I haven't run on the treadmill for several months. I stopped because I realized that walking on the incline made my calves thick and running gave me shin splints. The idea of muscle ripping off my bones does not really appeal to me. So I just ran around the track for the rest of the summer, which was really nice. But now that I'm back in school, there's no track to run on - at least I don't THINK there is. There's this giant walled off section next to the RSF and I have no idea what it contains. There's the entire west side of campus that I don't know very well because you have to climb uphill and I have no reason to go to that side. So I've just stuck to the elliptical this entire time.
Yesterday though, I really wanted to go running so I went on the treadmill. It lasted about 2 minutes, because I just happened to go on the one that made hideous screeching noises. So I just retreated back to the elliptical. But today, I walked in and saw a treadmill in a really good place - it faces the raquetball courts so it feels more private, and no one would be staring at me. So I ran about 2 miles on it. omg, I definitely got an endorphin rush from it. I'm kind of just sitting in my room all happy for no reason. I think my body got too used to the elliptical and it started to feel like a chore. So maybe now I'll go back to running.
It's nice to know that I can still gain some simple pleasures in life, and it's not from the tv or alcohol. HA.
It's also raining, which would normally make me even happier, but seeing as how I don't have my UMBRELLA I'm kind of wondering how I will get to class.
This makes me want to go on an arrested development marathon. I really shouldn't though. I have no reason not to (I HAVE NOTHING TO DO IN MY LIFE) but I just shouldn't
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Monday, October 8, 2007
Thank god I don't have a credit card
So I was browsing blogspots today and one of them linked to the greatest site ever. Honestly, the best way to get me to buy something is to put the original price, the reduced price, and a % you save. I just want to buy EVERYTHING. Because it just seems like everything here is on sale! This makes me really want a very high-paying job so I can just charge it like it's nothing. I'm seriously considering becoming an investment banker now. Usually, I think people hear about how investment bankers have no lives and just work insane hours and think it's the worst thing ever. When I first heard that, instead of thinking "thank god I'm not headed in that direction" I actually thought "hey that sounds like it'd fit me." If I'm happiest when I'm busy, isn't it only logical that I will be happiest working overtime? I think so.
All I need is money, good music, possibly a dog, an apartment with a loft, time to watch tv, and a thin body (and at some point, a relationship).
Anyway, I want everything. Seriously. To my unknowledgable fashion eye, most of these things all look the same to me. All that my brain can process is "wow that looks nice" and "wow that is a very well known brand" and "wow give me give me." Let's say I had $1000...
1. Sunglasses
I could probably find a pair of sunglasses that I would love even more, but from this site's selection, this is what I'd get. I look ridiculous in those giant bug-eyed ones and I like fairly dark tinted lenses. I don't understand why people wear sunglasses that are practically clear. It boggles me. These are basically the narrowest pair that I saw and I think it would fit my face ok. I really like sporty looking sunglasses though - the kind of that I see athletes wear around campus. But wearing them would make me an athletes poser.
*also, I wrote in the html that makes this text float to the right MYSELF. my god, computer science turned out to be the most useful class I've taken yet*
2. Jeans
I just grabbed a picture. I can't see for shit from these little thumbnails, and even if the jeans were blown up to the size of my monitor, I still wouldn't be able to tell the difference. I just want more jeans. Any jeans, as long as they look good and make my legs look thin.
3. Dress
Do I need a black dress? I don't think so. But I want one. I probably have no occasion to wear it too, and even if I had to go to a funeral, I don't think this would be appropriate. I don't own any pretty black heels, so this means I'd have to buy a new pair of shoes too...
4. Jackets
Oh my gosh. I'd buy every jacket and every sweater they have on this site. I love winter clothes. I'm such a norcal girl. I hate wearing tshirts and tanks and camis. I do like wearing shorts though. But I'd rather wear jeans. I hate flip flops. I love sneakers. I'd probably love boots too, if I didn't think they were such a hassle to put on. In SF, I could go shopping in a suit and no one would think anything of it. In socal, I'd feel like a crazy workaholic who didn't have time to go home and change if I did that.
5. Sweaters
I don't know why I like this so much. I'm not British. I don't have the thin upper arms to pull this off. I also don't need it in cashmere. Just print it up on a cotton sweater and I'd totally buy it for $20. I don't care.
The only thing I don't want is just about everything from the shirts and blouses section. Do I just have absolutely no fashion sense or are those all older lady clothing? I can't imagine wearing these things to the office, because I'd probably be wearing a suit. At the same time, I can't imagine wearing these out to shopping or something. I can imagine other people doing so, but I would feel so frumpy and lumpy in them. I don't think my body parts fit these types of clothing very well.
Wow. That was a really good way to use up an hour of my life.
All I need is money, good music, possibly a dog, an apartment with a loft, time to watch tv, and a thin body (and at some point, a relationship).
Anyway, I want everything. Seriously. To my unknowledgable fashion eye, most of these things all look the same to me. All that my brain can process is "wow that looks nice" and "wow that is a very well known brand" and "wow give me give me." Let's say I had $1000...
1. Sunglasses
I could probably find a pair of sunglasses that I would love even more, but from this site's selection, this is what I'd get. I look ridiculous in those giant bug-eyed ones and I like fairly dark tinted lenses. I don't understand why people wear sunglasses that are practically clear. It boggles me. These are basically the narrowest pair that I saw and I think it would fit my face ok. I really like sporty looking sunglasses though - the kind of that I see athletes wear around campus. But wearing them would make me an athletes poser.
*also, I wrote in the html that makes this text float to the right MYSELF. my god, computer science turned out to be the most useful class I've taken yet*
2. JeansI just grabbed a picture. I can't see for shit from these little thumbnails, and even if the jeans were blown up to the size of my monitor, I still wouldn't be able to tell the difference. I just want more jeans. Any jeans, as long as they look good and make my legs look thin.
3. Dress
Do I need a black dress? I don't think so. But I want one. I probably have no occasion to wear it too, and even if I had to go to a funeral, I don't think this would be appropriate. I don't own any pretty black heels, so this means I'd have to buy a new pair of shoes too...
4. Jackets
Oh my gosh. I'd buy every jacket and every sweater they have on this site. I love winter clothes. I'm such a norcal girl. I hate wearing tshirts and tanks and camis. I do like wearing shorts though. But I'd rather wear jeans. I hate flip flops. I love sneakers. I'd probably love boots too, if I didn't think they were such a hassle to put on. In SF, I could go shopping in a suit and no one would think anything of it. In socal, I'd feel like a crazy workaholic who didn't have time to go home and change if I did that.
5. Sweaters
I don't know why I like this so much. I'm not British. I don't have the thin upper arms to pull this off. I also don't need it in cashmere. Just print it up on a cotton sweater and I'd totally buy it for $20. I don't care.
The only thing I don't want is just about everything from the shirts and blouses section. Do I just have absolutely no fashion sense or are those all older lady clothing? I can't imagine wearing these things to the office, because I'd probably be wearing a suit. At the same time, I can't imagine wearing these out to shopping or something. I can imagine other people doing so, but I would feel so frumpy and lumpy in them. I don't think my body parts fit these types of clothing very well.
Wow. That was a really good way to use up an hour of my life.
I have nothing to do
I wrote a fairly long post earlier and then I decided to trash it. I honestly feel like I have nothing to write about. Most of my midterms are over, I have one tomorrow but I've finished studying for that one, and I wasn't studying very much to begin with anyway. I'm far less stressed than I was last year. I don't know if it's because I chilled out over the summer or if my classes are just easier or if I just was just a big stress freak last year. But, now I have a lot of idle time which I HATE. Whenever I have a day where I don't do very much, I just start to panic because
1. I think I must have forgotten to do something
2. I think I'm just being lazy and putting off things, even if there is really nothing to do
3. I start thinking about things I SHOULD do which is much more to panic about because these are generally larger, more important things (like getting into Haas, or getting a job) that get looked over when my mind is on homework and tests
4. I feel like my life has no meaning
There are a lot of things I want to do with my free time but actually getting started on them is very difficult. And it's so much easier to just sit in front of my computer and watch shows all day. But I'm now at the point where I've watched all the episodes of all the shows I want to watch. I don't want to rewatch anything, I don't want to pick up new shows. I also dislike reading televisionwithoutpity now, because there are SO many articles that it's kind of diluted the joy I once got from reading them. I don't like celebrity gossip anymore ... I have nothing in my life.
Things I Want
1. Blogs to read: I wish I had a giant list of blogs that were really interesting to read. It makes me kind of want online friends. I wish there were some search engine on blogspot where I could look up a term and find blogs that wrote about it. I've tried searching for blogs but that search was futile. Also, I'd enjoy reading about people's lives, but it's hard to stay interested when you've never met them so you can't hear their voice in your head.
2. New music: Searching for music now seems like a giant pain. Is this one of the signs of getting older? At a certain point, I think you don't care so much about your music and you just listen to what you have or what's on the radio. You'd think that this means my life has moved onto bigger and better things, but that's not the case. Jimmy Eat World has a new CD which I've been playing, but it's too soft to play at the gym. I wish I had a bunch of loud pop or hiphop to play when I'm on the elliptical, but I can't imagine actually searching for such music.
3. Feast of Love: I want to watch this movie even though it appears to have shit reviews. I really like the music in the trailer, and over the summer I spent weeks trying to find the song until I realized you could just download it for free on the band's myspace. I'd watch it today, but if I end up failing my demography midterm tomorrow, I'll just always think "hmm ... probably shouldn't have watched a movie that day"
4. Swimming: Argh I haven't gone swimming in so long. And I seem to always want to go swimming right before I get my period. Swimming would take up 2 hours of my schedule, and would probably solve both my "i hate idle time" problem and my "i'd like to lose weight" goal. I bet I'd lose so much weight really quickly if I started swimming, and actually managed to eat only fruit for dinner, as I plan to do
5. Buy fruit: I really need more fruit. I want apples, grapes, strawberries. I don't know what else is in season. I get bananas at school. Oranges, grapefruit. I'd want mangos but I hate cutting them. These are actually all things that I could buy at school, only they'd charge me 3x the price. I also need to buy some bags of spinach. And some more tofu. My fridge is so empty. It contains a giant bottle of odwalla, some milk that I always have to smell before drinking, a bag of carrots that have been there for over a month, 2 boxes of tofu that I don't know why I bought, because I don't know how to prepare it, and a frozen bag of naan.
6. Watch movies: I kind of want to go to the media resources library in Moffitt library and just watch a lot of old movies. I'm kind of bored. I'm not sure that watching MORE things would make me happier though.
7. A dog: I want a dog all of a sudden. When I walk from my comp sci class to the dorm, I pass by this field where people always bring their dogs. I want a dog! What a freaking cutie. I think what I really want is to be in a relationship, but that's too hard.
I think it's a little annoying that I have more labels than I have of actual posts. I think I was just too eager to categorize my life. I'm going to read now. I'm reading Fried Green Tomatoes. There are too many characters and I have no idea who is who. I hate books that start off with a crapload of characters. I have a terrible memory and since I usually read right before I go to sleep, it's even harder for me to figure out what's going on. I think that might be why I liked reading memoirs and non-fiction over the summer. Far less characters.
1. I think I must have forgotten to do something
2. I think I'm just being lazy and putting off things, even if there is really nothing to do
3. I start thinking about things I SHOULD do which is much more to panic about because these are generally larger, more important things (like getting into Haas, or getting a job) that get looked over when my mind is on homework and tests
4. I feel like my life has no meaning
There are a lot of things I want to do with my free time but actually getting started on them is very difficult. And it's so much easier to just sit in front of my computer and watch shows all day. But I'm now at the point where I've watched all the episodes of all the shows I want to watch. I don't want to rewatch anything, I don't want to pick up new shows. I also dislike reading televisionwithoutpity now, because there are SO many articles that it's kind of diluted the joy I once got from reading them. I don't like celebrity gossip anymore ... I have nothing in my life.
Things I Want
1. Blogs to read: I wish I had a giant list of blogs that were really interesting to read. It makes me kind of want online friends. I wish there were some search engine on blogspot where I could look up a term and find blogs that wrote about it. I've tried searching for blogs but that search was futile. Also, I'd enjoy reading about people's lives, but it's hard to stay interested when you've never met them so you can't hear their voice in your head.
2. New music: Searching for music now seems like a giant pain. Is this one of the signs of getting older? At a certain point, I think you don't care so much about your music and you just listen to what you have or what's on the radio. You'd think that this means my life has moved onto bigger and better things, but that's not the case. Jimmy Eat World has a new CD which I've been playing, but it's too soft to play at the gym. I wish I had a bunch of loud pop or hiphop to play when I'm on the elliptical, but I can't imagine actually searching for such music.
3. Feast of Love: I want to watch this movie even though it appears to have shit reviews. I really like the music in the trailer, and over the summer I spent weeks trying to find the song until I realized you could just download it for free on the band's myspace. I'd watch it today, but if I end up failing my demography midterm tomorrow, I'll just always think "hmm ... probably shouldn't have watched a movie that day"
4. Swimming: Argh I haven't gone swimming in so long. And I seem to always want to go swimming right before I get my period. Swimming would take up 2 hours of my schedule, and would probably solve both my "i hate idle time" problem and my "i'd like to lose weight" goal. I bet I'd lose so much weight really quickly if I started swimming, and actually managed to eat only fruit for dinner, as I plan to do
5. Buy fruit: I really need more fruit. I want apples, grapes, strawberries. I don't know what else is in season. I get bananas at school. Oranges, grapefruit. I'd want mangos but I hate cutting them. These are actually all things that I could buy at school, only they'd charge me 3x the price. I also need to buy some bags of spinach. And some more tofu. My fridge is so empty. It contains a giant bottle of odwalla, some milk that I always have to smell before drinking, a bag of carrots that have been there for over a month, 2 boxes of tofu that I don't know why I bought, because I don't know how to prepare it, and a frozen bag of naan.
6. Watch movies: I kind of want to go to the media resources library in Moffitt library and just watch a lot of old movies. I'm kind of bored. I'm not sure that watching MORE things would make me happier though.
7. A dog: I want a dog all of a sudden. When I walk from my comp sci class to the dorm, I pass by this field where people always bring their dogs. I want a dog! What a freaking cutie. I think what I really want is to be in a relationship, but that's too hard.I think it's a little annoying that I have more labels than I have of actual posts. I think I was just too eager to categorize my life. I'm going to read now. I'm reading Fried Green Tomatoes. There are too many characters and I have no idea who is who. I hate books that start off with a crapload of characters. I have a terrible memory and since I usually read right before I go to sleep, it's even harder for me to figure out what's going on. I think that might be why I liked reading memoirs and non-fiction over the summer. Far less characters.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Manicure
Today has been a very weird day. I came back home late and only had the thought of changing my pants before I went to sleep. Then I woke up at 4am and brushed my teeth and then changed into my pjs and took out my contacts. For some reason, I had the thought of going running but some part of my brain still had the capacity to realize it was still dark outside. Then I woke up at 8:20 and I probably could have stayed in bed if I hadn't realized how much work I have to do today.
- Demography: I just tried taking a practice midterm and out of 9 problems, I could answer 3 with some certainty, although one required me to look up an equation. I finished with more of a "thank god this is over" feeling whereas usually I finish a practice test with "oh no I have to study these concepts more." The first is far worse because it's a general giving up of the entire course, because I have no idea where to begin studying. I know the first chapter fairly well but whenever I don't understand something in the later chapters, I always wonder if it's because I didn't notice some subtlety in the first chapter, which then makes me want to reread everything from the beginning, which THEN makes me want to give up on studying altogether. I need to go to the library and just study, which I will do as soon as this blog is done with.
- Comp Lit: I have to write an essay but I'm not really worried about this because I can do this in a day. I want to do this first, but I know I would just be using this assignment to put off the inevitable studying of demography, which is far more pressing and would require more of my brain power.
- Economics: I keep thinking about how I did on the final. It was an ok test - not insanely difficult and if you study you can figure things out. But there was such a time crunch. I usually have no problem with finishing a test on time, so when I started, I didn't really think of time management. Then I spent way too long on four T/F questions and when I looked up I freaked out because I had only 35 minutes left for all the other questions. In the last few minutes, I ended up crossing off an answer I now think was correct, and drawing a graph that I think is wrong. I changed a few other answers too, but I have no idea whether I'm right or wrong.
I usually never think about a test after it's done, which sounds surprising since I seem like the type who would stress out about these things. I actually hate it when people talk about a test after it's over, asking each other what they think some answer was or how they thought they did. I usually figure that I did the best I could and studied pretty hard and if something is marked wrong, I can accept it because I honestly didn't know the answer. In this case, I feel like if I had just managed my time better, my grade would be much higher. It's like I had the capacity to do well but some other factor just fucked me over. Which is why I keep thinking about it this weekend. I guess I'll see what happens when our tests are returned.
Anyway, so I got up, ate some cereal, wrote an email to Erica, and then read my book. My fun book. I think the term is pleasure reading but I think that sounds dirty. I'm reading Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld. I actually just finished it a few hours ago. It was the first book I've finished reading in a long time. I like the way it's laid out but I don't like the character very much. Maybe she has too many qualities that are similar to me. Aren't you supposed to dislike the people who actually have the same negative characteristics as you do? The amazon review is right in saying "some readers may tire of her constant worrying and self-doubting obsessions" but I don't like her when the book is done either. In her adult voice, she still clings onto the same "I will be intimidated by the people I deem higher than me" which kind of shows how she hasn't changed. I want to start reading my next book, but I should probably hold off until I actually finish studying for this round of midterms.
I then went to get a manicure. I'd post a picture, but looking at a picture of fingers is kind of gross. I've been planning to get one for about a month but my friend and I never had the time. Finally we went. It was more expensive than the time I did it with Erica at Candy Nails for prom. I really dislike the process of getting a manicure. I'm probably just unused to it, but it kind of scares me when my nail is being filed off. Even though I know it's just taking off the dead skin, a part of me is like "OMG IS SHE FILING MY FINGER OFF?" I also hate the smell of a nail salon - it's so toxic. There's also the awkward moment of tipping the person. I'm very unused to tipping people who aren't waiters, where you can just leave the money on the table and you don't see them between the time you leave the money and the time you leave. There's no way to see if they think it was too little tip and you also don't have to act so generous when they thank you for the tip.
I keep staring at my hands. Partly because I'm very paranoid about chipping them and whenever I do something with my fingers, I'm certain that all the paint chipped off. I already chipped one finger. It's pretty lame because I was trying to be extra careful and that's probably why it got chipped. There was also a black speck on my left thumb, and it really bothered me so I kind of plucked it off. Now there's a tiny circle in my nail where the black particle used to be, where there's no paint on it. I felt like I was plucking a dinosaur out of the la brea tar pits.
Whenever I see some girl with a french manicure, I think it looks very pretty and natural on their fingers. But for me, I feel like the color is so weird. My nail beds are now this weird unhuman color. When my friend looked at my nails and said "They're so pretty!" I was like "... really?" and then I realized that she had taken me here so I was like "yeah i really like them." If I stare too long at them, I feel like a doll. I also feel like I can hear my fingers screaming "WHY ARE YOU SUFFOCATING US." I don't want to sound like some hippy or whatever the term is, but I really hate all this makeup stuff. They just make your body even worse off, even if you look better for that short term. When I use mascara, I feel like my eyelashes are about to fall off. When I rub off eyeliner, I can just see myself getting crows eyes at that very moment. Now, I'm even less inclined to shave my legs because Chrystal told me that it'll make the pores on your legs bigger.
The season premiere of Friday Night Lights was yesterday. It was awesome. I don't know if I would think it was better than Brothers and Sisters though ... the ending had a very WTF moment where my floormate and I were both yelling at the tv "WTF ARE YOU DOING YOU IDIOTS." For almost the entire episode, Connie Britton doesn't wear any makeup. In the beginning, when she IS wearing makeup I said to my floormate "she's so pretty. if i could look like that when i'm 40, I'd be so happy." Then she came on the screen with no makeup, which I love to see because I don't think an uptight actress would ever concede to do such a thing. The only time I know this has happened was Meryl Streep in Devil Wears Prada. Part of me was like "yay connie britton for doing this" but at the same time I was like "wow she looks really ... different." I can't bring myself to say ugly and old, because I heart her. I'm sure seeing her in person without makeup would be normal. But on tv, the camera is just so much harsher.
I would post a picture or a video of Kyle Chandler holding his tv baby, but I can't find any. It is seriously the cutest thing ever. Kyle Chandler is awesome. I can find no fault in him or his character.
I should probably go to the library now. After I decide what pictures/videos to stick in here, because they're fun to include in blogspot.
The scene where I realized that Minka Kelly is not a terrible actress and that her character is pretty awesome
- Demography: I just tried taking a practice midterm and out of 9 problems, I could answer 3 with some certainty, although one required me to look up an equation. I finished with more of a "thank god this is over" feeling whereas usually I finish a practice test with "oh no I have to study these concepts more." The first is far worse because it's a general giving up of the entire course, because I have no idea where to begin studying. I know the first chapter fairly well but whenever I don't understand something in the later chapters, I always wonder if it's because I didn't notice some subtlety in the first chapter, which then makes me want to reread everything from the beginning, which THEN makes me want to give up on studying altogether. I need to go to the library and just study, which I will do as soon as this blog is done with.
- Comp Lit: I have to write an essay but I'm not really worried about this because I can do this in a day. I want to do this first, but I know I would just be using this assignment to put off the inevitable studying of demography, which is far more pressing and would require more of my brain power.
- Economics: I keep thinking about how I did on the final. It was an ok test - not insanely difficult and if you study you can figure things out. But there was such a time crunch. I usually have no problem with finishing a test on time, so when I started, I didn't really think of time management. Then I spent way too long on four T/F questions and when I looked up I freaked out because I had only 35 minutes left for all the other questions. In the last few minutes, I ended up crossing off an answer I now think was correct, and drawing a graph that I think is wrong. I changed a few other answers too, but I have no idea whether I'm right or wrong.
I usually never think about a test after it's done, which sounds surprising since I seem like the type who would stress out about these things. I actually hate it when people talk about a test after it's over, asking each other what they think some answer was or how they thought they did. I usually figure that I did the best I could and studied pretty hard and if something is marked wrong, I can accept it because I honestly didn't know the answer. In this case, I feel like if I had just managed my time better, my grade would be much higher. It's like I had the capacity to do well but some other factor just fucked me over. Which is why I keep thinking about it this weekend. I guess I'll see what happens when our tests are returned.
Anyway, so I got up, ate some cereal, wrote an email to Erica, and then read my book. My fun book. I think the term is pleasure reading but I think that sounds dirty. I'm reading Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld. I actually just finished it a few hours ago. It was the first book I've finished reading in a long time. I like the way it's laid out but I don't like the character very much. Maybe she has too many qualities that are similar to me. Aren't you supposed to dislike the people who actually have the same negative characteristics as you do? The amazon review is right in saying "some readers may tire of her constant worrying and self-doubting obsessions" but I don't like her when the book is done either. In her adult voice, she still clings onto the same "I will be intimidated by the people I deem higher than me" which kind of shows how she hasn't changed. I want to start reading my next book, but I should probably hold off until I actually finish studying for this round of midterms.
I then went to get a manicure. I'd post a picture, but looking at a picture of fingers is kind of gross. I've been planning to get one for about a month but my friend and I never had the time. Finally we went. It was more expensive than the time I did it with Erica at Candy Nails for prom. I really dislike the process of getting a manicure. I'm probably just unused to it, but it kind of scares me when my nail is being filed off. Even though I know it's just taking off the dead skin, a part of me is like "OMG IS SHE FILING MY FINGER OFF?" I also hate the smell of a nail salon - it's so toxic. There's also the awkward moment of tipping the person. I'm very unused to tipping people who aren't waiters, where you can just leave the money on the table and you don't see them between the time you leave the money and the time you leave. There's no way to see if they think it was too little tip and you also don't have to act so generous when they thank you for the tip.
I keep staring at my hands. Partly because I'm very paranoid about chipping them and whenever I do something with my fingers, I'm certain that all the paint chipped off. I already chipped one finger. It's pretty lame because I was trying to be extra careful and that's probably why it got chipped. There was also a black speck on my left thumb, and it really bothered me so I kind of plucked it off. Now there's a tiny circle in my nail where the black particle used to be, where there's no paint on it. I felt like I was plucking a dinosaur out of the la brea tar pits.
Whenever I see some girl with a french manicure, I think it looks very pretty and natural on their fingers. But for me, I feel like the color is so weird. My nail beds are now this weird unhuman color. When my friend looked at my nails and said "They're so pretty!" I was like "... really?" and then I realized that she had taken me here so I was like "yeah i really like them." If I stare too long at them, I feel like a doll. I also feel like I can hear my fingers screaming "WHY ARE YOU SUFFOCATING US." I don't want to sound like some hippy or whatever the term is, but I really hate all this makeup stuff. They just make your body even worse off, even if you look better for that short term. When I use mascara, I feel like my eyelashes are about to fall off. When I rub off eyeliner, I can just see myself getting crows eyes at that very moment. Now, I'm even less inclined to shave my legs because Chrystal told me that it'll make the pores on your legs bigger.
The season premiere of Friday Night Lights was yesterday. It was awesome. I don't know if I would think it was better than Brothers and Sisters though ... the ending had a very WTF moment where my floormate and I were both yelling at the tv "WTF ARE YOU DOING YOU IDIOTS." For almost the entire episode, Connie Britton doesn't wear any makeup. In the beginning, when she IS wearing makeup I said to my floormate "she's so pretty. if i could look like that when i'm 40, I'd be so happy." Then she came on the screen with no makeup, which I love to see because I don't think an uptight actress would ever concede to do such a thing. The only time I know this has happened was Meryl Streep in Devil Wears Prada. Part of me was like "yay connie britton for doing this" but at the same time I was like "wow she looks really ... different." I can't bring myself to say ugly and old, because I heart her. I'm sure seeing her in person without makeup would be normal. But on tv, the camera is just so much harsher.
I would post a picture or a video of Kyle Chandler holding his tv baby, but I can't find any. It is seriously the cutest thing ever. Kyle Chandler is awesome. I can find no fault in him or his character.
I should probably go to the library now. After I decide what pictures/videos to stick in here, because they're fun to include in blogspot.
The scene where I realized that Minka Kelly is not a terrible actress and that her character is pretty awesome
Thursday, October 4, 2007
I'm inspired to rant
I previously started two different entries and deleted them before I was ever done. I really shouldn't try to blog or do homework or anything when the tv is on. I get distracted and I stop typing and when I look at it, I think it's stupid to post. Thursdays are such a pain. How am I supposed to choose between Survivor, Ugly Betty, and 30 Rock? They're all completely different shows so it's hard to compare them. I ended up realizing that I never got addicted to Ugly Betty, so there's no reason to force myself to watch it. I can easily decide not to watch Survivor, but I saw a few minutes today and it was pretty addicting. Then 30 Rock came on, and 30 Rock >> Survivor. I actually laughed out loud several times. More than for The Office, although 15 minutes into The Office, I just wanted it to be over so I could get started on "homework"
My reason for ranting: Why can't I stop myself from eating?! Honestly, I KNOW that I'll be more unhappy eating something than I would be not eating it. If anything, it would probably make me even happier to know that I resisted eating something I was craving. This is what went down
Stomach: I'm hungry... it's 11:30 and you ate dinner at 5:00
Brain: We ate at 5:00 because you wanted to chow down on a tuna sandwich since noon. And you were completely stuffed afterwards. You're not allowed to eat anymore today
Stomach: But that was so long ago! I want a Clif Bar
Brain: You can't eat a Clif Bar. It has tons of sugar in it, and it'll probably keep you awake at night
Stomach: Exactly! Then you can continue studying! You can't study without food. You'll tire out and just go to bed
Brain: NO. It's 11:30! You're not allowed to eat food after 10:00. Also, you have to look super thin tomorrow because you will be wearing a long-sleeve sweater with horizontal lines that will cling to your stomach. And horizontal lines make you look even fatter. And you're going to a party at night. You can't go to a party if you're not perfectly flat.
Stomach: Fine. No Clif Bar then.
Brain: Good. I'm glad we came to an understanding
Hands: OMG A CLIF BAR
Brain: AGHHHHHHHHHH
Mouth: yum.
Wow, that was fun. Now I know why the ladies on gofugyourself make all those long dialogues that I never read.
I think the reason I've been slightly more lenient over what I eat is because I don't have a formal set of rules. Or a goal. Also, I think that if you tell yourself you're not allowed to do something, it'll just make you want to do it more.
I really want a picture of someone whose body I want so I have a set goal, as opposed to what I currently do which is "you're fatter than yesterday" or "you're almost the size you were in the summer." But I can't think of anyone whose body I could realistically achieve. Yes, even I am not so naive as to think that I can become a super thin hot girl. So that pretty much eliminates any female in Hollywood.
There was this hilarious line on 30 Rock where one of the actresses on the show gains weight (I actually laughed when the camera drew back and I saw her in an obvious fat suit) and Alec Baldwin who plays this executive on NBC says something like "She'll have to either lose 30 pounds or gain 60. Anything in between has no place on television" which is SOOO true. There's never anyone who's like ... just a little bit overweight, because then she'd be pressured to lose weight until she's normal. And I've noticed that all the larger actresses on TV (this doesn't apply to males) always have pointy faces, which give them the impression of being thin. I think it's because then when the camera focuses on their face, they still don't seem fat, which would be unappealing to look at. But when you focus on the entire body, it's not that big of a deal.
I've ended up talking to Chrystal for the past hour. She's very tired and doesn't sleep or eat very much, so now every night we talk about the most ridiculous things and it's like the most hilarious thing ever. I feel like we're both on drugs or something. Anyway, I didn't really finish what I had to say, but I have so many posts about my fatness that I'm sure it doesn't matter. I leave you with one of many pictures she drew for me in her insane state
My reason for ranting: Why can't I stop myself from eating?! Honestly, I KNOW that I'll be more unhappy eating something than I would be not eating it. If anything, it would probably make me even happier to know that I resisted eating something I was craving. This is what went down
Stomach: I'm hungry... it's 11:30 and you ate dinner at 5:00
Brain: We ate at 5:00 because you wanted to chow down on a tuna sandwich since noon. And you were completely stuffed afterwards. You're not allowed to eat anymore today
Stomach: But that was so long ago! I want a Clif Bar
Brain: You can't eat a Clif Bar. It has tons of sugar in it, and it'll probably keep you awake at night
Stomach: Exactly! Then you can continue studying! You can't study without food. You'll tire out and just go to bed
Brain: NO. It's 11:30! You're not allowed to eat food after 10:00. Also, you have to look super thin tomorrow because you will be wearing a long-sleeve sweater with horizontal lines that will cling to your stomach. And horizontal lines make you look even fatter. And you're going to a party at night. You can't go to a party if you're not perfectly flat.
Stomach: Fine. No Clif Bar then.
Brain: Good. I'm glad we came to an understanding
Hands: OMG A CLIF BAR
Brain: AGHHHHHHHHHH
Mouth: yum.
Wow, that was fun. Now I know why the ladies on gofugyourself make all those long dialogues that I never read.
I think the reason I've been slightly more lenient over what I eat is because I don't have a formal set of rules. Or a goal. Also, I think that if you tell yourself you're not allowed to do something, it'll just make you want to do it more.
I really want a picture of someone whose body I want so I have a set goal, as opposed to what I currently do which is "you're fatter than yesterday" or "you're almost the size you were in the summer." But I can't think of anyone whose body I could realistically achieve. Yes, even I am not so naive as to think that I can become a super thin hot girl. So that pretty much eliminates any female in Hollywood.
There was this hilarious line on 30 Rock where one of the actresses on the show gains weight (I actually laughed when the camera drew back and I saw her in an obvious fat suit) and Alec Baldwin who plays this executive on NBC says something like "She'll have to either lose 30 pounds or gain 60. Anything in between has no place on television" which is SOOO true. There's never anyone who's like ... just a little bit overweight, because then she'd be pressured to lose weight until she's normal. And I've noticed that all the larger actresses on TV (this doesn't apply to males) always have pointy faces, which give them the impression of being thin. I think it's because then when the camera focuses on their face, they still don't seem fat, which would be unappealing to look at. But when you focus on the entire body, it's not that big of a deal.
I've ended up talking to Chrystal for the past hour. She's very tired and doesn't sleep or eat very much, so now every night we talk about the most ridiculous things and it's like the most hilarious thing ever. I feel like we're both on drugs or something. Anyway, I didn't really finish what I had to say, but I have so many posts about my fatness that I'm sure it doesn't matter. I leave you with one of many pictures she drew for me in her insane state
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