Wasting time by thinking about life

This is completely 100% an attempt to delay work on my environmental sciences final paper. It was supposed to be half completed yesterday but I ended up watching Speak. Which, the entire time I was watching it, I was thinking "why does this movie sound so familiar?" and then I realized it's based on a book I had read. I'm glad Kristen Stewart's resume is so limited, otherwise I'd be wasting even more time watching her movies. (No more pictures of her because I'm quite close to weird teenage girl fan crush status) I finished my case study paper on Russia but now I've gotten so sick of writing the word environmental that I don't want to do anything else. But I had really planned on finishing my final paper before Thanksgiving, so I could come back from break and only worry about three classes. Also, I get the pride and glory of saying I finished a paper two weeks before its due date.

I want to go home NOW! I never used to get homesick for Arcadia, probably because I liked living in the dorms more. I wouldn't say I'm homesick, but I look forward to going home a lot more now. Before I would only be excited to see TMV, but now, *GASP* I'm actually excited to see my parents as well. I enjoy going home and eating this red bean pancake thing that my mom buys every time I go home. I like how clean and uncluttered my room is - it feels kind of like a hotel room because I can just throw my suitcase on the ground and for however long I'm home, my clothes just end up spread out on the floor.

Now, I take joys in little things, like being able to walk around on barefoot or showering in a large bathroom, or my Dad happily washing dirty dishes for me. Although I always get a little pissed when I look at myself the next day, it's funny how my mom ALWAYS buys a new carton of ice cream whenever I'm coming home, just so she can eat some too. I like having the option of running at the AHS track, although I haven't done so since the summer, I think.

After visiting UCSD for Veteran's Day I was really contemplating whether I would rather live in SD or SF when I graduate. After last week's adventures around SF, it's an unequivocal vote for San Francisco. The food, the financial district, the views and the CRAZY culture that is SF - how can you want to leave? I don't know why so many SF events entail nudity, but it's hilarious.

I am really looking forward to the day when I can move into a clean, modern-looking apartment building. I wonder if I would be living alone. When I picture my future, I imagine living by myself, which seems so luxurious. It would be AWESOME to do everything MY way. My living situation is not terrible now - one of my apartmentmates is a lot messier than I would like, but whatever. Knowing other people's situations, at least their personalities are likable. But there are so many little things that I wish people would do, like can you SQUEEZE the sponge, or can you DRY YOUR FEET before stepping on the bathmat, but they're so little that there's no point in telling people, otherwise I'd just come off as crazy.

I want to be able to go home to MY OWN place, throw my shit on the sofa and just play music as loudly as I want. I want to be 100% certain that I am cleaning up a mess I made, and I like the idea of cleaning after myself, and knowing that when something becomes dirty again, it's because of MY actions and not someone else's. I can have a fridge of only MY food, my apples, my hummus, and my carrot sticks. Also, I wouldn't have to have a backup towel in the bathroom for the MANY times that I forgot to bring my towel.

But then I always wonder about how lonely I will feel. I already lived completely alone for the summer, and along with the idea of "I WANT TO PROLONG SCHOOL AS LONG AS POSSIBLE," I had reached the now forgotten conclusion of "DON'T EVER LIVE ALONE." After staying at Connie's apartment, I realized how difficult it would be to have a dog if I were living alone, especially if I am at work all the time. I think it's very fun to come home hungry after a long day of school and say "JON I'M HUNGRY" and we go off to eat. Or it's midnight and I say "JON I'M HUNGRY" and we think about what we want to eat. But other than companionship, and Chrystal pointed out safety, I want to live alone!

Of course, this is a moot point if I end up not getting the job I want, and I don't have the money to live alone anyway.