The Going Home Theory

I have a theory that my mom and I always get in minor fights when I'm about to come home. During the rest of the year we always have very pleasant conversations but once we start talking about how I'm coming home and such, I start to get very short tempers and snap very easily. Or maybe she gets more annoying. It's really weird but so far every time I've gone home, this has held true.

And now, today a few days before Mother's Day, she calls to say thank you for the card I sent her and at the end of half of hour, I hang up going "You're really fucking--- I'm really pissed off right now. I'm going to hang up. Goodbye."

Anyhoo, it'll be forgotten/looked over by Sunday. So whatever. Apartments are a very touchy subject right now. I basically got very pissed because she was like "I don't understand why you couldn't just find a place that would start in the summer" and I was like are you fucking kidding me. Do you know how hard it is to find an apartment in Berkeley? -_-

I'm also getting myself into deeper and deeper shit as I prolong this "yeah! I'm not sharing a room with two guys" because she is already suspecting that I lie. She always knows when I lie! About the big stuff at least. I think because subconsciously, I want her to know so when I lie, she can tell. But while I was showering, I compiled a list of things that I COULD have done rather than do what seems to be the worst option possible.

1) Tell the truth from the beginning and just pull my stubborn bitch card which she generally can't fight against
2) Tell her that I am only living with one other guy and just do the futon trick with her (where I have a futon in the room and it's really a second bed, but when people come, I claim it's my sofa)
3) And this is the best that I was kicking myself for not thinking of earlier. Just tell her that I'm sharing a room, but with a girl. And if she were ever to visit, I kick Jon out for a few hours and have Christine make an appearance. SIGH. I think it would be super suspicious if I tried to work this in now though.

Sigh.

And besides Monday's Econ lecture which I will ditch, and Physics and Music which I will go to only out of obligation to my friends who are the GSIs for that class, SCHOOL IS OVERSSSSS. Time to study for economics.

ALSO ARGH! I wrote my film paper and it got an 85% WTF. AND THE MAIN COMMENT WAS "YOU DID NOT HAVE A TITLE." WELL I'm sorry for naming my paper "FILM PAPER." I didn't realize a stupid ass title was THAT IMPORTANT. ARGH. I even wrote "grades very fairly" on her evaluation too! LSKDJFDSKLJLDSF I'M SO PISSED. Now I actually have to study for film. I was considering blowing off the final. >:O!

Haa

Me: So you know how I made that complicated doodle and sent out e-mails to everyone to figure out which day we could go to the zoo?
Caroline: Yeah
Me: Well I realized ... we could just go on Sunday ... because finals aren't scheduled on Sundays
Caroline: Oh yeah huh
Me: I guess next Sunday will be your fake birthday then
Caroline: You know, that's the day of Eric's real birthday. We were just discussing this and someone was like "hey you know Eric's birthday is coming up soon?"
Me: Seriously? Maybe we should celebrate his real birthday then, before we start making up birthdays.

I woke up at 8, put on my gym clothes, realized I couldn't find my shoes, took off my running shoes, studied econ from 9-10:30, found my shoes in Caroline's room from yesterday's How I Met Your Mother viewing, went to work from 11-4:30, went straight to class, went straight to meet up with my hopefully future landlord who is a lot better looking than I had envisoned, went straight to my RCSA meeting, came home, knocked on Caroline's door, and proceeded to watch about 3 hours of tv. Then, showered, read some more economics, and am now sitting here.

What a productive day.

Things I really need to do but keep putting off:
- Figure out where I'm going to store my stuff for the summer and what I'm going to take home
- Prepare for my interview (EEK! I will blog about this if I get it. If I don't, I'll pretend like it never happened)
- Really actually start working out by running and swimming and getting super thin before Angelica's graduation where I have to wear a dress
- Decide whether I want to lie to my landlord and say I'm living with one person when I'm really living with two, which may result in a huge fine if caught. If not caught, will save $275 per month
- Finalize plans with floor to come to SoCal
- Blow off some steam (as if I work hard at all) by going shopping or browsing Rasputin
- Decide whether or not I'm going to make pillows for my floor (at this point, it'll probably take me the rest of my college years to make six)

Excerpt of May 7th

Eric: My crotch hurts
Me: WHAT? Does that really happen to guys?
Eric and Hao: YEAH!
Jon: Wait what? So it's like you're walking along the street and then you go "ow"?

Eric: I'm getting hard
Christine (leaning in and peering at his crotch): No you're not
Eric: WOW THANKS are you trying to say it's so small you can't see it?

Which led to a night calling Eric "BABY PENIS"

There were a lot of quotes but as always, they've kind of floated out of my head. All I know is that I ended class today at 6:30, went to Room 306, and it's now 1am and I never left the building and the only time I went to my room was to heat a burrito and drink water a few times.

Random plans we came up with:
- Drive down to SoCal after finals and also before real school begins
- Roy's Restaurant on my birthday
- SF Zoo on Caroline's fake birthday (since her real one is during the summer and none of us will see her since she'll be in Europe, I said we should have a fake bday party)
- Floor party with money we got from winning an iPod shuffle ... we have planned $56 worth of $5 Little Caesar's pizzas
- Strip club for Paulo's birthday, or even earlier
- "Let's go to a strip club!" "You know what, I would actually go" "OMG LET'S GO TO A GAY CLUB" "OMG YEAH THAT WOULD BE GENIUS" ... so we have a Castro Valley gay club added to the list
- Since I realized the roommate I share a sublet with this summer will not come until July, SLEEPOVERS IN MY SUMMER FRAT ROOM!

Also, things I've thought of
- Picnic at Tilden's with delicious sandwiches
- I really want to make pillows for everyone but I don't know where to buy little throw pillows because I don't really want to buy large pillows

Today was fun. Except I decided to completely not do a homework assignment, since they drop the lowest grade anyway. But I don't think I've ever consciously decided not to do a homework assignment. OH NO I'm becoming a bad student. Eek.

FOUR MORE DAYS OF SCHOOL. AND NONE OF THEM ARE THAT BAD AT ALL.

Unhappiness. Why?

If you know me at all, I'm sure you can guess at least one of the reasons.

A) SUPER FAT AHHHHH
I basically didn't really go to the gym last week and instead, decided to eat whatever I want. I think that every month there is a period where I freak out because my stomach gets significantly larger (at least in my eyes). I guess I just need this constant renewal of motivation/paranoia. Because it totally works. TOMORROW I am going to go to the gym and run my heart out. Boo that I can't swim but I think I will swim later this week.

Reasons I need to get super thin REALLY SOON:
- IEOR presentation on TUESDAY. This means I have to wear dress pants, and the ones I have make my legs look incredibly thin, but it also gives me a huge muffin top. So I'm not really sure what I should wear on top, since anything I wear is going to make me look super fat anyway. Sadly, I cannot wear a baggy sweatshirt as professional wear.
- Commencement: Angelica invited me to sit in VIP! of commencement. I will be sitting with her parents, her bf, and her bff. HAHA Hopefully this means I am her #2 BFF.
- Beginning of summer: I cannot go home starting off fat. Because ... sadness. Which reminds me, I have to start getting in the mindset of "When I go home I'm going to running every day"

B) The year is ending and my two best RCSA friends are graduating! Li-Ting has definitely done a lot for me in my life and Angelica is my lifelong friend. HAHA I was not sad at all when we had middle school graduation, I was only somewhat sad about high school graduation b/c I was like "I'll be in contact with people I really care about at least during college" but this graduation is like AH people's actual lives are starting. Li-Ting will go to SF (ok so it's close, but still) and Angelica is going to med school. :( Sometimes I get very sad because I wonder if I will really see Angelica after these few weeks

C) I haven't done ANY HW this weekend. Ok not true, but I haven't done ANY ECONOMICS AHHHH. This week is going to be really bad because it's THE LAST WEEK (YAY) but since it's the last week, I'm going to be even LESS motivated than before to do work. And I'm already at my lowest point ever. I ditched half of my classes last week. Pretty bad.

But I'll even this out with happy things. With the aid of youtube.

A) HIMYM tomorrow! Last week's episode was good. Mondays are my happy days


B) I heart this song a lot. It was played on the season finale of HIMYM Season 2. I found this video over winter break, I think, and every time I watch it, it makes me want to travel to whereever this Dublin Castle is. Actually, this is half happy half sad because I'm a little sad that I don't travel very much. But this shall pass - once I remember how much I hate to travel.



C) Fine. That's actually it. Ok.

My first actual college friends from RCSA last year


This was taken by one of the students I taught for Fun in Science. It was super cute because Angelica and I were like "do you want to take a picture with us?" to these four students and they were like YEAH! And then other kids noticed and ran over to join the picture and as more and more came, they tried to be in the center of the picture, so they kept going closer to the camera and when the photo was finally taken, all the kids were like 3 feet away from Angelica and me. I think watching kids play with their friends is super cute.

Wow the time

Omg... it's 2am. nothing good happens after 2 am. HAHA jk that's a how i met your mother reference. anyway ... I was supposed to go to sleep at 12 today. I have to get up and teach children tomorrow at 8am! I went to take a shower at 11:30 which means i was probably done around 11:45. And then I decided to knock on Paulo's door and tell him about a SUPER AWKWARD MOMENT that happened in the bathroom HAHA and then ALL OF A SUDDEN it's like freaking 2 am.

Eric came in a little after I did and the three of us just talked for ... a longggg longg time. Then we moved places and loud whispered in the hallway and at the very end I talked to Paulo for like 2 minutes in my room. 2 hours of pure talking. LOVE IT. I learn a lot from them. Paulo is like ... one of the most stereotypical guys I know. If you look at most of my male friends, a lot of them aren't like that stereotypical guy you would imagine. Not that that's a bad thing - I'm sure I'm friends with them usually because they aren't what I view as a stereotypical guy. Ok, so this is the conversation I had with Eric and Paulo, which I view to be stereotypical guy:

Ok, actually I typed out a portion of the conversation and realized that most of my friends who read this blog would not appreciate it. Plus I figure we're all going down to SoCal one day, and when we do, I don't want my friends to be like "oh ... you're that guy who said ... that ..." so HAHA I'll just remember it in my head.

The end of this semester is REALLY weird. I've said this so many times. I'm in one of those weird mood phases. I really just want school to end because I don't want to do any work anymore. Every day I have to consider what classes I absolutely have to go to. But I don't ever want the year to end because then we'll never have these study lounges again, where we go in and knowingly sit on a freaking dirty couch. Or we plug in our laptops and pretend to work but really, we end up just talking to each other. And then people get up and write chinese all over the chalkboard. And I'll miss just walking to the bathroom, opening the door, and then ending up in a long conversation over the sinks. Or just walking past Jon/Paulo/Joe's room and going in whenever I want. Or those very few times we went to the gym together. Or being able to whisper in a hallway. Or even waiting for the elevator together to go eat dinner. Or being like "dude I'm hungry and it's 1am ... WHO WANTS LATE NIGHT?"

And I also haven't gymmed in three days and I am really fat and I just realized that I have banquet on SATURDAY where I have to wear a dress which means MAJOR DIETING TOMOROW. Ok, I already know that won't work. But I also have to do my presentation for IEOR on Tuesday, which means dress pants and a dress shirt and I look SUPER FAT in the dress pants because they give me a muffintop, even though they make my legs look fantastic. I need a new pair of dress pants, I think. But even though I know I don't gym, I eat TONS now. Tons of really bad things. Mainly peanut butter and candy. So baddddddd

This is like senior year, when you're rushing to do everything you want before you leave for college. Only, senior year was dragged out over an entire year with set friends, whereas this was four months of meeting friends and feeling like you've known them forever. While talking to Eric and Paulo, we were kind of going over how we met each other. And then I realized that back in February, when I had gone to look at a house with a bunch of people, Eric had tagged along and at the time, I was like "who is this guy?" And that was literally like 2.5 months ago. And now he's like one of my closest Berkeley friends, who I make fun of nonstop. Pretty insane.

Ok. Super late. I don't know how I will sleep when my rem cycle is off and my brain is jumping from all this socializing/blogging. Tomorrow will probably be a painful day. :)

Things that made me happy in the convo:
- paulo and eric saying i'm trustworthy
- paulo and eric saying i'm like the center of the group (only because I usually plan HAHA doesn't this sound familiar?)
- "i'm going to say 'give me ten minutes and i think i can please you'" "umm ... you can rephrase that later"
- "CAROLINE! what's the most lesbian thing you've ever done?" "... yeah ... i'm going to go now ... night guys"
- "paulo i think you've gone further with a guy than i have"
- realizing that Paulo knows SO MUCH about how to get girls. seirously, he could write The Game
- "i haven't had a gf in two years!" "YEAH well try nineteen!"
- "DUDE the most awkward thing just happened" *blah blah blah* "OMG THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I JUST SAID TO PAULO! I HAD THAT EXACT AWKWARD MOMENT"
- "WAIT WTF THAT'S CREEPY! YOU'RE SO CREEPY! oh wait. sorry. is that mean? ok. never mind."