My life seems to be unraveling

I'm at Jonathan's house right now and I'm going to sleepover for the weekend. I didn't realize that I'm sleeping over at a BOY'S house until just now, when I was thinking of how to start the entry. It's not that hard to believe, considering how many other things my mom has let me do (ex. hosting a sleepover with four guys in my living room, having friends drink alcohol in our own home, go on completely random ass roadtrips, once internationally) but I did not realize until now that when she called to check up on me four hours ago, I answered with "Oh I'm at Jonathan's! I'm going to be spending the night. I have to go now, I'll call you later!" and she answered NOT with "WHAT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW?!" but with "Oh you don't have to call me tonight I can tell you are busy."

But that is not at all the point of this entry.

I feel bad using Jon's computer since he's kind of wandering around the house doing nothing, so this entry will be brief. Plus, I think I could punch out a more thoughtful post when I'm back in my sublet, instead of when I'm basking in the gloriousness of sitting in a CLEAN, COZY house.

Basically, I just took one of the best showers in my life. It wasn't at some fancy hotel and people were not waiting to massage me or anything. It was in Jon's house, in a shower that I couldn't figure out how to use until I had to redress and ask him, using pretty soggy soap and having to put on clothes I dug out of my backpack.

But oh my god .... the luxury of bathing somewhere without shower slippers, without the anxiety of having people walk past and catch a glimpse of your goodies, of having a freaking bathtub with glass doors surrounding you and being able to just step out and dry yourself in an enclosed room ... is freaking fantastic.

I mentioned this earlier but I don't know if anyone took me seriously - for the past five days I've been showering at the gym instead of at my sublet. That's how disgusting I think my sublet bathroom is. Honestly, it's not the worst thing ... but if having to shower in a public place where I sometimes have to walk around buck naked in front of other girls makes me happier than showering at my sublet, I'm going to do it. And I have, and I plan to for the rest of the summer.

So that's all I'll say for now - it's 1:10 am and I'm super tired but insanely happy that I have the fortune of having norcal friends to visit during the lonely months of Berkeley summer, who will allow me to sleepover at their houses and keep me from going into a terrible depression. Because I'm kind of getting there. Not to be melodramatic - maybe this is my natural mode when I'm dead tired, to be melodramatic. But I'll write more about this later.