Wanted: a friend

I do not have "a person." This is Grey's Anatomy's detached way of saying "best friend." I have people but I do not have a particular person. I have been wondering to myself, if I had some sort of big news, who is the first person I would tell? I cannot tell. (HAHA I meant that as "I can't figure it out," not some mysterious "I WILL NEVER TELL") I assumed it would be someone in TMV although I'm starting to wonder if I should not limit this person to TMV. But even if I had a non-TMV person, I would still have to have A person in TMV that I would tell things to first. Even though we rarely have full group gatherings, I wonder if most people would rather be told things with everyone present or if they want to be told individually. It is nice to be told individually, but only if you are one of the first to know.

I figure that "a person" is someone you tell important things to first, and you ask them how to deal with things because they know you best. Chrystal always knows exactly how I would react to a hypothetical situation, but I only go to her for advice and I never tell her about my personal stuff. There are other people who I would consider "my person," but I know that I am not their person, so it makes me hesitant to really make them "my person." If they are not going to tell me things first, then why should I tell them things first? It seems unbalanced.

Since Thanksgiving, I have changed my mind about who my person is like four times. It is weird because I feel like every year except this one, I have had a person. But I always thought of it as a person I spent a lot of time with. Now I am realizing that the people I spend a lot of time with may not necessarily be the person I would tell secrets to or whatever.

HAHA This is how I turn a blog into a three hour ordeal. Time to sleep. Christmas Eve is upon us. Sigh. Maybe I will find my person in the New Year. There is no rush I guess. I have no problem that needs to be solved and I don't think telling people about my thoughts would clear my head or anything.