Random Thoughts late at night

- Haas decisions come out today. I don't know when and I don't know where to find out. Everyone always asks "are you nervous" and I say "I don't really think about it," which I don't. You can't really dwell on something that's out of your hands. I hope I wake up thin tomorrow - that would make tomorrow wonderful. I think I'll eat out tomorrow if I do get in. I say ... Raleighs. No. Cafe Intermezzo. No. Brazil Cafe? Too far. Sushi House? I'll be eating sushi this weekend. Too many good places to eat at. I'm more concerned about where I would eat than whether I got in it seems.

- I'm not thin. Boo. I was really hungry before my review session so I bought a sandwich from Free Speech Movement Cafe. It was ridiculously good, but 50% of it may have been my hunger. The bread was surprisingly really good - it tasted a little biscuitish. I got roast beef, which I haven't had in a long time. There was chipotle sauce which I usually don't like (after eating that terrible Cuban Panini sandwich) and little pepper things or whatever. So good. But buying stuff from FSM is using cal debit, which is real money, and those sandwiches are freaking expensive. So no more. I think this was the thing that made my stomach expand *cries*

- Midterm tomorrow! The one actually important midterm I have this semester. So far, I've been able to get by without leanring anything from this class, just using past knowledge from Econ1. But I studied the last chapter we are responsible for and I think we're heading into unknown territory. Uh oh. I don't remember exchange rates very well. :( I really hope I get an A in this class. I'm under this belief that grades don't really matter this semester, as long as I can get into Haas, but that is really not true. If I were to interview for a company, the main thing I can rely on would be my GPA, and if I get any more B's, it'll get harder and harder for me to get a job. X__X Must do well so I'm employable my senior year! This is far more stressful than thinking "I need good grades to get into Haas."

- Some of my floormates are planning to come down to socal! I heart a lot of my floormates. But sometimes I wonder if I annoy them. But even though I really like my floormates, I don't have that "we're lifelong friends" feeling that you always hear about. I wonder if this is because I already have TMV, which apparantly not everyone goes to high school and has a super close-knit group of friends. I mean, I would invite both groups to my (probably never) wedding, but I can't imagine having the same connection that I have with TMV with anyone else. Group-wise I mean.

- I really want to start running 3 miles on the treadmill a day. Caroline freaking runs 7-9mi in one go. And then when I told Angelica this she was like "yeah actually Ryan and Dave run about 9 miles a day too" and I was like OMGGGG WHY AM I SO UNFIT. So ... I want to be able to run 3 miles easily by the end of the semester and then if I live in Berkeley for the summer, it's going to be massive exercise. Sigh. Last summer I was like BY THE END OF SUMMER I WILL HAVE ABS and that did not happen. At all.

- Uh oh, I don't think I'm ready for bikini season yet.

- I'm getting more annoyed lately at (:D). I also get very annoyed with myself because I'm very easily influenced by others. I know that I like to be liked, which affects a lot of my actions. Well, I started off one of my friendships thinking this person knew a lot more about the world and knew what to do in social situations when I didn't. I put the person on a high pedestal and their beliefs/actions changed me in ways that I wish they didn't.
Well ... I'm realizing more and more every day that ... well I wouldn't say their beliefs/actions are completely wrong, but they're not things I would want to believe/do. It just really bothers me that I used to go to this person for a lot of things and take what they said really wholeheartedly. Also, their actions kind of rubbed off on me. It's like that episode of HIMYM where you find out that one annoying trait about a person and you just never forget it. That's happening here, but it's also somewhat similar to how I picked up a few of their traits and I can't undo it anymore. Ugh.

- I kind of made an agreement with a guy that I would room with him, and while I still think we would be good roommates, I found people I'm much more closer with and I kind of don't want to live with him anymore. I don't know how to say "uhh remember when I was so excited to be you roommate? Never mind ..." I could never break up with someone. It's so awkward. I better do it soon though - but I also better be 100% sure that I'll have roommates next year. If I am living with my planned roommate though, in the apartment that I want, I think I would be very, very happy.