see what happens when our tests are returned.

Anyway, so I got up, ate some cereal, wrote an email to Erica, and then read my book. My fun book. I think the term is pleasure reading but I think that sounds dirty. I'm reading Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld. I actually just finished it a few hours ago. It was the first book I've finished reading in a long time. I like the way it's laid out but I don't like the character very much. Maybe she has too many qualities that are similar to me. Aren't you supposed to dislike the people who actually have the same negative characteristics as you do? The amazon review is right in saying "some readers may tire of her constant worrying and self-doubting obsessions" but I don't like her when the book is done either. In her adult voice, she still clings onto the same "I will be intimidated by the people I deem higher than me" which kind of shows how she hasn't changed. I want to start reading my next book, but I should probably hold off until I actually finish studying for this round of midterms.

I then went to get a manicure. I'd post a picture, but looking at a picture of fingers is kind of gross. I've been planning to get one for about a month but my friend and I never had the time. Finally we went. It was more expensive than the time I did it with Erica at Candy Nails for prom. I really dislike the process of getting a manicure. I'm probably just unused to it, but it kind of scares me when my nail is being filed off. Even though I know it's just taking off the dead skin, a part of me is like "OMG IS SHE FILING MY FINGER OFF?" I also hate the smell of a nail salon - it's so toxic. There's also the awkward moment of tipping the person. I'm very unused to tipping people who aren't waiters, where you can just leave the money on the table and you don't see them between the time you leave the money and the time you leave. There's no way to see if they think it was too little tip and you also don't have to act so generous when they thank you for the tip.

I keep staring at my hands. Partly because I'm very paranoid about chipping them and whenever I do something with my fingers, I'm certain that all the paint chipped off. I already chipped one finger. It's pretty lame because I was trying to be extra careful and that's probably why it got chipped. There was also a black speck on my left thumb, and it really bothered me so I kind of plucked it off. Now there's a tiny circle in my nail where the black particle used to be, where there's no paint on it. I felt like I was plucking a dinosaur out of the la brea tar pits.

Whenever I see some girl with a french manicure, I think it looks very pretty and natural on their fingers. But for me, I feel like the color is so weird. My nail beds are now this weird unhuman color. When my friend looked at my nails and said "They're so pretty!" I was like "... really?" and then I realized that she had taken me here so I was like "yeah i really like them." If I stare too long at them, I feel like a doll. I also feel like I can hear my fingers screaming "WHY ARE YOU SUFFOCATING US." I don't want to sound like some hippy or whatever the term is, but I really hate all this makeup stuff. They just make your body even worse off, even if you look better for that short term. When I use mascara, I feel like my eyelashes are about to fall off. When I rub off eyeliner, I can just see myself getting crows eyes at that very moment. Now, I'm even less inclined to shave my legs because Chrystal told me that it'll make the pores on your legs bigger.

The season premiere of Friday Night Lights was yesterday. It was awesome. I don't know if I would think it was better than Brothers and Sisters though ... the ending had a very WTF moment where my floormate and I were both yelling at the tv "WTF ARE YOU DOING YOU IDIOTS." For almost the entire episode, Connie Britton doesn't wear any makeup. In the beginning, when she IS wearing makeup I said to my floormate "she's so pretty. if i could look like that when i'm 40, I'd be so happy." Then she came on the screen with no makeup, which I love to see because I don't think an uptight actress would ever concede to do such a thing. The only time I know this has happened was Meryl Streep in Devil Wears Prada. Part of me was like "yay connie britton for doing this" but at the same time I was like "wow she looks really ... different." I can't bring myself to say ugly and old, because I heart her. I'm sure seeing her in person without makeup would be normal. But on tv, the camera is just so much harsher.

I would post a picture or a video of Kyle Chandler holding his tv baby, but I can't find any. It is seriously the cutest thing ever. Kyle Chandler is awesome. I can find no fault in him or his character.

I should probably go to the library now. After I decide what pictures/videos to stick in here, because they're fun to include in blogspot.


The scene where I realized that Minka Kelly is not a terrible actress and that her character is pretty awesome