Super full yet super empty

I was just in the most amazing house I have ever been in. I don't think I will ever be in a house that nice again. HAHA It wasn't nice as in mansion with gleaming granite countertops and marble floors. It was one of those huge North Berkeley houses that feel incredibly homey the second you walk in. The rooms were perfectly sized to feel lived in, not cramped but not excessive, there were huge windows in every room, the bathroom felt like it was three times the size of mine, and the kitchen was like my dream kitchen. Countertops that were like huge cutting boards, a high table with stools, and even a dishwasher that blended in with the painted walls. There were stacks of books (but not so many that it was overflowing) on tables, all the furniture went well together but they weren't bought as a set. To enter the house, you have to climb an incredible number of stairs but once you reach the front door, you feel like you've just entered your own private kingdom.

The backyard was huge and overrun with weeds - from the back porch it looked like just another Berkeley houseyard gone wild. But once you get down to the ground, it looks less so and you start to feel comfortable even within the huge mess of brush. I wasn't even able to go to the other half of the yard, where it looked like there was a greenhouse and some two story tower looking thing.

GAH every time I hang out with Angelica and Ryan's friends I feel INCREDIBLY stupid and very limited in life experience. I think 80% of their jokes go completely over my head. Most of them are physics majors but they know a crapload about biology and chemistry and many of their jokes stem from knowledge of the natural sciences. It's not even book smart, they know everything about EVERYTHING. They are also amazing story tellers too - whenever they tell a story that I actually understand, I find myself laughing uncontrollably. Also, they are generally pretty fit and I spent a long time today discreetly looking at each person, remarking to myself "GOOD GOD LOOK AT THEIR JAWLINES."

I ate way too much - BECAUSE I HAD NO ONE TO SHARE MY FOOD WITH! I am jealous that Angelica has Ryan because she could just share her hot dog and other foods with him. Everyone who came to the BBQ would bring a six pack of beer - but it would be really nice beer. We must have had at least ten different types of beers by the end of the night. I think it's really cute when you throw a little shindig and your guests bring a little six pack and just nonchalantly put on the table. It makes it seem like they get together all the time and it's just a weekly kickback or something.

I always think to myself, I'm GOING TO STOP BLOGGING SO MUCH! Seriously, how can I talk so much when all I do is go to work? Somehow, I find it possible.

Things I ate today:
- a crazy good salad that had spinach, grapes, some sort of nut, and a dressing that was created by the host. It was made of 2:1 olive oil and balsalmic vinegar, honey, and dijon mustard, sprinkling of salt and pepper
- hamburger. this is where I was impressed: they had set out a dish of condiments that included red leaf lettuce, tomatoes, onions, avocado, and pineapples, all freshly cut
- hot dog, or specifically, a bratwurst
- a chocolate cake made with williams sonoma mix
- smores. a REAL smore with graham cracker, giant marshmallow and chocolate
- corn

God. Why is this summer turning out so well?

To be as cool as Ryan's friends, I'd have to
1) go rock climbing
2) be in school to get my phd OR be Alice Water's personal assistant (GOOD GOD)
3) form my own band
4) GSI for a class
5) do research
6) travel internationally every year
7) drink more
8) Be 27+ in age

Why is MY life so meaningless in comparison? Seriously, each time I meet one of Ryan's friends I'm like "ok, this has to be the end to his parade of talented and sociable geniuses." And then I go to something else and meet five more.