I'm freaking tired

I'm sitting in my sweaty, smelly gym clothes right now eating Panda Puffs from Trader Joe's. It's 12:30, and a week ago I would have been like "OMG I have to go to bed NOW!" but now I'm like "ok ... I guess it's time to start homework!" Panda Puffs, by the way, came very highly recommended to me but I don't think they're that great. But I've only had them dry - maybe they turn magically delicious when put in milk. Ok, I just dropped one on the ground, picked it up, found two other ones I dropped earlier today, and ate those too.

Anyway, I'm super busy everyday ... like busier than I've ever been really. And this is going to continue until April 12th, except for one glorious week of spring break. And I guess for another week after spring break, I have as of yet, nothing planned but I know I will end up having to do a lot. So in my life I have:

1) RCSA volunteering: high school seniors are coming to check out Berkeley and I signed up to volunteer to answer questions. I love this because you get to talk to strangers and you're in the position of power. LOVE! I get to do this next weekend in socal, and I hear it's incredibly tiring. It's straight talking from 8-4 ... like absolutely no break. Then you go out and blow off $64 for dinner. I guess $64 is not that much, including tip and tax. What am I saying ... I usually try to spend $10 a meal. I hear we're going to a delicious sushi place - so I'm debating whether to get a shitload of special rolls, or one of those combos that no one ever gets because they're so expensive. Hmm...

2) Work: I've actually skipped a lot of hours because of volunteering. Sigh. I want to make more money. I've planned out my paycheck. Tuesday = new pair of jeans. Thursday = new pair of heels. Friday = new purse. Next Tuesday = bikini. Next Thursday = Boots. Next Friday = more tshirts. THEN I'll begin saving.

3) School: I officially don't understand economics anymore and I refuse to go to lecture. I don't think I could do any better on homework even if I went to lecture. That professor really pisses me off. Terrible lecturer!

4) Gymming: Agh! I've been so busy these past few days that I didn't even go to the gym yesterday. I went running just now, which is why I'm all dirty. Maybe I should have showered first. Well, I really want to lose all my stomach fat by the beginning of spring break. Let's see how that goes. Yesterday, I magically had the stomach I've been working for, but then today it just got progressively worse. *cries* It'll never be good enough

5) Edu96: Is the class where I teach 2nd graders science. I know ... ME? CHILDREN?! I am quite terrifed too. Today was the first day we went to teach. I had to wake up at 7:30 ... which is actually not at all earlier than I normally wake up. But somehow, knowing I HAD to wake up at 7:30 made me very anxious so I ended up waking up at 6:15. The day before, I had to wake up at 7:15 and I ended up waking up at 5:40. Very weird biological clock. This is after sleeping at 1:30 both days.

So first impressions, I thought the teacher was incredibly mean. She's very controlling and likes things done her way. Usually we're supposed to have control of the class and the teacher just lets you do whatever you want. But she kept interrupting and leading the class. She's also very mean to the students in my opinion, and I think she says some pretty hurtful things. I excused a lot of kids to recess but some of them just left, since we were running a little late. I didn't really care, but when she went out, she came back with one kid, and was yelling at him for leaving without being checked off. I was like ... whoa. So Angelica and I walked out of there like W..T..F.

But later I talked to other people in the class and they were like "I know exactly how she comes off but she really cares about the students." I guess she was the one who actually started this entire fun in science program, where Berkeley students come to teach kids and do science experiments with them. And after hearing other students' stories about crazy teachers, and then the leader of our class explaining why they're like that ... it's very interesting. I mean, I know teachers have lives outside of school, but you still think teachers all sort of fit a particular mold. Like they HAVE to be nice and extremely patient or else they're bad teachers. But there are a lot of different ways to treat kids, and they can still be effective. I can tell that the students I teach learn a LOT and a large part of that is because the teacher is so controlling and demanding of her students.

And the kids... omg there are some really cute ones. As a teacher, I love the really shy kids. SOO cute. But there are a few that annoyed me within the first hour I worked with them. The interesting thing is that ... they totally fit the stereotype. And when I told Angelica this, she knew who I was talking about and while she somewhat agreed with me, she reminded me how last semester, she noticed that adults see small characteristics appear in kids, and they immediately label them. Like, one of the kids I'm talking about, to be very non-pc, was a kind of chubby black kid. He was pretty rude sometimes and I could easily see him in a few years being those loud, talky guys you hear on the street and assume he's up to no good. But if he does become that, maybe it was partly because adults steered him in that direction. I guess you have to remember that these kids are still growing and become nothing like what they are now.

Panda Puffs are so sugary. I should go shower.

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